


we could be immortals

by mistyheartrbs



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/F, Raven Reyes Doesn't Suffer, aden just really likes big hero 6 okay, if that wasn't a tag before it is now, it's just a mess of fluff tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-15
Updated: 2016-07-27
Packaged: 2018-06-02 11:23:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 50,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6564286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mistyheartrbs/pseuds/mistyheartrbs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke Griffin was extremely tired. (or: the high school au in which Lexa doesn't really care about anything, Raven enjoys watching events unfold, and Aden just really likes movies)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. And So It Begins

**Author's Note:**

> so. i'm very very angry about the direction the 100 has been taking and i don't want these poor kids to suffer anymore so i started writing this and. yeah. nobody is going to be sad in this fic ever.

Clarke Griffin was extremely tired. It was a feeling that she couldn't say she was unfamiliar with, admittedly. The day - only the fifth in the school year - had been exhausting. She wanted nothing more than to sleep, honestly. The bleachers were starting to look more and more comfortable by the minute.

_we could be immortals_

The same Disney movie as always was playing on some kid's phone. Clarke groaned - who watched the same movie _five days in a row,_ anyway?

"It's a great film," the girl beside her commented. Clarke blinked, taking a moment to look at her new companion, who currently had a red sweater draped over her shoulder like a cape. She held an air of power, a commanding presence that made Clarke feel like she should be standing straight (ha) and addressing her like a business partner. The girl didn't seem like one to watch Disney movies - she seemed more suited to swinging a sword in some far-fetched, dystopian universe than sitting in a high school gymnasium with a kid who couldn't be older than ten. "The one watching the movie is my younger brother, Aden. He loves it more than anything. While I can't really understand why he loves it quite that much, it's still a good movie. I might have teared up the first time I saw it, admittedly."

"Why's he here?" Clarke asked.

"Waiting for the bus. The elementary school is only a block away, and nobody particularly notices a smaller child on a bus filled with rowdy high schoolers. The only thing he has to fear is being trampled. And stray bullets, I suppose."

"What?"

"You can never be too careful."

"Well, er, anyway, what's your name? I don't think I have you in any of my classes." Clarke vaguely remembered passing the girl in the hallways and seeing her perched on a bench during the beginning-of-the-year assembly, but she was a mystery otherwise.

"Lexa. Lexa Woods. We moved here this summer."

"I'm Clarke." Lexa extended her hand. Clarke tried not to seem rather taken aback by the rather formal gesture.

"Well, Clarke, it was a pleasure to meet you, but now I believe that we must part ways." Lexa stood up and headed for the door, her younger brother in tow.

"Bye, new friend lady!" he chirped, waving enthusiastically until he was out of sight.

***

Lexa would have liked to pretend that she didn't think about this Clarke girl after that first meeting, but she did. It wasn't as if she liked her or anything - it was impossible, she figured, to truly _like_ someone after having exactly one conversation with them, especially when most of that conversation revolved around her brother. Besides, it would be . . . inconvenient, to say the least, if the first person she had actually talked to in this new town besides the teachers ended up also being her token high school crush. Every movie that she had seen (sans the ones that involved lovable robots and interdimensional portals) told her that high school crushes were generally a bad experience for everyone involved. Arkadia - or the "dropship," as students liked to call it for some reason - was a strange school, for sure, and the atmosphere would almost certainly take time to get used to, but Clarke seemed nice enough. If Lexa played her cards right, figured out the ins and outs of Arkadia's rules, then perhaps this move wouldn't be the horrid experience Aden had made it out to be.

"Hey, hey, Lexa!" the brother in question yelled excitedly, tugging at Lexa's sleeve. "This is our stop!" Lexa shook her head as if to clear her mind of thoughts pertaining to the girl she had just spent twenty minutes thinking about, and focused on navigating herself (and Aden) through the mob of high schoolers attempting to leave the bus all at once.

***

The two didn't see each other again until a week later, when Lexa's brother was once again watching the same movie while Lexa herself stared out the window.

"The traffic isn't looking good at the moment," she mused. Clarke looked around to see who she was talking to, but there was nobody in sight. Clarke gave an awkward half-wave.

"So, we meet again," Clarke said, attempting to break the silence. Lexa continued to stare out the window. "Hi? Lexa Woods, right?" Lexa wordlessly nodded, her back still turned.

"And you're the one called Clarke, if memory serves."

"Doesn't he ever get tired of that movie?"

"Who, Aden?"

"Yeah." Clarke nonchalantly leaned against the window to meet Lexa's striking green gaze.

"Well, the movie came out around a year and a half ago, and he's seen it at least seventy times since, so I doubt it."

"Huh." An uneasy silence fell over the two girls, and Clarke noticed Lexa tugging at the hem of her sweater, her fingers twisting the soft fabric over and over again as a group of seniors babbled behind her. "What kind of stuff do you do for fun?" Lexa seemed surprised by the question, and Clarke found herself wondering where exactly this girl had come from.

"I collect candles as a hobby," she answered. "They smell rather nice, in my opinion."

"They smell weird!" Aden yelled from across the room. _Has he been listening this whole time?_ "And they have a bunch of weird names I can't pronounce!" The seniors seemed to notice him for the first time, pausing their conversation to look at the young boy. The supposed leader of the group - Clarke vaguely remembered her name starting with an O - leered down at Aden like a wolf watching its prey, or perhaps a vulture eying an already-dead meal. Her two cronies shuffled behind her, seemingly unsure of what to do.

"Who brought the runt?" she chuckled, snatching the boy's phone from his hands. Aden stepped back.

"Lay a single hand on him, and you'll answer to me," Lexa growled. Clarke stood behind her, unsure of what to do.

"Oh, you? What'll you do?" The leader, still dangling the phone over Aden's head, barked out a throaty laugh. The small group behind her awkwardly echoed the chuckling. A crowd was beginning to gather, and a few freshmen were starting to engage in a chant. Lexa gritted her teeth, and Clarke could see her fist clenching and unclenching repeatedly, the white bone of her knuckles flashing.

"You don't wanna find out!" Aden squeaked, pumping his fist in the air. Clarke wondered if he was actually aware of the danger he was in.

"Silence, worm," the leader snapped before turning back to Lexa. "You're a fool, Woods, if you think you can bring words to a fistfight and expect to win."

"What does that even mean?" Aden groaned. _Yep. Definitely unaware of the danger he's in._

"Ontari," Lexa muttered, in a voice low enough for only the leader (Ontari, apparently), Clarke, and Aden to hear. "What satisfaction would you receive, stealing a cell phone from an innocent child, especially when you are not much older than a child yourself?" Lexa's voice was even, steely, unwavering. It sent a chill through Clarke's spine, and she was so focused on the other girl's commanding presence that she didn't question the fact that Ontari was apparently much younger than she let on, or how she even knew Lexa's last name. "You're a pretentious teenager with a superiority complex," Lexa continued. "On top of that, you're a bully. Now, give the boy his phone back, or you'll hear from more than just me."

"What, you're gonna _tell on me?_ " Ontari sneered.

"Somehow, I doubt that your stepmother would enjoy hearing about this, and neither would the school board." Aden slowly tried to sneak away, but Ontari grabbed him by the scruff of his shirt and pulled him back.

"You're just proving my point," she snorted. "That's . . . that's literally what you're doing. Ha, who would've expected the _great_ Lexa Woods to be such a goody-two-shoes, eh?" Ontari said the word _great_ with an exaggerated drawl, nearly laughing at herself as she dangled the phone over Aden's head. Clarke was just about ready to punch her in the face, but Lexa stopped her with a raise of her hand.

"I wouldn't suggest traveling any further down this path, Ontari," she warned. "It's . . . unbefitting."

"Oh, Miss Woods, I'm so _sorry,_ " Ontari mocked. "It doesn't matter, anyway. This is a waste of time. The kid can have his damn phone back." She tossed the phone in question to Aden, who caught it in his grubby hands and held it close to his chest, like a precious treasure. The boy scurried to Lexa's side.

"Did she hurt you?" Lexa's voice softened as she checked her brother for injuries. " _Aden._ I said, did she hurt you?" Aden blinked.

"That was _awesome!_ " he squeaked. "You would've kicked her butt, I know it!" Lexa breathed a sigh of relief. Ontari and her group still stood a few feet away, muttering incomprehensible things to each other as they slowly backed out of the gym.

"Well, if the clock on that wall over there is correct, then it's just about time for us to take our leave," Lexa sighed.

"Can the cool friend come with us?" Aden asked, pointing to Clarke. Lexa shot her an apologetic glance, a more effective _"it's-okay-you-don't-have-to-do-it"_ than words could convey.

"Sure." Clarke wasn't exactly sure why she was saying yes. Maybe it was because she felt sorry for Aden (who couldn't be older than ten), maybe it was because she had just seen Lexa talk down a slightly power-hungry freshman, maybe it was because her eyes were so brilliantly green and- _no,_ Clarke thought to herself. _I'm not going down that rabbit-hole again._

"Yeah!" Aden cheered, snapping Clarke from her thoughts.

"We'll need to hurry if we want to catch the bus," Lexa said. "Why don't you go on ahead, Aden? I'll catch up." Aden dutifully nodded and ran out of the gym, pushing open the doors with all the strength held in his (rather small) body. Lexa waited until he was out of the school building before starting to walk at a leisurely pace.

"Shouldn't you be trying to catch the bus, too?" Clarke asked.

"We're not actually behind schedule. I just told Aden that so he wouldn't talk your ear off about his favorite movie." The sun shone overhead, so bright that Clarke had to squint to see anything.

"I guess I should be thanking you for saving me from a cruel, superhero-filled fate, then?" she joked. Lexa didn't respond. Clarke shrugged and continued walking. "Anyway, who was that girl? And how did she know your name?" Lexa took a deep breath.

"We're . . . family friends, of sorts, although _friends_ might not be the most accurate term. She's supposedly a distant cousin, or something along those lines, and her stepmother considers that to be enough to make her the heir to Nightblood Industries?"

"Nightblood Industries? What, are you a vampire?" Lexa let out a chuckle.

"No, it's nothing quite as interesting or morbid as that. In all honesty, it's fairly boring. It's just a small computer company that did the right things over a period of years and ended up with a sizable fortune sitting in a bank somewhere. I don't care about what happens to it, but Ontari and her family do. I've stayed out of that, as I plan to do until I die. Ontari, she was bearable when we lived several plane rides away apart and only saw each other every few years, but she's been intent on making my life - and Aden's - something of a living hell ever since we moved here." A silence fell over the two girls, after that, a silence that hung heavy and remained until they arrived at the parking lot, the bright yellow school bus looming over the students waiting there.

"Hey!" Aden yelled. " _Lexa,_ you said that we were almost late! I've been waiting here _forever!_ " Clarke checked her watch.

"I'm pretty sure that it's only been five minutes." Aden ignored her.

"C'mon, we've gotta get on the bus _now!_ " he insisted, tugging Lexa along.

"We'll see each other on Monday, then?" Lexa inquired, slowly resisting Aden's pull as the boy dragged her onto the bus. Clarke nodded.

"Monday. Definitely." The doors closed, and Clarke could see Lexa through the dimly tinted windows, practically tackling her brother into a seat before the bus lurched to life with a low grumble. Clarke stood, watching it drive away until it was nothing more than a yellow speck in the distance.

_This can't be good._


	2. Enter Raven Reyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven plays matchmaker, Octavia owns a sword, it's all good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyone who knows me from the kumirei coffeeshop au will know that there are few things in this world that i love more than snarky text conversations, so there will be plenty of those as well.

**the literal bomb: so**

 **the literal bomb: lexa woods, huh?**

 **

Clarke: What about her?

the literal bomb: easy there with the question marks, griffin.

the literal bomb: i don't have a ton of facts about her, if that's what you're looking for.

Clarke: I wasn't really looking for a ton of facts about her.

the literal bomb: other than that she's absolutely loaded

the literal bomb: and in line to inherit some obscure computer company founded by her relatives or something.

Clarke: Cool.

Clarke: I don't really know what to do with that information.

the literal bomb: monty's probably heard of it.

Clarke: Raven.

the literal bomb: yeah?

Clarke: Why did you ask me about her?

the literal bomb: well

the literal bomb: word gets around, my pal, and it gets around even faster than usual at the beginning of the year, when everyone's talking about who did what and who made out with who.

Clarke: . . . okay, but what does that have to do with me and Woods?

the literal bomb: the lovebirds were there when the fight broke out the other day.

Clarke: Who, Lincoln and Octavia?

the literal bomb: clarke

the literal bomb: do either of us actually know anyone else in this school who could be referred to as "the lovebirds."

Clarke: Good point.

the literal bomb: anyway, O said that you were standing right behind woods when she was arguing with that freshman.

the literal bomb: why do people call 'em freshmen anyway

the literal bomb: like why not just refer to them as ninth graders.

the literal bomb: why are the men fresh? the world may never know.

the literal bomb: but about woods

the literal bomb: she's in my calculus class

the literal bomb: doesn't talk much, mostly keeps to herself

the literal bomb: she seems pretty badass though.

the literal bomb: not as badass as me, of course.

Clarke: Obviously.

the literal bomb: there's something about her that just kinda screams "i've killed a man."

the literal bomb: maybe it's the way she wears that sweater like a cape.

the literal bomb: all i'm saying is that she seems dangerous and sort of aloof.

the literal bomb: so . . .

Clarke: Raven, I'm not interested in her in . . . that way. She's just a cool person, that's all. Not a Potential Girlfriend or anything like that.

the literal bomb: keep telling yourself that, clarke-o

the literal bomb: oh crap i think something's burning

the literal bomb: bye

**

Clarke set down her phone with a sigh, hoping that Raven's house wasn't currently in flames while also hoping that the "rumor mill" (as her friend liked to call it) wasn't spinning some fantastical tale involving her and Lexa. She tried to rationalize it as purely an attempts to look out for someone she was starting to consider a friend - being the subject of baseless gossip wouldn't be a welcome start to a new school for _anyone_ \- but she knew that deep down, somewhere in the far reaches of her mind where she'd never even admit it to the confines of her nearly-full, doodle-filled diary, she was looking out for herself just as much as she was looking out for Lexa. If there was one bad thing about attending a tiny school in the middle of nowhere, it was that everybody knew everybody. She wasn't looking for attention, she wasn't looking for gossip. At the moment, all she was really looking for was her pencil, which had somehow managed to roll off of her bed during the duration of her text conversation with Raven and fallen into the space behind her bed that she affectionately called "the void." Clarke grumbled a string of swear words that would've probably made Aden run for the hills - _there I go again, thinking about that kid and his sister_ \- before getting up and beginning the search for another pencil, the words _"lexa woods, huh?"_ turning around and around in her head.

\------

**Raven Reyes (math class): yo**

 **

Raven Reyes (math class): woods

****

****

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Raven Reyes (math class): are you there?

****

**

After the third _doot-doot-doot_ of her phone, Lexa gave up on resisting its siren call and set down her book (a somewhat battered copy of _The Price of Salt_ ) to see who was texting her with such intensity on a Sunday afternoon.

**Lexa: The answer to the third question is 214**

 **

Raven Reyes (math class): what

********

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Raven Reyes (math class): i wasn't asking you that.

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Lexa: oh

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Raven Reyes (math class): dude i finished that thing yesterday.

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Raven Reyes (math class): anyway, do you know clarke, by any chance?

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Raven Reyes (math class): y'know, vice principal/unofficial nurse griffin's daughter? blonde? might've been standing behind you during with the ninth grader?

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Lexa: you mean freshman

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Raven Reyes (math class): listen woods we can talk about the terminology for the high school equivalent of a fetus some other time.

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Raven Reyes (math class): this is about clarke griffin.

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Lexa: griffin

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Lexa: so that's her last name

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Raven Reyes (math class): well that wasn't creepy at all.

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Raven Reyes (math class): but i digress.

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Lexa: i've talked to clarke a few times

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Lexa: nothing else

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Raven Reyes (math class): sure jan.

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Lexa: my name is lexa, not jan

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Raven Reyes (math class): did they not have memes where you're from or something?

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Lexa: i just don't spend very much time online

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Lexa: i know what a meme is

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Lexa: who doesn't

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Raven Reyes (math class): you'd be surprised.

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Raven Reyes (math class): but memes aside, is it true that clarke griffin /bravely rescued/ your brother from /certain doom/ at the hands of a ninth grader?

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Lexa: what

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Raven Reyes (math class): i'm just pulling your leg, woods. clarke just stood there, that's what the more "reliable sources" have been saying.

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Lexa: please get to the point

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Raven Reyes (math class): okay, okay. geez.

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Raven Reyes (math class): i'm just telling you that she's not a person you should take lightly, alright?

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Lexa: how do you know her?

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Raven Reyes (math class): eh, you know how it goes. she accidentally steals my boyfriend, said boyfriend turns out to be a human pile of garbage, we bond over the experience while said boyfriend moves away. pretty cliche story, if you ask me. in any case, we're friends. and i think she likes you.

********

****

********

** Lexa nearly dropped her phone, fumbling for a reply as gears whirred in her thoughts.

****

**Lexa: oh**

 **

********** **

****

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Raven Reyes (math class): that's all you're gonna say?

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****

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Lexa: what were you expecting

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Raven Reyes (math class): something more than "oh."

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Lexa: you've known me for a week and you already apparently know me better than i know myself

********** **

****

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Raven Reyes (math class): i'm good at reading people, woods. anyway, i need to go. i might have unintentionally built a bomb in the garage.

********** **

****

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Lexa: what

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****

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Raven Reyes (math class): bye.

********** **

****

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**

****

Lexa reread the _"and i think she likes you"_ until it was seared in her brain, the bright digital letters burning her eyelids. _No need to be dramatic, Lexa,_ she reminded herself, eventually kicking the phone off of her bed and flopping over onto a pillow. The device clattered to the wooden floor, and Lexa cringed at the noise.

****

********** **

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"Who's there?!" Aden yelled. The boy soon appeared at the entrance to Lexa's room, armed with an orange baseball bat. "Are we getting robbed? I'll beat 'em up if we are!"

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"I dropped my phone."

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"Never mind, then!" Aden ran back downstairs, still wielding the baseball bat. Lexa chuckled. She picked up her book and tried to lose herself again in the familiar story, but she couldn't focus, reading the same line over and over again until she eventually gave up and pushed the book away.

****

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*******

Clarke should have expected to see Lexa at school, honestly, what with the school only having a few hundred students, but she still found herself taken aback when she saw the other girl digging through her locker, the red sweater still draped over her shoulder.

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"What're you looking for?" she asked.

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"This." Lexa held up a folder filled with incomprehensible writing and papers neatly shuffled inside. "I forgot to take it home last week after the . . . disruption caused by Ontari. Thankfully, I didn't need it for homework or anything like that, but I was concerned for its well-being nonetheless."

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"I'm glad you found it, then. It sucks to lose things. I don't know what I would do if I lost my sketchbook." Lexa stuck her head out from the confines of the locker.

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"You draw?" Clarke scratched the back of her neck, shuffling her feet on the scuffed tile floor.

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"Sometimes, yeah."

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"Cool." Lexa turned around, beginning to stand, and Clarke quickly opened her backpack and looked around for her sketchbook. She quietly berated herself for forgetting to organize it over the weekend. "Do you need help?"

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"Nope," Clarke grunted, finally pulling the sketchbook from the backpack, a triumphant smile spread across her face. "I can show you some of the stuff I've drawn in it, if you-" She was abruptly cut off by the bell, ringing and blaring into everyone's ears. Lexa sighed and picked up her bag, already heading to first period. Clarke could only watch her as she left without even a goodbye, regretfully shoving the sketchbook back into her backpack.

*******

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_"Cool."_

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Lexa mentally cursed herself for not being able to come up with a better response. _"Cool."_ She couldn't have said anything else, not a better question or compliment, just that stupid, god-forsaken _"cool."_ The word was still looping itself in her thoughts, dipping into every corner, when she ran into none other than Raven Reyes, grinning like she had just learned the secrets of the universe and wanted to share them with whoever she happened to see.

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"Hey, Woods!"

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"Why are you still insistent on referring to me by my last name?" Raven shrugged.

****

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"It's a formality thing, I guess. You're pretty uptight, it'd be weird to call you anything other than that." Lexa bristled at the comment, wondering how many people already saw her as some kind of intimidating figure when, in reality, she had just been trying to protect her brother from a bully who was in over her head. _Most of the people in television and books and such tend to refer to high school as some kind of "fresh start." Perhaps that's true._

****

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"It's fine. You can call me Lexa."

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"Okay. I'll see you around, Lexa!" Raven flashed another grin as she hobbled away down the hall. Lexa allowed herself a small smile before remembering that she would be late for first period if she didn't hurry.

*******

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Clarke couldn't focus on any of the words written on the board that day, instead hiding her sketchbook behind a stack of papers and drawing anything her mind brought her to, which, at the moment, seemed to be Lexa's face. _Great._

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"Hey, who's that?" Octavia whispered, leaning over to peer at the drawings. Clarke snapped the book shut in surprise.

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"Nobody!" she yelped. Unfortunately, this drew the attention of the bald man standing at the front of the room, whom Clarke had secretly dubbed "Mr. Chips" upon noticing how often he used metaphors concerning computer chips while explaining concepts. Nobody particularly liked him, and Clarke had heard mumblings among the students and teachers alike, whispered rumors that grew more ridiculous every time Clarke heard them. He ran a wealthy company. He sold illegal candles. He had been barred from several states on account of potentially murdering someone. The list went on and on, and the only thing Clarke knew for sure was that he was not a generally likable person.

****

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"Miss Griffin, you aren't attempting to distract your fellow students, are you?"

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"No," Clarke groaned. Octavia snickered beside her, and Clarke shot her a glare.

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"Well, then, I'll let you off with a warning this time. If you attempt to mock me again with your . . . delinquency, I will not be as kind." He turned back to the board. Clarke breathed a sigh of relief, putting the sketchbook back into her backpack for the second time that day.

*******

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"Okay, so then he said 'if you attempt to mock me again with your . . . delinquency-'"

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"It's not that funny, Octavia," Clarke interrupted, elbowing her in the middle of the hallway as she, Octavia, and Raven made their way to their usual spot on campus for lunch, the clouds looming gray and ominous above them.

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"That's because you were the one being called out by good ole' chip-dude himself. It's funnier when you're just watching."

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"It _is_ pretty funny," Raven admitted. Clarke sighed.

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"You two are the worst."

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"Hey, Clarke, you never told me who the mystery girl in the sketchbook was," Octavia noted.

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"Mystery girl?" Raven repeated. Octavia nodded eagerly.

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"I didn't see the picture for more than a few seconds, but it was a really good one."

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"It wasn't meant to be anybody," Clarke lied, avoiding Raven and Octavia's excited faces. "It was just . . . a drawing of a girl, that's all."

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"Are you sure it wasn't Wo- er, Lexa?" Raven asked. Octavia leaned in closer, and Clarke wondered if she actually understood the concept of personal space.

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"Lexa? Who's that?"

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"Oh, she's just Clarke's girlfr-"

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"Nobody. Definitely not my girlfriend," Clarke interrupted. Raven smirked.

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"Well, speaking of significant others, I'm going to bring my sword tomorrow," Octavia said. Everyone was aware of the fact that she was probably the only high schooler in town who owned an actual sword - mostly on account of the fact that she bragged about it at every opportunity.

****

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"What does that have to do with Lincoln?" Clarke and Raven asked in unison.

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"We're gonna train on the field. Together. It'll be romantic as hell."

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"Isn't there some rule against bringing weapons to school?" Raven wondered.

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"Probably. That's why I'm sneaking it in. Besides, weren't you the one who created fireworks in the science lab last year?"

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"God, don't remind me. Abby wouldn't let me hear the end of it."

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"Clarke's mom?"

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"Yep. She talked about how dangerous it was for two hours, at least. I remember the stars were out by the time I even got out of the school building. It would've been great firework weather if, y'know, they hadn't taken the fireworks." Raven wistfully glanced up at the sky. "It's definitely not firework weather now, though. Looks like it'll rain soon."

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"That's why we should stop talking about my mom and who has the deadlier weapon and just go _inside,_ " Clarke muttered, walking a few steps ahead.

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"Geez, what's her deal?" Octavia whispered. Raven shrugged.

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*******

Lexa had found a rather secluded place to eat lunch - a spot on the roof, surrounded by hanging plants and the occasional bird. It provided a spectacular view of the rest of the school, and there was something comforting about the coziness of it all, the plants and the small platform hanging over them to protect them from most of the elements. The elements, at the moment, seemed to be doing their best to try and force Lexa from her current spot on a bench. The cold rain struck her face like a thousand tiny icicles, the wind nearly blowing her papers away.

****

********** **

****

"I'm not going to leave," she muttered aloud, ignoring the fact that nobody else was actually there and that she was really just talking to a bunch of plants and the weather. It wasn't as if she really could leave, anyway. The rain had gone from a light drizzle to a straight-up downpour in just a few seconds, and Lexa knew that the run from her spot under the platform would end up soaking her through, and she didn't fancy the idea of showing up to fifth period dripping like a rather miserable cat left outside by its owners.

****

********** **

****

Five minutes passed, then ten, then twenty, and before she knew it, lunch was over and the rain still hadn't stopped. Lexa stood up with a sigh and prepared to make a run for it, slinging her bag over her shoulder as she held the sweater over her head as a makeshift umbrella. The rain, needless to say, felt like a cold fire pelting her, chilling her to the bone.

****

********** **

****

"This roof is unnecessarily large," she said to nobody in particular, stopping in the middle to catch her breath. She reached the stairs quickly enough, wringing out her sweater and trying to stay as close to the radiators as she could on her way to class. It didn't stop her from arriving to the classroom sopping wet, shuffling her feet on the floor as she plopped down in a chair next to Raven.

****

********** **

****

"What happened to you?" she snorted. Lexa glared at her before pointing to the ceiling, and then out the window. "I know you can talk, Lexa. We had a conversation this morning."

****

********** **

****

"I eat outside," Lexa said, unwilling to really start a conversation at this point, and even less willing to give away her secret spot. "It's calm there. Usually, the weather manages to hold up fairly well, but today I wasn't quite as lucky." She bent down to find her math homework, trying to make her lack of interest in the subject matter apparent. Raven shrugged.

****

********** **

****

"Hey, maybe you should-" Whatever she was about to say was immediately cut off by Jasper and Monty's rather loud, boisterous entrance, quickly followed by the teacher and the rest of the students. Lexa sighed.

*******

********** **

****

The day drew to a close, and Clarke found herself perched on her bed, looking through her sketchbook at the drawings of Lexa - "mystery girl," as Octavia had called her. She hadn't meant to draw Lexa, it had just happened. _That's a garbage excuse, Griffin, and you know it._ Clarke tried to will the thoughts away, tried to think about something (anything) else, but Lexa's face was there, always there, and Clarke wasn't even sure if that was a bad thing. She eventually ended up tossing the book across the room, hitting a stack of old photos. They fluttered to the floor like a whirlwind of inky flower petals, and one in particular landed at the foot of her bed - ripped in half, her own younger, smiling face staring back at her with her arm around someone else. Even without the other half of the picture, she knew just who it was, and she dropped the photo like it was on fire. _If that's not an omen, I don't know what is,_ the same voice in her head whispered, and Clarke simply let it stay there, flopping over onto a pile of stuffed animals with a soft _thunk._

****

********** **

****

_Stupid brain-voice._

****

********** **

****


	3. If You're Reading This, Homestuck Is Over

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had almost forgotten the whole "aden is obsessed with big hero 6" plot point of my own fic until the s3 soundtrack came out and...one of the songs is literally called "i will always be with you" which is exactly what baymax says to hiro at the end of the movie. the 100 is a ripoff of big hero 6 confirmed.
> 
> also these are all real candle scents that actually exist

Lexa didn't see Clarke the next day, or the day after that, or even the day after that one.

"Where's the cool new friend lady?" Aden asked on the fourth Clarke-less day. _It's not an irrational thing to worry about someone you've known for a few weeks, Lexa thought to herself. I'm only concerned for her well-being, that's all._

"I don't know," Lexa admitted truthfully.

"Why don't you ask that girl with the leg from your cal-coo-less class? She probably knows."

"Perhaps I will," Lexa retorted, in a tone that seemed to indicate that she would not, in fact, ask Raven.

She ended up asking Raven.

**Lexa: raven**

**Raven Reyes (math class): what's up?**

**Lexa: if i ask you something, will you promise not to transform it into something bigger than it is?**

**Raven Reyes (math class): huh?**

**Lexa: i'm asking you to not tease me about something that is admittedly rather mundane**

**Raven Reyes (math class): as long as you don't tease me about my homestuck phase in middle school, we're even.**

**Lexa: what**

**Raven Reyes (math class): hahahahahaha homestuck phase what homestuck phase i never said anything about a homestuck phase.**

**Raven Reyes (math class, a homestuck): anyway**

**Raven Reyes (a homestuck): is it about clarke?**

**Lexa: yes**

**Lexa: before you say anything else**

**Lexa: i'm only concerned for her well-being**

**Raven Reyes (a homestuck): i'll just ignore how much of a bullcrap statement that is and tell you.**

**Raven Reyes (a homestuck): she's sick.**

**Raven Reyes (a homestuck): went home with the flu the other day.**

**Raven Reyes (a homestuck): honestly, i'm surprised that you weren't the one who got sick.**

**Raven Reyes (a homestuck): what with you showing up to calc looking like something the cat dragged in.**

**Lexa: i don't get sick**

**Raven Reyes (a homestuck): is that so?**

**Lexa: yes**

**Raven Reyes (a homestuck): okay, ignoring your supposed immunity to everything, clarke said she'd be back next week.**

**Raven Reyes (a homestuck): you should bring her soup or something.**

**Lexa: it's been approximately three weeks since school started**

**Raven Reyes (a homestuck): so?**

**Lexa: it would be somewhat strange to show up at her house with something like soup when i hardly know her**

**Raven Reyes (a homestuck): /or/ you're too much of an awkward dweeb to go over there and keep her company because you're super mega gay for her.**

**Lexa: you really like to make assumptions about other people**

**Raven Reyes (a homestuck): and yet i'd be willing to bet that you're thinking i'm a complete dork because i accidentally mentioned that i like homestuck.**

**Lexa: i wasn't**

**Raven Reyes: oh.**

**Raven Reyes: cool.**

**Raven Reyes: i'll let you in on a secret, lexa, because i don't know you that well but i trust you for some reason.**

**Lexa: ok**

**Raven Reyes: i'm not actually ashamed of liking homestuck.**

**Lexa: ok**

**Raven Reyes: are you going to say anything other than "ok?"**

**Lexa: my brother is tugging at my sleeve**

**Lexa: he's getting impatient**

**Lexa: i should go**

**Raven Reyes: lovely chat, lexa!**

_"Lexa,"_ Aden groaned. "We've gotta _go!_ " Lexa sighed and headed out of the gymnasium with her brother in tow, leaving behind the idle chatter of three hundred voices weaving themselves into one.

***

Clarke, at the moment, felt like complete and utter garbage. Her head was all too heavy and all too light at once, she could hardly leave her bed without fuzzy black blobs dotting her vision, and every time she tried to speak (or eat, or drink) her throat seemed to wail at her to stop, an incessant scratching that felt like it was never going to end. Somehow, her mother had deemed her fit for school on Monday, and she was blearily attempting to finish a worksheet while bundled in a burrito of plush blankets. All she could really focus on were the doodles she had drawn on the paper a few days earlier, of little things like Lexa's green eyes (they were nice, and Clarke admired them for artistic purposes) and a cartoonish raccoon with a red cape draped over one shoulder (the raccoon could resemble anyone, and capes weren't uncommon).

"Listen, if I liked Lexa, I would just say it," she muttered aloud, staring up at the plastic stars scattered haphazardly on her ceiling. They were beautiful at night, providing an artificial glow of blue and pink and yellow that still managed to give her a sense of childlike wonder, but at the moment they looked to be nothing more than sheets of plastic in the mid-morning light, the sun filtering through her window and making it difficult to sleep. The never-ending _ding_ of her phone wasn't really helping, either, and she eventually gave up on the worksheet and fumbled for the phone lying on her floor.

**~the dream meme team~**

**the literal bomb: hey**

**SWORD WOMAN: hi raven!**

**the literal bomb: so, would any of you nerds be interested in a study session at my place on sunday?**

**Clarke: I've been bedridden since Tuesday and Doctor Mom says that I have to go back to school once the weekend's over, so I'm just trying to sleep as much as possible while pretending to understand what's happening on this worksheet.**

**Clarke: so that's a no from me.**

**SWORD WOMAN: i'm gonna be out doing a Romantic Date Thing with lincoln, sorry!**

**the literal bomb: what's a Romantic Date Thing?**

**SWORD WOMAN: y'know**

**SWORD WOMAN: with the milkshakes and stuff**

**SWORD WOMAN: the thing people do in movies where they share a milkshake at a tiny diner and talk about their lives**

**SWORD WOMAN: it's for our five-month anniversary!**

**Clarke: God, you two are so cute, it's kinda gross.**

**Clarke: You wouldn't catch me doing something as disgustingly adorable as sharing milkshakes.**

**the literal bomb: ah, clarke, but aren't you forgetting about your lovely bride ms. woods?**

**SWORD WOMAN: the mystery girl?**

**the literal bomb: probably.**

**Clarke: Listen, I have a pounding headache and less than 48 hours to muster up enough energy to survive school on Monday, and I'm not entirely sure if this is an actual conversation or a weirdly realistic fever dream, so could we /please/ switch to a topic other than my love life?**

**SWORD WOMAN: your nonexistent love life, you mean :P**

**Clarke: Why don't you ever annoy Raven with this stuff?**

**the literal bomb: 'cause she's not worried about me.**

**the literal bomb: you could say that i'm married to my work.**

**the literal bomb: machines tend to be better than people.**

**the literal bomb: for example, toasters don't usually cheat on you.**

**SWORD WOMAN: "usually"?**

**the literal bomb: i still don't trust that bagel.**

**the literal bomb: anyway, clarke, if your mom says you're fine, then you're probably fine.**

**the literal bomb: i'd trust abby with my life.**

**Clarke: Can I go back to sleep now that I've gotten the Raven Reyes Seal of Approval for healthiness?**

**SWORD WOMAN: well i think lincoln's calling me on the home phone rn so i've gotta go anyway! see ya!**

**the literal bomb: sweet dreams, princess.**

Clarke set down the phone and tried to refocus on the worksheet, but the words swam in front of her eyes, and she eventually had no choice but to give up and fall back into a dreamy haze.

***

"I'm going to go over to Clarke's house and deliver this soup," Lexa said, holding the bowl in her arms and standing at the doorway with a voice filled with determination. An outsider might have thought that she was heading off to fight a deadly war based on her grim expression, if not for the flowered ceramic bowl carefully held in her hands. It was difficult to look intimidating while carrying soup.

"You've been saying that for an _hour,_ " Aden whined. "The soup's probably cold now! If you're gonna waste your time doing nothing, couldn't you at least do it in the living room to watch a movie with me? It's just getting to the good part!" He had a point, Lexa had to admit - every time she mustered up enough bravery to go outside and start heading for the car, some thought clawed at the back of her mind that forced her (and the soup) back into the safety of the house. "If you watch it with me, I'll go candle-shopping with you!"

"An appealing offer," Lexa mused, bringing the soup back to the kitchen. "What part, might I ask, is playing at the moment?" If she was being honest with herself, she had resigned to spending the afternoon watching the movie with Aden as soon as she had stepped out the door an hour ago, only to spend that hour arguing with herself over the benefits and risks of bringing Clarke the soup. Aden grinned, the gap in his teeth visible to the whole world (which, at the moment, really only consisted of Lexa, in his eyes).

"Okay, so there's the car chase, and then . . ."

***

Clarke didn't know exactly when she had fallen asleep (did anyone really know when they fell asleep) but the sun had dipped below the clouds by the time she woke up, her arm dangling on the side of the bed as she slowly realized that the blanket burrito had been all but disassembled in her slumber, flung to the other side of the mattress. The homework lay on her pillow, crumpled, and Clarke realized with a wince that it had caused a rather large papercut on her finger. She sat up in the bed and groaned, pulling off the covers and heading for the bathroom for a band-aid.

"She wakes!" Clarke ignored the voice from downstairs, shuffling down the hallway in fuzzy socks as she rummaged through the cabinets.

"Hey, Mom?"

"Yes?"

"Did we run out of band-aids?"

"They're in the second drawer to the right."

"Mm-hmm, okay . . . found 'em." Clarke could hear her mother walk away from the foot of the stairs, her shoes clacking on the floor. The bathroom was cold, and Clarke found herself longing for the coziness of her bed as she carried the box of band-aids back to her room. She gave a groan of dissatisfaction when she realized that the bed had gone cold in her two-minute absence, and she crawled back into it with the band-aids still in her arms.

***

The movie ended an hour later, and Lexa wiped away the tears forming in the corners of her eyes.

"If he knew that his consciousness was still alive in that chip, why was he so concerned in the first place?" she said, breaking the silence that had formed during the movie. "Why did he say 'I will always be with you' when he was actually perfectly capable of returning?" Aden shrugged.

"I guess he didn't have time or something."

"Or the movie intended to give the viewers some combination of a tearjerker and a happy ending." Lexa stood up from the couch. "Regardless, you must now uphold your side of the bargain. If I remember correctly, the mall is having a rather nice sale on candles at the moment, so we'll head there." Aden dutifully nodded and scurried outside, hardly giving Lexa time to follow.

"I still don't trust your driving skills," Aden muttered as he slipped into the backseat of the car.

"I promise that both of us will survive a twenty-minute drive to the mall, Aden," Lexa sighed, adjusting the seat. She could see Aden grab onto the cup holders for dear life as the car rolled out of the driveway.

The drive lasted longer than Lexa expected, and she could hardly feel her legs when she finally got out of the car in the parking lot with an extremely disgruntled Aden.

"'A twenty-minute drive to the mall, Aden,'" the boy mimicked. "That was at least seven hours!"

"It's been forty minutes."

"I should be _asleep_ right now! C'mon, let's get the candles and go."

"It's not that simple, Aden." Lexa headed for the mall's entrance, shoving the car keys in her pocket.

"What's not simple about it?"

"I have to consider which one smells the best, which lasts the longest, and several other factors as well." Aden groaned and grabbed Lexa's hand, practically dragging her to the store nestled in the middle of the mall. Most of the people were leaving at the point, shuffling away back to the parking lot, and several of the stores had already closed. The only one that mattered to Lexa, however, still had its lights on, brightly displaying its wide assortment of candles and other decorations. The girl at the counter flashed Lexa a sly grin as she entered the store.

"Lexa!" the girl yelled, waving enthusiastically. "I wasn't expecting to see you again after school started! Candles, they burn the brightest in the summer, y'know?" Aden tilted his head in confusion.

"What's she saying?" he whispered. Lexa shrugged.

"It's a pleasure to see you again as well, Niylah," she said, turning her attention back to the girl. "I would assume that the candle-selling life is treating you rather well?" Niylah nodded eagerly.

"Lex, you wouldn't _believe_ all the cute girls who stop by here. Not to mention all the reasons people have for buying these. 'Oh, I wanna get a candle for my mom.' 'Oh, I wanted to surprise my wide with a candlelit dinner.' 'Oh, my boyfriend broke up with me and I want a fire to keep my company as I cry alone in the dark.' Weird, huh?" Niylah arched an eyebrow, as if she was daring Lexa to disagree with her. Lexa didn't comment.

"Could we _please_ stop all this talking and just get the stupid candle?" Aden sighed.

"It's nice to see you too, Aden," Niylah muttered dryly. Lexa mumbled a quick apology before going to the aisles of candles, occasionally plucking one off the shelf to sniff it.

"Which one smells better to you, Aden?"

"'Elton John's Garden' and 'Old Books.' Uh, I don't really know." Lexa was just about to pick a different candle - Whiskers on Kittens seemed appealing - when another voice called from the other end of the store.

"Hey!" Lexa turned away from the candles for a moment to see who it was. Octavia Blake, as it turned out, was pushing a red shopping cart filled with a rather large collection of soaps. "You're Lexa Woods, right?"

"Yes."

"I've seen you around school. Clarke's mentioned you once or twice." Lexa tried to ignore the blush creeping up in her cheeks. Octavia raised her eyebrows in response. "Oh, and who's this?" The other girl looked at Aden, who was busy putting most of the candles back on the shelf.

"This is my younger brother, Aden."

"Oh, he's your brother?" Octavia bent down to reach Aden's level. "Older siblings are the _worst,_ " she whispered. Aden solemnly nodded in agreement. Lexa would have been insulted if she had been paying attention - as it was, she was preoccupied with paying Niylah for the candle. "That's why I'm here - good ole' Bellamy's coming back from college next weekend, and I figured I'd get him some gifts." Octavia gestured to the pile of soaps, slipping several into her pocket before getting in line. Aden blinked.

"Teenagers are weird," he remarked once Lexa had paid for the candles and the two were leaving the mall.

"I can't argue with that."

***

Clarke awoke (again) to the sound of her phone blasting airhorn noises in the middle of the night, and she silently decided to change the ringtone back to something slightly less jarring as soon as she was awake enough to function. Blinking against the bright light, she could just barely make out the text.

**SWORD WOMAN: heyyyyyyyyy**

**Clarke: It's eleven.**

**SWORD WOMAN: no rest for the wicked**

**Clarke: I'm too tired for this.**

**SWORD WOMAN: anyway**

**SWORD WOMAN: guess i ran into today?**

**Clarke: The ghost of Xena, Warrior Princess.**

**SWORD WOMAN: so you're awake enough to make outdated references to stuff but not to listen to me**

**SWORD WOMAN: huh**

**SWORD WOMAN: :P**

**SWORD WOMAN: i'll just tell you**

**SWORD WOMAN: lexa woods!**

**Clarke: You've jumped onto Raven's real-life shipping train, then?**

**SWORD WOMAN: i guess you could say that!**

**SWORD WOMAN: lincoln agrees with us about it**

**Clarke: Lincoln?**

**Clarke: Why is he even involved in this?**

**Clarke: Why are any of you involved in this?**

**Clarke: I've talked to her like three times, we're not exactly getting married.**

**SWORD WOMAN: anyway she was buying candles with her little bro**

**SWORD WOMAN: he's a cute kid**

**SWORD WOMAN: didn't question me when i stole multiple bars of soap, either**

**Clarke: I'm just . . . not going to comment on that.**

**Clarke: I'll talk to you tomorrow, Octavia.**

**SWORD WOMAN: 'night, clarke**

Clarke nestled back down in the covers, resolving to shut her phone off the next day.

***

_"Clarke's mentioned you once or twice."_

Lexa had made a silent vow not to overthink things regarding Clarke - regarding anyone at school, really - but it was no use. Octavia knew _something,_ that conversation had to have meant _something,_ and yet Lexa was still hopelessly lost. Sleep refused to come, and so she did the only thing she could think to do in the middle of the night - call her friend from across the country.

_beep-beep-beep_

Lexa waited, pressing the phone to her ear in the dark as Aden snored across the hall.

_beep-beep-beep_

She was just about to hang up when a familiar gravelly voice spoke up from the other end, struggling to be heard over the sound of what might have been a party.

"Hrm . . . Lexa?"

"Yes, it's me."

"I thought you'd be busy living it up in . . . where'd your family move to, again?"

"Virginia."

"Yeah, there. Isn't it the middle of the night on the east coast, though?"

"Yes."

"Why're you calling me, then? Did something happen? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Anya. It's just some girl trouble. I suppose I needed someone to vent to."

"So, your only logical course of action was to call your friend in college when good kids like you should really be asleep?"

"If now is a bad time-"

"Nah, you actually just sorta saved my ass. The dude next door was going to throw some huge party, but he must've gotten the invitations wrong or something and now half the campus is crammed in my dorm room." Lexa could hear something being thrown on the floor from the phone and winced. "So, anyway, who's the girl? Tell me everything. Please. I need the distraction or I might punch one of the frat boys."

"Her name is Clarke, she likes to draw, and she has at least two friends."

"Anything else?"

"One of the friends might be a shoplifter, and the other one tends to make things explode."

"You hardly know anything about her, and yet you've deemed her important enough for a midnight heart-to-heart? Oh, to be young. What a precious time."

"You're nineteen, Anya."

"Yes, but-" Someone on the line let out a rather loud cheer. "Sorry, I need to take care of this." Lexa could hear Anya getting up from her seat, shoes dully thumping on the carpet. "If I have to come back here and reprimand you _imbeciles_ again, I will go to the store, buy a flamethrower, and then I will _personally set every single one of you on fire._ Have I made myself clear?" There was a shuffling of feet and mumbling of agreement before Anya returned to the phone. "Anyway, about this Clarke girl. What's so appealing about her?"

"If you're asking for an entirely honest answer, I'm not sure. All I know is that she's like a magnet, some kind of beautiful magnet, or a planet that makes you feel like you're tetherless and spinning in its orbit. She's special, in some way, like a rare flower or majestic deer in the midst of a lost forest."

"Lexa, that is the gayest thing you have ever said out of all the years I've known you, and I've heard you say 'I would pay Kristen Stewart to step on my face and then I would thank her afterwards.'"

"It's late, Anya. I don't think it wise to consider whatever I say after ten to be credible in the slightest. I don't even know how well I'll remember this conversation in the morning."

"Is that a goodbye, then?"

"I suppose it is."

"And yet, somehow I doubt that this'll be the last I hear of Clarke."

"You know me too well for your own good." The phone hung up with a click, and Lexa bundled back down under the covers and tried to fall asleep.

Needless to say, Clarke continued to remain a common thread in her thoughts as she tossed and turned under the blankets.


	4. Certified Lesbian Advice™

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the mental image of clarke falling off of a bed in surprise was something that came to me in the middle of the night so of course i had to incorporate it somehow
> 
> just deliver the soup lexa you gay nerd

Clarke entered school that Monday with two cups of coffee in her hands and a glare that could probably cut steel, muttering curt _"hellos"_ to anyone who waved, but not engaging with her fellow students beyond that. That is, until Raven showed up next to her in the locker area, staring first at the two coffees, then at Clarke's backwards sweatshirt, then her bored, exhausted expression.

"What, did you get hit by a bus?"

"It _feels_ like I've been hit by five."

"Who's the other coffee for?"

"Myself."

"Oh." Raven stayed silent for a few moments - no doubt thinking up another snarky comment, Clarke thought - before placing a firm hand on her shoulder. "Well, I should be off to class soon, but I'd suggest taking a shower. You smell like you haven't bathed in a week."

"You're a true friend, Raven," Clarke deadpanned.

"I try my best."

***

_Okay. Clarke might be here today. There's also a strong chance that she might_ not _be here, but it's more likely that she is. That's fine. It doesn't matter if she's here - my life doesn't revolve around her. It would be nice if I saw her, of course, but it means nothing if I don't, and-_

"Lexa?" someone croaked. Lexa turned around.

"Oh, Clarke." The other girl slouched in front of her, bags hanging under her eyes. Exhausted didn't even begin to describe her - Lexa honestly wouldn't have been surprised if Clarke had passed out right there on the spot. "Hello."

"Hey." The awkward silence fell over them again.

"I should have brought you soup," Lexa blurted out, after at least thirty seconds of standing in the hallway with nothing to say. Clarke blinked.

"What?"

"Raven told me to bring you soup. That's apparently what you're supposed to do when a friend- er, when someone you know is sick."

"Yeah, well, Raven's kinda fixated on this crazy idea that we're 'hopelessly in love' with each other or something."

"That's a ridiculous notion," Lexa lied, trying to ignore the way her heart was beating faster than any human heart really should have been able to. "Why on earth would she think that?" Clarke shrugged.

"I mean, it's not _that_ -" The bell rang, and Clarke ran off in the other direction without another word.

***

Clarke didn't see Lexa again until the middle of the day, passing by and giving her a wave as she walked ahead to wherever she even ate lunch. Clarke had more or less resigned herself to the reality of the situation - she would remain almost-friends with Lexa, as she was now, and nothing more would come out of it. There would be _hellos_ in the hallway and the occasional small talk after school, but they would never be-

"Hey!" Clarke nearly jumped as Raven's voice abruptly snapped her out of her thoughts. "Lexa! Why don't you join us?" Lexa stopped in her tracks and appeared conflicted for a moment, her jaw clenched as her shoes dug an imprint in the grass.

"I suppose I don't have anywhere better to be," she finally said, setting her bag down on the ground. Clarke didn't know whether she should move closer or further away. Lexa felt like the sun in that moment, and Clarke knew exactly what happened to Icarus. If she tried something now, it could only-

"Hello? Earth to Clarke?" Raven snapped her fingers in front of Clarke's face. "Are you doing okay?" Clarke gave a non-committal shrug in response.

"Leave her be, Raven," Octavia sighed, turning to face Lexa. "Anyway, your brother seemed like a pretty good kid."

"Aden?"

"Who else here has a brother?"

"You do," Clarke and Raven said in unison.

"You've got me there. Speaking of which, Bell's coming home this weekend."

"Wonderful," Raven muttered.

"Is there some kind of long-running disagreement between you two?" Lexa asked. Raven barked out a laugh.

"Nah, it's nothing like that. He's just kind of . . . overprotective, when it comes to Octavia here, and for some reason he's decided to spread that _brotherly protection_ to her friends to cover up the fact that he can't really do anything about her choices and is also sorta scared of Lincoln."

"That's the thing I'll never be able to understand," Clarke added. "How could _anyone_ be scared of Lincoln? The guy's practically a living teddy bear." Lexa tilted her head to the side - probably trying to remember who Lincoln was - and Clarke tried not to notice how _unfairly cute_ that was.

The lunch period passed by far too quickly, the idle chatter and jokes feeling as natural as breathing under the warm sun, and before Clarke knew it, Raven and Octavia were heading their separate ways with Lexa sheepishly following Raven to calculus while Clarke remained in the middle.

***

_I do not have a crush on Clarke Griffin. I do not have a crush on Clarke Griffin. I do not-_

"Dude, you've been blankly staring at this equation for ten minutes. Half the class is done, including yours truly, I might add." Raven leaned back in her chair, propping her feet up on the worn wooden desk. "Did some earth-shattering revelation come to you in the thirty seconds I got up to get water?"

"I have a lot of things on my mind, Raven. It would be best if you stayed out of it."

"So your new nickname for Clarke is 'a lot of things,' huh?"

"Please stop talking." Raven stayed quiet for a moment, looking down at the paper, before springing to life again.

"Oh, yeah, one more thing."

"Does it involve my imaginary relationship with Clarke?"

"Surprisingly, no. I just wanted to tell you that the girl you nearly fought a few weeks ago might be plotting her revenge or something."

"Ontari?"

"Yep, her. She's been muttering to herself about 'destroying Lexa Woods' or something like that. Man, she's like every emo kid stereotype rolled into one. I wouldn't be surprised if every song on her phone was featured in My Immortal at some point."

"Miss Reyes, are you chatting with other students again in class?"

"No," Raven muttered.

***

Clarke pretended not to know why she felt like she was floating on a pure beam of sunshine, walking on air and almost _skipping_ through the halls. _Skipping. I'm skipping like a five-year-old, and for what? For Lexa?_ The thought didn't make her uncomfortable, per se. She liked the girl enough, she seemed nice, and she didn't have any kind of emotional baggage (at least, none that Clarke knew of yet). It was the idea of any relationship, any at all, that lead her to fear the possibility of these . . . feelings. Still, she couldn't stop thinking about the lunch period, the way she had felt with Lexa scarcely a foot away from her.

Lexa had sat next to her. Lexa had waved to her. There was a goofy grin on her face throughout the rest of the day, and despite herself, Clarke let out a whoop of joy on her way out of the school building.

_Oh, god, I have a crush. Dammit._

***

**Anya (cell phone): Lexa?**

**Lexa: hello anya**

**Anya (cell phone): How are the attempts at courting the girl from school going?**

**Lexa: what did i say last night**

**Anya (cell phone): You don't remember?**

**Anya (cell phone): To put it simply, you called her a planet, a magnet, a deer, and a flower over the course of one sentence.**

**Lexa: wonderful**

**Anya (cell phone): Indeed.**

**Anya (cell phone): Have you asked her out yet?**

**Lexa: no**

**Anya (cell phone): Do you have her phone number, at least?**

**Lexa: no**

**Anya (cell phone): Have you even . . . talked to her?**

**Lexa: a few times**

**Anya (cell phone): What do you expect me to advise you on, then?**

**Lexa: you were the one who texted me at dinnertime**

**Anya (cell phone): Oh. Did I interrupt something?**

**Lexa: no**

**Lexa: it was just microwaved soup with aden**

**Anya (cell phone): In any case, your future wife wasn't the reason I messaged you. I was going to ask if you knew someone named Lincoln. If I'm not wrong, he goes to your school.**

**Lexa: one of clarke's friends is dating him i think**

**Anya (cell phone): Oh, you've met the /famed Octavia Blake/?**

**Lexa: i can't see you right now but i get the feeling that you're rolling your eyes**

**Anya (cell phone): He never stops talking about her.**

**Lexa: what does this have to do with anything**

**Anya (cell phone): Nothing, really. I was only curious.**

**Lexa: can i leave now**

**Anya (cell phone): You're probably the one rolling your eyes, Woods. I've known you since the little three-year-old on the playground watched that badass kindergarten swordfighter destroy countless invisible enemies with her tree branch of magic and power, I know these things.**

**Lexa (cell phone): i need to go now**

"Lexa! Lexa! My soup's too hot!" Aden pointed to the plate in distress.

"Blow on it," she suggested. "I'm going upstairs to do homework." Aden pouted and followed her advice as Lexa carried her books to her room, wondering why everyone seemed to be so invested in her personal life. _At least Aden doesn't have any comments about it. He's too young to truly understand relationships, I suppose._

***

"I'm not going to consult her about this. I'm not going to consult her about this. There are bigger things going on, this doesn't even matter, messaging her about this tiny situation is only going to make it bigger, right?" The stuffed raccoon, as usual, refused to provide any sort of reply. "You're right, Heda. Maybe she'll actually be able to help. I'm sure that it doesn't matter, anyway. This might just provide some closure." Clarke squeezed the raccoon in a tight hug before digging through her bag for her phone.

**Clarke: Listen, I know that you said you never wanted to talk to me again after The Incident, and I understand that, but I need your advice.**

**macklemore: my Certified Lesbian Advice™?**

**Clarke: Yeah.**

**macklemore: whaaat, you /finally/ came back to me after our legendary one-night stand for some /advice?/**

**Clarke: Niylah, it's not a one-night stand if the only things that happened were the two of us ordering pizza and then making out for an hour in the back of your dad's candle shop.**

**macklemore: don't forget that i added my number into your phone as "macklemore" to retain my anonymity**

**Clarke: How could I forget?**

**Clarke: Anyway, that's not why I sent you this message.**

**macklemore: right, you need my Certified Lesbian Advice™**

**Clarke: So, there's this girl at my school.**

**macklemore: go on**

**Clarke: I don't know her that well, but I like being around her and I feel sort of warm whenever I talk to her.**

**macklemore: clarke that's gay**

**Clarke: She has a younger brother and she's always really protective of him, and she walks like she's a queen even though she's actually really nice.**

**macklemore: clarke that's gay**

**Clarke: Is that all you're going to say?**

**macklemore: the brother of one of your friends "accidentally" set the candle shop on fire over the summer**

**macklemore: i can forgive people for one-night stands, but not property damage**

**macklemore: especially not in a /candle shop/ i mean how ironic is that?**

**macklemore: it's actually hilarious which just makes it more infuriating**

**macklemore: you don't deserve my Certified Lesbian Advice™**

**macklemore: goodbye clarke**

Clarke shot a glare at the raccoon, still perched on her pillow.

"That was a terrible idea, Heda," she muttered. She was just about to release her anger onto the stuffed animal when the unnaturally loud noise of her mother arriving through the front door (and therefore setting off the broken burglar alarm that constantly screeched _"halt, front door"_ or something along those lines every single time someone walked even slightly close to it) caused her to yelp in surprise and lose her balance, clutching Heda as she fell off the bed.

"I'm home!"

"I heard. Ow."

"Clarke? Are you alright? I just heard something crash and-"

"I'm fine, Mom. The cold's almost worn off."

"I saw that girl from your grade today, what was her name? She's in Raven's calculus class. Anyway, she told me that she was going to come over later today to bring you soup." Clarke flung Heda to the side, and the raccoon hit the wall with a saddening _thump._

"Lexa?"

"Lexa, that's her name! She's coming over later, or at least she said that she would. You never know with kids your age." Clarke gave Heda an apologetic pat on the head and set her back on the bed, her mind overflowing with thoughts. _Lexa's going to come over here tonight. She's going to see my house. She might see my room. She might talk to me about things._

"You'd better step up your wingman game," she whispered to Heda.

"What was that?"

"Nothing!"

***

"I'm going to deliver this soup to Clarke's house. It's late, but she's probably still awake, and Ms. Griffin told me the address of the house. I have the soup, it's fresh, and Clarke seems to be comfortable in my presence." Lexa was just about to step out of the house when Aden barreled in with an oversized foam sword in his hands and a scowl on his face.

"You're doing this _again?_ " he groaned. "I'm getting tired of leftover soup, Lexa."

"I'm actually bringing it to her this time," Lexa retorted.

"You _li-ike_ her, don't you?" A cheeky grin spread across Aden's face. Lexa set down the soup and snatched the sword from her brother's hands, lightly tapping him on the head with it.

"Say that again," she dared him, smirking as Aden stared up at her in mock fear.

"Never!" the boy squeaked, picking up a lamp and brandishing it defensively. "You'll never hear my secrets, Lexa Woods!"

"Oh, really?" Lexa swung the sword against the lamp as she tried to stop herself from breaking out into laughter. "You'll tell me, young Aden, I know of it."

"You un-der-essimate me!"

"Underestimate."

"Whatever!" Aden lunged at his sister with the lamp in hand. Lexa's instincts kicked in, and she quickly grabbed the lamp and placed it back on the table.

"That's dangerous, Aden. You could get hurt." Aden pouted. "Hmm, why don't you go upstairs and try to see if you can find another foam sword? That might be less likely to set things on fire."

"Why do we even have lamps?" Aden wondered. "Your candles could probably light up the whole house."

"I'm not allowed."

"Oh." The boy skipped upstairs without another question. Lexa looked back at the bowl of soup with a sigh, eventually giving up and bringing it back to the kitchen and resolving to talk to Clarke the next day as an exchange.


	5. The One With the Pizza Dinner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's gotten to the point where _i'm_ tired of the slow burn, and i'm the author
> 
> also, quick note, i might not be updating this as much since the inspiration for it comes and goes and i have some other projects i need to work on

**the literal bomb: okay clarke.**

**Clarke: Raven? It's three in the morning on a Thursday, what's so urgent?**

**Clarke: Is your house on fire?**

**the literal bomb: why do you always assume that my house is on fire?**

**Clarke: Because it's happened at least three times in the two years I've known you.**

**the literal bomb: anyway, your gf called me three times last week asking me what kind of soup you liked.**

**the literal bomb: because of course i just happen to know your favorite soup off the top of my head.**

**the literal bomb: she's kind of intimidating, but she's also a complete dork.**

**Clarke: I've told her that she didn't need to do anything like that.**

**the literal bomb: well, she's smitten, that much is obvious.**

**the literal bomb: you do weird things when you're in love.**

**the literal bomb: doesn't make you innocent if you do bad things, obviously.**

**the literal bomb: finn collins the trash man is a good example of this.**

**Clarke: Even in my half-awake state, I can agree with that.**

**the literal bomb: if i ever see him again, i'm going to call octavia and have her punch him in the face.**

**Clarke: Why not just punch him in the face yourself?**

**the literal bomb: i think we both know that i'm the brains and octavia is the brawn when it comes to this little group.**

**Clarke: What does that make me?**

**the literal bomb: the ringleader.**

**the literal bomb: and also the mom friend.**

**the literal bomb: anyway back to finn.**

**the literal bomb: if i punched him in the face it might not hurt as much.**

**the literal bomb: octavia is more Powerful.**

**the literal bomb: and she has a sword.**

**Clarke: Good point.**

**Clarke: I still don't know why you texted me at three in the morning.**

**the literal bomb: couldn't sleep.**

**Clarke: What about Octavia?**

**the literal bomb: she sleeps like a**

**the literal bomb: uh**

**the literal bomb: what's an example of something that sleeps really soundly?**

**Clarke: A bear in hibernation.**

**the literal bomb: yeah, a bear in hibernation.**

**the literal bomb: the world could end and she'd probably sleep through it.**

**the literal bomb: you're clearly in no mood for conversation, though, so i'm gonna take this as my cue to stare blankly at the ceiling for the next five hours until school starts.**

**the literal bomb: see ya, princess.**

Clarke shoved the phone off of the bed with a grunt and tried (rather unsuccessfully) to go back to sleep, clutching Heda in her arms as the dark, blurry outline of her room slowly faded into blackness and she slipped back into dreamland.

***

Lexa had stayed away from the spot on campus where Clarke and her friends ate lunch ever since that Monday, instead choosing to stay atop the roof with the plants. They didn't make for pleasant conversation, but they smelled nice. Lexa occasionally found herself standing on the edge of the railing, watching the students run below her, barely specks from her position. It made her feel something like a queen, a powerful ruler overlooking her kingdom. Anya had encouraged her to run for the student government, an idea that Lexa strongly opposed.

_"I have enough to deal with as it is, Anya," she had said the first time the topic had been brought up. "Something like this would only serve to further complicate things."_

_"Suit yourself. I'm just saying, your weird-ass rich family's probably going to shove you into the role of spoiled heiress as soon as you're old enough to run a company, so this might be good practice."_

_"That's precisely why I_ don't _want to do it. I've told you before, I refuse to get tangled up in that. I couldn't care less about it."_

_"Just think about it, okay? I think you'd make a pretty good leader."_

Lexa would be lying if she said that the idea hadn't started to grow on her. It might serve as a good distraction, a way to avoid the ever-pressing issue of the increasingly large amounts of soup left over in the fridge, the candles she had been hoarding for years serving as her only escape.

"I suppose it wouldn't hurt to fling myself into a campaign," she uttered aloud. The plants didn't respond.

***

Weeks passed, and Clarke had hardly seen Lexa around the school, save for the occasional glance in the hallways and the sacred time they spent together in the gymnasium after school. Aden followed her around like a lost duckling, and Clarke would be lying if she said that she didn't like the attention. Aden was a gentle soul, an innocent kid who had somehow managed to maintain his innocence despite being surrounded by high schoolers every day from three to four. Clarke knew that he talked her up to Lexa, and she didn't mind that. The other girl had been taking up a space in her mind more and more frequently, wrapping herself in Clarke's thoughts like a weaver spinning a soft cloth around her brain. Raven and Octavia had both encouraged her to invite Lexa on a date, but she had turned down the idea every time. There was no need, in Clarke's mind, to potentially destroy the fragile friendship the two had forged only for the sake of a relationship (even if she wanted it, wanted it, _wanted it_ so much that it hurt).

Still, she ended up a stuttering mess when Aden stood in front of her with a cheeky grin on his face and asked her if she'd go to the Woods residence for dinner.

"You can cook, right?" he asked, tilting his head to the side like Lexa had done a few weeks ago. _Must run in the family._

"No."

"Great! Neither can Lexa! We're getting pizza on Wednesday, you like pizza, right?"

"I guess."

"Awesome! It's been way too long since we've had someone over! I'll go and check with the big sis herself, stay here, 'kay?" Clarke nodded wordlessly. Internally, she felt like her organs were being haplessly thrown around inside of her body until she could hardly stand, wobbling on her unsteady feet. _It's probably just an aftereffect of the cold,_ she tried to reason with herself. It was no real use, anyway - she had already long since realized that her crush on Lexa, if it could be called that, wasn't going to go away anytime soon. After what felt like no time at all, Aden scampered back to Clarke with a toothy smile. "She said yeah! I'll see you in a few hours, cool friend lady!" Clarke gave him a thumbs-up and glanced at Lexa, who didn't seem to be paying attention. At the moment, her face was buried in a tattered book, the title obscured by her hands.

***

Lexa didn't speak to Aden for the duration of the bus ride, keeping her grip on his tiny hand without looking him in the eye. She wasn't mad, not exactly - she knew that Aden hadn't found very many friends in his elementary school, so she thought it to be only natural that he would cling to someone he saw every day, without fail. Lexa wasn't excited for the dinner. Not at all, _no,_ she was purely looking out for her brother, or at least that was what she beat into her brain every moment she could.

"Cool lady friend's coming over, cool lady friend's coming over!" Aden cheered, skipping around the carpet as soon as the two reached the house. Lexa set down her bag and pulled out the crumpled sheets of homework, keeping her hands on the railing as she walked upstairs. Aden's cheering became background noise to the girl as she smoothed out the worksheets and began the monotonous problems, formulas and numbers swimming in front of her eyes.

"Clarke is going to be here in a few hours," she muttered to herself, setting aside the calculus for the moment. "That's fine. It doesn't mean anything. Friends, _platonic friends,_ invite each other over for dinner all the time. She won't think anything of it, and neither will I, because there's nothing to think about. It's perfectly normal."

"Hey, Lexa!" Aden yelled, snapping Lexa from her thoughts. "Should I order the pizza now?"

"Yes!" Lexa yelled back. "Make sure to tell them the correct address this time!"

"I _will!_ "

"I'll believe that when the pizza arrives at the correct household!"

***

The clouds, gray and threatening, cast a dull gloom over the sidewalk, but Clarke paid the apparent omen no heed. She had never really believed in that sort of thing, anyway, there was no reason for her to start now, especially now that she was in such a lighthearted mood in stark contrast to the grayness of the weather. She hummed softly to herself as she dug through her pocket for her phone and typed out a quick message to her mother.

**Clarke: Hi, Mom, just going to go over to a friend's house for dinner.**

**Clarke: I'll be back by seven.**

**Mom: Ok!**

**Mom: Be safe! :) :) :) :)**

**Clarke: Mom?**

**Clarke: That's a lot of emoticons.**

**Clarke: Ah, what the hell.**

**Clarke: :)**

Clarke shoved the phone back into her jacket and headed down the sidewalk in the direction of Lexa's house, the address neatly scrawled on a scrap of paper.

***

Lexa nervously paced the kitchen, circling the table set for three. Aden stared longingly at the box of pizza perched upon the counter, occasionally leaning in to sniff it. A note hung on the refrigerator, but Lexa didn't even bother reading it - she knew exactly what it would say. That didn't stop Aden, clearly restless from waiting for Clarke, from reading it over and over again whenever he took breaks from watching the pizza.

" _I will be away again tonight, I trust Lexa to find something to feed the two of you. Please try not to break anything in my absence. -T,_ " Aden read aloud in a mock-deep voice. "He's _never_ around! I kinda wanted him to meet cool friend lady!" Lexa agreed with the first statement, but she cringed at the thought of her uncle meeting Clarke. She was a free spirit, an artist, and because of that Lexa had a hunch that she wouldn't get along very well with the self-proclaimed guardian of the Woods family. _He's hardly a guardian, though, I suppose. One would have to actually be around the children they're supposed to be guarding to be considered one._ She hardly had another minute to dwell on the thought before the doorbell rang throughout the house and Aden ran as fast as his tiny legs could carry him to greet Clarke, who stood awkwardly in the doorway as Aden yanked open the door and immediately clung to her leg like a koala.

"Hello, Clarke," Lexa said, her voice even as she tried not to betray any emotion. Clarke stepped inside, Aden still hanging from her leg. She looked up at the arched ceiling and the assorted lit candles.

"Uh, nice place you've got here," she commented. "I think that Aden mentioned something about pizza, is that right?" Aden looked up at her and nodded, letting go of her leg to dash into the kitchen. Lexa finally took a real look at the other girl, and it was all she could do not to gasp. Clarke was practically radiating, effortlessly looking like some kind of goddess fallen from the sky. The moment was interrupted by Lexa's phone loudly beeping in her pocket.

**Anya (cell phone): Lexa.**

**Anya (cell phone): Please calm your gay butt.**

**Lexa: do you have some kind of camera following me around**

**Anya (cell phone): Nah, your little brother just called me an hour ago to scream about the "cool friend lady" coming over here for dinner and I put two and two together and assumed that she was the Clarke you mentioned a few weeks ago.**

**Lexa: you just assumed that i have managed to make exactly one friend over the course of two months**

**Anya (cell phone): Yep.**

**Anya (cell phone): And that would of course mean that you're probably staring at her like you used to stare at Costia.**

Lexa stiffened, nearly dropping the phone. Clarke tapped her on the shoulder.

"Lexa? You look really pale, are you okay? I think Aden's getting impatient."

"Hmm? Yes, I'll be there in a moment. You two can go ahead."

**Lexa: i'm in the middle of a lot of things right now so it'd help if you didn't stress me out with mentions of...her**

**Anya (cell phone): I could make an extremely obvious joke right now, but because I'm a slightly better person than that, I won't.**

**Lexa: wonderful**

"Woohoo!" Aden squeaked as soon as Lexa entered the kitchen. "Finally!" Clarke smiled fondly at him before turning her attention back to Lexa.

"What was that back there?"

"Nothing," Lexa responded, a bit sharper than she had intended.

"It didn't _sound_ like nothing," Clarke retorted. "It's none of my business, but I think I'm allowed to be concerned for a . . . friend." The other girl stumbled over the word _friend,_ and Lexa was left to wonder what Clarke thought of her.

" _Lexa,_ can we _please_ have the pizza now?" Aden groaned. "It feels like I've been waiting _forever!_ "

"Oh, right. Of course." Lexa tried not to think of Clarke's unexpected concern as she stood up from her chair and picked up the pizza box, tried to ignore the flapping butterflies in her chest when she set it down on the table.

Of course, they never quite went away.

***

Clarke didn't bring up the phone again, instead spending her time engaging in small talk with Lexa and learning mundane things about the girl seated across from her that seemed like close-held secrets from the way she talked about them.

"Okay, so, what's the weirdest thing that's happened to you in middle school?" Clarke was becoming slightly braver with the questions as the cold pizza crusts sat on the plate, having long since moved past hobbies and pets.

"I started a flower-selling business in the halls around Valentine's Day. It went surprisingly well, actually - I suppose smitten children enjoy giving plants to the object of their affections - but I think that the strangest thing was when a girl in my grade bought a bouquet of, hmm, roses, I think, and she immediately turned around and gave them back to me. I wasn't exactly what to make of it, honestly." Lexa looked down at the table, clutching the ends of it with tense fingers as if she would be flung into space if she let go.

_A girl. A girl liked her, and she probably liked the girl back. Stay calm, Griffin, it probably means nothing, it doesn't mean anything, she could just be-_

"We actually struck up something of a relationship, after that."

"Oh. Cool." Clarke didn't know what else to say, honestly.

"You don't have a problem with that, do you?"

"Of course not! Actually-"

"Hey, cool lady friend!" Aden interrupted. "It was really fun having you over here, but it's bedtime for me, so could you leave soon maybe?" Clarke sighed.

"I guess I'm supposed to leave, then?"

"I'm sorry about Aden, he tends to get like this after the sun goes down. I'll see you at school tomorrow, though. Maybe then you'll tell me what the strangest thing you experienced in middle school was."

"Yeah. Tomorrow." Lexa led Clarke to the door with an air of formality that seemed out of place, considering how just a few minutes ago she had been talking about flower-selling escapades. Clarke stepped out the door into the fresh air with a wave, her thoughts overflowing as she tried (and failed) to make sense of what had happened. Only one thing managed to make its way through the seemingly endless cycle of clashing ideas and fears and newly-formed memories.

_Oh, Griffin, you've got it bad._


	6. A Very Nice Restaurant and Screaming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, after a period of writer's block, the deeply upsetting finale motivated me to keep this fic going (and to pursue writing as a long-term goal with the hopes of eventually being considered good enough to write for things well-known enough to make a real difference so that i can help stop anything like the 100 from happening ever again)
> 
> anyway here's a bunch of snarky text conversations and teenage angst

Clarke practically tackled Lexa in the hallway the next day, waving and chasing her down until the other girl turned around and looked at her with those eyes (oh, _god,_ those green eyes).

"Is there something you wanted?" Lexa asked.

"Well, first I wanted to say thanks for the dinner last night. It was fun."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it. Aden seemed to have had a good time as well."

"Anyway, I was thinking last night, and I realized that we still don't have each other's phone numbers." _Well, that didn't sound weird and forced at all. Great job, me._

"I suppose you're right." Lexa reached into her pocket for the phone, only to be loudly interrupted by someone yelling from down the hallway.

"Oh, Woods!" Ontari stood at the other end of the path, illuminated by a flickering light overhead.

"Great," Clarke muttered.

"You thought that you could escape me, you human pile of slime? It won't be as easy this time. Nobody's watching us now." Clarke looked around, and sure enough, it seemed as if everyone had already gone to class. "I doubt your knight in shining armor will be able to save you, either."

"Is she talking about me?" Clarke whispered.

"I would assume so," Lexa whispered back.

"There's no time to waste with this drivel!" Ontari yelled. Clarke noticed that she was now brandishing a plastic fork, holding it in front of her like it was a dangerous weapon and not the cheap utensil it actually was. "Face me, Lexa, and we'll see who is the superior." Lexa tensed.

"I don't have time for this," she said, after a moment of deliberation. "You can take your false victory if you'd like."

"Y-you . . . you . . . you're just a coward!" Ontari sputtered.

"This is a meaningless thing to debate. What would happen if I actually fought you with that fork? We would end up sent to Principal Kane's office, tending to any minor wounds somehow contracted in the fight, and still neither of us would have anything to prove. Participate in the student election, Ontari, run against me, and perhaps we can truly decide on whatever it is you've been arguing." Ontari huffed and stalked away, still holding the fork high above her head.

"I should go to class now, I'm probably already late," Lexa muttered as she ran off in the opposite direction, leaving Clarke to wonder about what had just happened.

***

**Lexa: were you the one who said the thing about ontari planning to destroy me**

**Raven Reyes: yeah.**

**Raven Reyes: what, did she actually do it?**

**Raven Reyes: are you a gay ghost texting me from the afterlife?**

**Lexa: no**

**Lexa: but she threatened to stab me with a plastic fork**

**Raven Reyes: oh my god.**

**Raven Reyes: that's the stupidest yet most hilarious thing i've ever heard.**

**Raven Reyes: a /fork?/**

**Raven Reyes: she was going to stab you with a /fork?/**

**Lexa: a plastic fork**

**Raven Reyes: you can't see me right now but i'm cackling in the middle of the garage.**

**Raven Reyes: holy ---- that's beautiful.**

**Raven Reyes: stupid monty, hacking into my phone and somehow censoring swears.**

**Raven Reyes: "raven it's rude to call finn a --- ---- ----"**

**Raven Reyes: finn can go ----- ---- ----- for all i care.**

**Raven Reyes: anyway.**

**Raven Reyes: what happened after that?**

**Lexa: i told her to run against me in the student election**

**Raven Reyes: why?**

**Raven Reyes: that thing's a popularity contest, and the student government doesn't even have any power.**

**Raven Reyes: "oh we're gonna have free tampons in the bathrooms" at least one candidate says that every year and guess what?**

**Lexa: what**

**Raven Reyes: we still don't have free tampons in the bathrooms.**

**Raven Reyes: or an actual school nurse.**

**Raven Reyes: abby's a pretty good stand-in though.**

**Lexa: i planned on settling this in a more mature way with the students as the deciding factor for who is the "superior" considering how hell-bent ontari is on fighting me**

**Lexa: personally i don't care very much about it**

**Raven Reyes: weeeelllll i mean that doesn't sound like an /awful/ idea.**

**Raven Reyes: but if you win, it might end badly.**

**Raven Reyes: she could get really ---- angry or something.**

**Lexa: i'll take that into consideration**

Lexa set down the phone, blearily rubbing her eyes after ten minutes of staring at the tiny screen in the dark. She wasn't afraid of Ontari, not really - she was just a relative with a superiority complex, not an actual threat, but she was concerned for Aden's sake. Her brother was young, vulnerable, and an easy target overall. It would be all too easy for Ontari to hold that against both of them, and Lexa wasn't going to let him get hurt because of something she didn't even care about. Besides, she thought, there were more pressing issues to think about, such as the never-ending butterflies struggling to escape her body every time she looked at Clarke.

"A crush," she muttered aloud. "I have a crush on my classmate, this is a cliche teenage love story that seems to be begging me to carry it out, except I can't. How could I? I hardly know her. I don't even have her phone number, thanks to Ontari, not to mention the fact that this would entirely go against the attempts at a 'fresh start' that I've been making."

"Lexa? Who're you talking to?" Lexa flinched.

"Aden?"

"Who else?"

"Who taught you to be that sarcastic?"

"The grownups from your school. They're always saying stuff like that, and kissing, and talking about something called se-"

" _Alright,_ that might be enough information for one afternoon. Please don't listen to anything my . . . _peers_ might say in the future. Anyway, why don't you come up here? It's somewhat difficult to talk through yelling across the house."

"Okay!" Lexa could hear Aden scrambling through the house, darting up the stairs until he reached Lexa's room.

"You didn't hear anything I said, right?"

"When?"

"Just now, when I was talking to myself."

"Oh, yeah! I heard you talking about a crush. Are you gonna crush somebody? I hope it's Ontari. She's really mean." Lexa chuckled, trying to hide her relief as she squeezed the soft covers of her bed.

"No, I'm not going to crush her. I'm pretty sure that's against the school rules, in any case. Although I do intend on defeating her in the student election."

"You're gonna be in a student election? Can I help?"

"I suppose there wouldn't be any harm in it."

"Cool!" Aden ran off again, and Lexa was left to remain alone in her thoughts again.

***

When she was younger, Clarke had always thought that there would be nothing better than spending time at an impromptu dinner out with friends.

Flashing forward several years, sitting at a table near the window with Raven, Octavia, and Lincoln as the passerby came home from work, and she still believed that. There was something so unbelievably _warm_ and _nice_ about the little family the four of them had formed that Clarke couldn't help but revel in the comfort of it. She briefly wondered if Lexa had a friend or a group of friends like that, but quickly pushed the thought away.

"I hope they don't close this place down," Raven offhandedly commented, looking around at the restaurant. A few people milled around aimlessly, shuffling to their tables. The restaurant, despite its lively atmosphere, was hopelessly decrepit, and Clarke could tell that it wasn't going to last much longer in this kind of suburb. She didn't dare say anything about it to Raven, however. There was no reason to, after all, and the mood was just so _soft_ and _happy_ that she couldn't bear to break it.

"I don't think they will," Clarke lied. "I mean, if money was a problem, the restaurant probably wouldn't be buying these fancy new booths every other week."

"They _are_ pretty expensive-looking," Octavia piped up, letting go of Lincoln's arm for a moment to bounce against the cushy booth.

"Anyway, what's the news on your girlfriend?" Immediately, three pairs of eyes were on Raven as a grin spread across her face.

"That's why you called me here, wasn't it?" Clarke sighed.

"Why did you invite us along, then?" Lincoln asked. Raven shrugged.

"Witnesses," she said. "A few more nerds to help Clarke figure out her, ahem, _feelings_ for one Alexandria Woods." Octavia held back a snort.

"What?"

"Her name's _Alexandria?_ What kind of name is that?"

"The name of Clarke's girlfriend, apparently," Lincoln replied, rather matter-of-factly. "I think one of my friends might have mentioned her once or twice." 

"Who is she?" Octavia asked. "Your friend, I mean. Do I know her?" 

"Anya. She's in college. You would probably be afraid of her if you met her."

"Can we _please_ get back to the point?" Raven muttered.

"I'm assuming that the point here is my nonexistent love life?"

"Ding, we've got a winner here!"

"You're still not telling me what you're expecting to get out of this. Did you think that I was just going to declare my feelings for a girl I hardly know because you dragged a few of our friends here?"

"I'm just trying to help, Clarke. You joke about Finn, both of us do - I mean, it's kinda hard to _not_ joke about how crappy he was - but something tells me that he's part of the reason why you're being this hesitant."

"Or you're just having way too much fun with this whole ordeal." Raven shrugged.

"Could be both."

"I think that's enough Lexa talk for today," Clarke sighed. "My dinner's getting cold."

***

September, Lexa thought, was unbearable in this sort of weather. It was hot (so, _so_ terribly hot) in the daytime, but at night a cool breeze blew across the city streets, enough to make any woefully underdressed individual such as herself curl up into a ball inside of her flimsy red sweater.

Still, she had needed a bit of time on her own after hours of alternating between homework and working on her campaign with Aden. He seemed to be having more fun than she was, cheerfully printing out posters and attempting to find a catchy slogan while Lexa puzzled over speeches and the student government structure. She had to leave, if only for a short walk around the shops and restaurants glowing underneath the streetlights. People left the stores with piles of groceries and books in their arms, chatting with each other and humming good-naturedly, and Lexa felt a tug of loneliness in her throat as her mind flip-flopped between the plants on the roof and Clarke's friends, _Clarke,_ everything about _Clarke,_ her personality and her face and the fact that she was standing right there and _wait-_

_That's not her. There's more than one blonde teenage girl in this area. I'm most likely hallucinating because of the cold. This is entirely normal._

"Lexa? Is that you?"

_Oh no._

"Er, yes."

"What're you doing here? You look like an icicle, and I'm pretty sure that's the first time I've actually seen you wearing that sweater."

"The stress of campaigning alongside a ten-year-old with boundless energy got to me."

"Ah. You're running for student council?"

"A friend from back home told me that it would be good for me emotionally, or something along those lines. An activity to keep me distracted."

"Distracted from what?" Lexa paused for a moment. She tried to dismiss the fact that Clarke seemed to be getting closer as a figment of her imagination, the wind blurring her vision or the lights getting in her eyes.

 _You._ "The stress of school. The move."

"Yeah, I get that. The school part, I mean. I've lived here all my life, so it's kinda hard to imagine anything else, but school's intense as hell." Lexa nodded in agreement. An awkward silence fell over the two before Clarke spoke up again. "Hey, I never got your phone number. Your, uh, cousin sorta stopped us from doing that."

"I didn't bring any paper." _If she has my phone number, she would talk to me, and then things could happen, things that would make this entire relationship even more difficult. Perhaps we should just-_

"I've got a sketchbook in my bag." Clarke twisted around at an angle that Lexa thought _really_ shouldn't have been possible for any human being to do without causing permanent bone damage and pulled out the sketchbook, scribbling her number on a page and ripping it out with a flourish. _She's left-handed,_ Lexa noted to herself as she took the paper in shaky hands and shoved it in her pocket. "It's your turn now."

"Right." Clarke handed Lexa another sheet of paper, dotted with doodles of flowers and trees and someone's eyes. They were mesmerizing, mysterious and beautiful, and Lexa was so caught up in staring at them that she forgot to write down her number for a moment. "Here."

"Thanks."

"Is there a reason why you were here in the first place? I already told you mine." Clarke smirked, her eyes mischievously twinkling in the light.

"You'd laugh if I told you."

"I wouldn't."

"Promise?"

"Yes."

"Raven dragged me, Octavia, and Lincoln to a restaurant to talk about my supposed relationship with you."

"Your _relationship_ with me?" Lexa sputtered. She desperately hoped that her face wasn't turning red. It was times like this that made her wish that blood was a more subtle color, like gray, so that it wouldn't be glaringly obvious if someone was embarrassed.

"My _supposed_ relationship with you. She's kind of obsessed with this whole thing, and I'm not really in the mood to stop her from having her fun as long as it isn't hurting anyone."

"You're just playing along with her game, then?"

"Not exactly." Clarke shifted her weight to her other foot, scratching the back of her neck. "I've told her that there's nothing between us-" Lexa winced internally. "-But I haven't tried to get her to stop asking me."

"We could pretend," Lexa mumbled, barely audible among the babble of passerby. The sun had gone down, and she could see businessmen getting into their cars on their way home out of the corner of her eye.

"What?"

"For her sake, if that's what you want. We could pretend . . . to have . . . a relationship." Clarke blinked.

"You want to fake-date me? Wow, Lexa, I'm honored."

"That's a no, isn't it?"

"Yep. I'm not going to lie to my friend, Lexa. I've never kept secrets from her, and I'm not about to start now, especially not with something straight out of a bad sitcom."

"Right. Okay. That's fine." _Anyone could see the way this is heading. I need to leave now._ Thankfully, Clarke beat her to the punch.

"I think my mom's calling me," she blurted out abruptly, straining her words in such a way that it sounded like she was having trouble breathing or attempting to project on a stage in an elementary school theatre class. Lexa couldn't hear a phone ringing, but she didn't question it. "I'll see you later, Lexa!"

_This is going terribly._

Clarke doubted that her mother was even concerned that she was out with friends on a school night - she trusted Raven, maybe a little more than she should, and it wasn't even that late in any case - but it had seemed like a good excuse at the time. Now, hailing a taxi with Lexa's number in her pocket, she wondered if it had been a good idea to leave at all. Who just randomly asked to pretend to date someone, anyway? Who _did_ that? _If she was going to ask me out, she should've at least just told me instead of coming up with convoluted excuses._ Clarke stopped in her tracks. _She was asking me out. She might-_

"Hey, kid!" A rusted taxi screeched to a halt on the road. "Are ya gonna go in here or what?" Clarke clambered in through the door and tried to regain her train of thought. _Requited feelings? Feelings? God, this can't be requited. If she actually . . . felt something, for me, then I'd need to address it, and then what? It's best to just forget about it until I at least get to know her and hope that we both still have these . . . feelings, whatever the hell they are, when that happens. Yeah. I'll just wait. That'll be fine._

"Hey, this is your stop, right?" the taxi driver grumbled. Clarke nodded and pushed the door open, running for the shelter of her familiar front porch. The light was still on in the dining room, and Clarke could see the silhouette of her mother hunched over a pile of mail through the window. Jiggling the key through the sticky old lock on the door, she dropped her bag on the floor and announced her arrival a bit quieter than she usually would have.

***

"That was the worst idea in this history of humanity," Lexa muttered to herself as she walked back home with the sweater tightly wrapped around her body. "It would be a better idea to destroy the entire planet than to politely ask to fake-date someone. It would be a better idea to kill off the only beloved character on a television show _twice_ than to politely ask to fake-date someone. I was a fool."

The leaves crunched underfoot as Lexa continued to curse her own split-second ideas.

"She won't talk to me again after that, I'll bet. Who would? Any potential mutual feelings would have been destroyed." Lexa tightened her grip on the edge of her shirt until her knuckles had turned bone-white, and it was only then when she realized that she had arrived at her house.

"Lexa!" Aden yelled from the window, peeking his tiny head from the second floor of the house. "You've been gone for _so long!_ I've been making a bunch of posters, you've gotta see 'em!"

"I'll be there in a moment, Aden!" Lexa yelled back. "I need to do something important first!"

Walking to the nearby conveniently empty park and loudly screaming into the cloudy dark sky, Lexa figured, could be considered important by some.


	7. I Have Some Concerns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so here i am, still filled with rage and spite after 3x16. i honestly don't know how much longer this fic's going to be, so i might start making the chapters longer and updating less frequently instead of these short weekly updates
> 
> was anyone really expecting me to _not_ reference high school musical at some point in this fic

Clarke was honestly half-expecting to see Lexa's name blink on the screen when she picked up her phone that night after it had managed to vibrate off of the bedside table.

**~the dream meme team~**

**SWORD WOMAN: so what do you guys think about stabbing mr. pike?**

**the literal bomb: what**

**Clarke: What?**

**SWORD WOMAN: he kicked lincoln out of class yesterday!**

**SWORD WOMAN: for no reason!**

**SWORD WOMAN: at all!**

**SWORD WOMAN: }:(**

**SWORD WOMAN: there aren't enough emoticons in the world to express my anger**

**SWORD WOMAN: he's terrible**

**Clarke: So, your immediate response was to ask us about our opinions on murder?**

**the literal bomb: i mean**

**the literal bomb: it's not as weird as some of the other things we've discussed on this chat.**

**Clarke: If this is about MWA again, Raven, I /swear/ I'll go over to your house right now and fight you.**

**SWORD WOMAN: that's kinda my thing, clarke :/**

**Clarke: They had "academy" in their name.**

**Clarke: Have you /ever/ heard of another actual school with "academy" in the name?**

**Clarke: They never went outside.**

**Clarke: Jasper had a girlfriend who went there and now he hates everything because she left.**

**the literal bomb: yeah, yeah, we know, they're vampires**

**Clarke: I'll defend my position on it, and you can defend yours.**

**SWORD WOMAN: and yours is that the rival school that got shut down last year is actually a secret vampire cult**

**Clarke: You're the reason we're talking about this, O, you don't get to gang up against me with her.**

**the literal bomb: clarke, could you please forget about the vampires for a minute and help me convince octavia to not stab mr. pike?**

**Clarke: Octavia, don't stab Mr. Pike.**

**Clarke: I'll tell your brother if you do.**

**Clarke: Can I go back to sleep now?**

**the literal bomb: you know what never sleeps?**

**SWORD WOMAN: new york**

**the literal bomb: i was gonna say vampires but that works too**

Clarke fell asleep with the bright outline of the phone pressed against her eyelids, hoping that Octavia didn't legitimately plan on doing anything dangerous. _You can never tell with her, though._

***

Lexa was still wallowing in regret when she returned to school. Something seemed _off_ throughout the day, Lexa thought - lights were brighter, students walked faster, and there was a relentless nagging in her gut that told her to go home, that something bad was going to happen. She ignored it, walking through the hallways with a dignified, almost regal posture as she looked for Clarke out of the corner of her eye. _I won't talk to her, of course, if I see her. I'll just lay low, keep her at arm's distance, go back to the plants for lunch. That would work out best for everyone._

It didn't change the pang in her chest when she thought of the previous night, though. She doubted that anything would.

"Hey, Lexa!" Raven called, sticking her hands in the air to signal her. "Have you seen Mr. Pike?" Lexa grimaced at the thought of the teacher.

"He acts unprofessional whenever I pass by the classes he teaches and seems to have some kind of plan on overthrowing the principal, if that was even something that could happen, and I didn't think that your level would have him. Why do you ask?"

"Geez, you sound like a robot sometimes, y'know that?" Lexa blinked.

"I think you'd get along well with my friend Anya. I should introduce the two of you sometime."

"Anyway, Octavia kept going on and on last night about how awful he was and how she wanted to fight him or something, and we're all kind of scared of her, so I wouldn't be surprised if she actually did it."

"I doubt that she would."

"You've talked to her twice. I've known her for over a year, and I wouldn't put it past her to at least deeply injure someone who hurt her boyfriend."

"I believe that I should go off to class, Raven. I'll see you in calculus."

***

Clarke didn't even think when she started sketching a girl in the margins of her notes, the pencil staining her hands gray as she bent over the paper. She knew as soon as the details began to show themselves in the girl's face, and this time she didn't have the element of secrecy to hide behind when Octavia leaned over to peek at the drawing.

"That's Lexa, isn't it?" she chirped, gripping the edges of Clarke's desk to keep her balance as the rest of the students shuffled into the classroom.

"Shouldn't you be plotting Mr. Pike's demise or something?" Clarke muttered. Octavia pushed back her chair and smirked.

"Already did that."

"I don't see your sword anywhere."

"I wasn't _really_ going to do anything like that. Can't you take a joke?"

"At a reasonable hour, yeah, but not when every single other person on the east coast is asleep. You and Raven have been messing up my sleep schedule since I met the two of you in detention last year. How are you even _functioning?_ " Octavia shrugged.

"I'm not." The conversation was cut short by the entrance of Clarke's least favorite teacher, still giving her the evil eye whenever nobody else was watching.

"I haven't even bothered to learn his name," Clarke whispered, rapidly shoving the drawing under her desk. "All I know is that he likes computer chips and candles a lot and hates everything else."

"Is he still mad about your supposed 'delinquency?'"

"Yep."

"Great."

"I believe that class has begun, you two." Clarke and Octavia stiffened. "It would be wise to pay attention, now."

***

**Lexa: i am a gay disaster**

**Anya (cell phone): What was that? I couldn't hear you over the sound of my own already inflated ego getting larger.**

**Lexa: I SAID I AM A GAY DISASTER ANYA PLEASE HELP ME**

**Anya (cell phone): Now, what did you do this time?**

**Lexa: i asked her**

**Lexa: to pretend to date me**

**Lexa: please tell me how terrible i am and how i was a complete and utter idiot i was for doing that**

**Anya (cell phone): oh my god**

**Anya (cell phone): In all honesty, though, that's actually pretty smart.**

**Anya (cell phone): If you pull it off right, at least.**

**Anya (cell phone): It'll be either really awkward or really amazing when you see her again.**

**Anya (cell phone): I couldn't tell you for the life of me which, though.**

**Lexa: wow thanks**

**Anya (cell phone): Who taught you to be that sarcastic?**

**Lexa: you did**

**Anya (cell phone): Well, in any case, I doubt that she'll be able to resist your /absolute badassery/**

**Anya (cell phone): That Octavia girl has a sword, right?**

**Lexa: that's news to me**

**Anya (cell phone): You should fight her.**

**Lexa: why**

**Anya (cell phone): Because it'd be /awesome/, that's why.**

**Lexa: what if i hurt her?**

**Anya (cell phone): ohohohohoho**

**Anya (cell phone): /Now/ we're talking.**

**Anya (cell phone): Keep that confident attitude and you'll kick her ass.**

**Lexa: anya i don't want to fight clarke's friend i just needed advice**

**Anya (cell phone): Suit yourself.**

_That was useless,_ Lexa thought as she looked up to the puffy clouds drifting across the sky. _Was I expecting her to really provide a good answer, though? I suppose it was good to at least get some kind of venting out._ She turned to the plants. "You lot are terrible at listening, did you know that?" The plants didn't respond, as usual. Lexa was just about to start ranting to a particularly lively-looking set of daffodils when her phone played its familiar _doot-doot-doot_ from her bag. "It's Anya again," she said to the flowers. "I doubt that it would be anyone else."

**unknown number: Lexa?**

_Oh god._

**unknown number: This is your number, right?**

**unknown number: It's Clarke.**

Lexa fumbled with the phone's glowing keys, typing out a response as fast as she could with sweaty fingers.

**Lexa: yes it is me leza**

**Lexa: *lesa**

**Lexa: **lexa**

**unknown number: Are you in a hurry?**

**unknown number: Is now a bad time?**

**Lexa: a bad time for what**

**unknown number: Turn around.**

Lexa tentatively stood up, half-expecting an ambush. She was met, unsurprisingly, with Clarke leaning on the railing with her backpack slung over one shoulder.

"Hey, Troy Bolton!" she called. "This is where you go at lunch, huh?" Lexa tilted her head in confusion.

"Who's Troy Bolton?" Clarke raised an eyebrow in disbelief.

"You've never seen _High School Musical?_ It's a cinematic masterpiece, Lexa, everyone needs to see it at least once."

_"What did she just say?"_ a voice yelled from beneath the stairs.

_"I think she said that she didn't know who Troy Bolton was!"_ another voice yelled from the same place. Lexa sighed.

"Why did you bring them along?" she asked.

"Lexa, did you really think that shipper extraordinaire Raven Reyes and our unofficial bodyguard Octavia Blake _wouldn't_ head up with me to the hidden roof spot to meet with you, my apparent mysterious badass girlfriend?"

_"Are you trying to make me suffer, Griffin?"_

"Yeah, pretty much." Clarke turned her attention back to Lexa, who was currently attempting to hide her red cheeks in her sweater after hearing the comment. "Anyway, do you go here every day?" Lexa nodded, walking across the uneven pavement to get closer - _to see her better, because that's a polite thing to do. This is being polite. Nothing more._ "Do you have someone else who sits up here with you?"

"No," Lexa replied. "That's why I like it up here, actually - it's peaceful. Quiet. I can get a fair amount of my homework done."

"Oh." Clarke looked down, shuffling her feet awkwardly.

"I wouldn't be opposed to the idea of eating with you and your friends again at some point, though." _I could do that. It wouldn't be completely out of the question._

"Really?" Just then, Clarke's phone buzzed, and she dug around in her pocket to check it. "Yeah, that's, uh, cool!" Abruptly, she started leaning on a nearby pillar.

_Is she okay?_ Lexa wondered. _Maybe she has a problem with balancing._

"It's nice up here," Clarke continued, struggling to keep her one-hand hold on the pillar while looking up at the sky.

"That's the other reason why I stay here. It's beautiful, the view of the sky without anything in the way." Clarke gave a small hum before nearly tripping over her own feet and falling off of the pillar.

"Anyway, I'd better, uh, go." Clarke ran off without another word, and it occurred to Lexa that the lunch period was almost over. That thought, however, was immediately overshadowed by another that had been a long time coming as Clarke walked down the stairs to rejoin her friends.

_There's no need to deny it anymore,_ she thought, an odd sense of relief enveloping her as a soft breeze blew her hair back. _I have a crush on Clarke Griffin._

***

_Wow,_ Clarke thought. _Crushes are terrible._ She wished that this had been the first time she had experienced this epiphany, but that honor had instead gone to one Finn Collins, regrettably.

"Lexa's better than Finn, right?" she blurted out as Octavia fumed about how that had been a waste of a lunch period.

"Listen, Clarke," Raven sighed. "I didn't drag my useless leg all the way up here for you to wimp out after we were finally getting somewhere. Trust me, Lexa's a good person. She wouldn't do anything like that. Anyway, what'd you think about my advice?"

"What advice?" Octavia asked.

"This," Clarke muttered, showing her the phone.

**the literal bomb: lean on that pillar.**

**the literal bomb: it'll be great.**

**the literal bomb: trust me.**

"I almost fell down several times," she deadpanned. Raven shrugged.

"She looked concerned, didn't she? Listen, Clarke, because I'm only going to say this once - you need to stop second-guessing everything. Lexa is honestly just a lovesick puppy, she's not going to hate you because you tripped once. You'll be _fine._ "

"You're awfully confident about the two of them getting together," Octavia muttered. "What makes you so sure that they will?"

"You've been in a crappy mood all day, O," Raven said, shoving her thumbs in her jacket pockets. "What's wrong?"

"Good ole' Bellamy heard that I, uh, might've put a whoopie cushion in Mr. Pike's chair." Clarke snorted.

"A _whoopie cushion?_ He's mad at you for _that?_ That's the most harmless prank anyone could ever pull!"

"Yeah, well, he thinks of Mr. Pike as some kind of god because he mentored him when he went here in the ye olden days, so this is apparently an evil travesty or something. I didn't even tell him that this was my third choice and my initial plan was to stab the guy."

"How did he even find out?" Raven wondered.

"He's got eyes everywhere. Namely, eyes in the form of Mr. Pike himself. _Man,_ I hate that guy."

"Who, Mr. Pike or your brother?"

"Honestly? Sometimes I can't stand either of them. _And_ Bell's coming home again on Friday, so you two can expect me to be getting a three-day-long lecture about responsibilities and all of that crap. Have fun with your thankfully brother-less lives." Octavia stalked off with a _hmph,_ leaving Clarke and Raven standing on the stairs in awkward silence.

"I'm glad to see that you've finally come to your senses and embraced your aggressively bisexual crush on my classmate. I'll put in a good word for you in calculus." Clarke shot her a glare before the two went their separate ways.

***

"I like Clarke Griffin." Lexa had expected the words to taste foreign on her tongue, but instead they felt oddly familiar, like the feeling of flopping down on a hotel bed after a long trip. The classroom was empty, the day had ended, and she was alone and in no hurry to meet Aden at the elementary school. "I have a crush on her," she continued. "I . . . I want to date her." _This isn't new. Why is this a problem? Why can't I just let this go? I should probably just-_

**Aden: LEXAAAAA**

**Aden: Where ARE you?**

Lexa sighed, getting up from the desk and picking up her bag.

"I have a crush on Clarke Griffin," she repeated. "This won't end well, but I can address it now. This is progress, right?" There weren't any plants in the classroom, however, and for the first time Lexa began to realize that she was lonelier than she had pretended to be.


	8. Bellamy, Babysitting, and Beautiful Nights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: the original title for this chapter was "closet weeb clarke griffin"

**~the dream meme team~**

**SWORD WOMAN: please! help me!**

**SWORD WOMAN: death,,,,,awaits me,,,,remember my awesome fighting skills when i am gone,,,,,,,**

**Clarke: Brollamy's home, I see.**

**SWORD WOMAN: you dare make puns at a time like this**

**the literal bomb: i'm pretty sure that's just clarke's nickname for the guy, o.**

**Clarke: Yep.**

**SWORD WOMAN: your platonic nicknames don't matter right now!**

**SWORD WOMAN: what matters is that he got wind of what i was doing!**

**the literal bomb: the whoopie cushion thing?**

**SWORD WOMAN: nope**

**SWORD WOMAN: i shoplifted a bunch of soaps - FOR HIM, i might add, because he's my big brother and college sounds like hell - and he got mad!**

**SWORD WOMAN: because i did something nice!**

**Clarke: I'm not defending your brother here, but that is kind of illegal.**

**SWORD WOMAN: i hadn't even remembered that i had shoplifted 'em**

**SWORD WOMAN: it was just last month but it feels like an eternity ago...**

**the literal bomb: okay so my car might be on fire so i need to go now.**

"You need to get more fire extinguishers," Clarke muttered, tapping out another response on her phone.

"Hmm?" Lexa was standing next to her, twiddling her thumbs as Aden stood behind her. "Who is it that needs fire extinguishers?"

"Cool friend lady!" Aden squeaked, bounding over to give Clarke a hug.

"Hey, Aden," she chuckled, gently pushing him away. "Raven. She needs more fire extinguishers. You two have a class together, right?"

"She showed me something on her graphing calculator yesterday and told me that it was 'loss.' Do you think she's lost something?"

**SWORD WOMAN: my meme senses are tingling**

Clarke ignored the message.

"Do you?"

"What?"

"Do you think she's lost something, Clarke? Is she all right?"

"She probably lost her sense of purpose," Aden mumbled. Both girls turned to stare at him in horror. "What? I've heard the people in the _fill-ah-sophie_ club say stuff like that. They're always hanging out in that corner, being creepy and stuff."

_"Okay."_ Lexa said the word in an exhale, an exasperated sigh, and Clarke wondered why she brought Aden to school with her at the end of the day in the first place. _It's probably insensitive to ask,_ she thought as Aden clambered into her lap. _I should just let it be._

***

Lexa had half-expected to be seeing Clarke with new eyes after her revelation - if it could even be called that. After all, she had known for weeks. It wasn't as if she had just realized it, it was just . . . a formality, she supposed. Clarke didn't seem any different, however. She just sat at a bench, typing a message to her weird friends. She wasn't suddenly a goddess, she was just a beautiful girl ruffling Aden's hair as she talked with that infectious smile of her.

"We should go out," Lexa blurted out. Aden looked up from pestering Clarke about downloading a game on her phone with wide eyes.

"Where?" he squeaked.

"I'm wondering the same thing," Clarke added.

"To dinner." Lexa, honestly, felt like weeks-old glue trying to hold herself together, hoping that Clarke couldn't hear the hesitation in her voice, the way her hands shook and sweated with the simple statement. "The two of us. I would find a babysitter for Aden."

"Hey! I'm not a baby! I'm a grown-up! I even know about-"

"My mom could take care of him, probably," Clarke interrupted. "She loves kids."

_She's going along with this. Clarke Griffin is going along with this. I could potentially be on a . . . date with Clarke Griffin._ "Tonight? Would tonight work?" A feather could probably lightly dust her at this point and Lexa would pass out.

"Yeah, I think so. As long as you can deal with Octavia screaming about her overprotective brother every five seconds on my phone, that is." Clarke gave an infectious smirk, and Lexa didn't mind the warm feeling it caused in her chest. It was soft, gentle, like sunshine after rainfall or something else of that poetic nature.

"Tonight, then."

"It's a date."

Lexa tried her best to ignore the way her heart suddenly felt so much lighter.

***

"This is a date," Clarke whispered to Heda as she stared at the clock in anticipation of five-thirty. The stuffed raccoon didn't respond. "I'm going on a date with Lexa." Heda's button eyes betrayed no signs of caring, and Clarke eventually set her aside to try and talk to some real human beings.

**~the dream meme team~**

**Clarke: I need help.**

**SWORD WOMAN: so do i...**

**the literal bomb: is your brother still mad?**

**SWORD WOMAN: yep**

**SWORD WOMAN: "OCTAVIA, you need to FOCUS on your SCHOOLWORK instead of SWINGING AROUND YOUR SWORD"**

**SWORD WOMAN: "it must be your BOYFRIEND doing this instead of the crushing weight of responsibility thrust upon you by the unrealistic standards i unknowingly inflicted onto your self-esteem"**

**the literal bomb: what?**

**SWORD WOMAN: NOTHING LET'S TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE CLARKE WHAT DID YOU NEED HELP WITH**

**Clarke: I'm going on a date with Lexa tonight.**

**the literal bomb: wait seriously**

**SWORD WOMAN: heck yeah!**

**SWORD WOMAN: enjoy it for us!**

**SWORD WOMAN: ;)**

**Clarke: We're just going out for dinner, it's nothing special.**

**the literal bomb: clarke, of course it's something special.**

**the literal bomb: you two are gonna remember this for the rest of your lives.**

**the literal bomb: first dates and first loves are one thing.**

**the literal bomb: it's a rush of adrenaline, isn't it?**

**the literal bomb: your body's tingling with so much excitement and joy it feels like you might just explode.**

**the literal bomb: and you wouldn't mind that, because you're in love and it's the greatest damn feeling in the world.**

**the literal bomb: oh hey i can swear now**

**the literal bomb: cool beans**

**the literal bomb: must've been that update i installed last night**

**the literal bomb: anyway**

**the literal bomb: first loves absolutely suck, because you just rush in without thinking.**

**SWORD WOMAN: you know a lot about this stuff, raven**

**SWORD WOMAN: broken a lot of hearts, have we?**

**SWORD WOMAN: :P**

**Clarke: Octavia, Raven and I literally dated the same guy for a year.**

**SWORD WOMAN: right**

**the literal bomb: so yeah, first loves are terrible**

**the literal bomb: second loves, though?**

**the literal bomb: i'd like to think that those aren't quite as awful.**

**the literal bomb: i've spent the last couple of months trying to get you two together, griffin, don't screw it up.**

**the literal bomb: and believe in yourself and stuff**

**SWORD WOMAN: i'll fight her if she ever hurts you!**

**the literal bomb: you'd fight her anyway.**

**SWORD WOMAN: well yeah but it's the thought that counts**

Clarke allowed herself a small smile as she turned off the phone. The clock inched closer and closer to five-thirty, and talking to Raven and Octavia (and Heda) only helped to a certain extent.

"I still can't believe I'm going on a date with her," she muttered aloud. "She should be here any minute, too." As if on cue, the doorbell rang, and Clarke raced downstairs. Her mother had already answered, however, and Clarke skidded on the last step before landing rather clumsily at the foot of the stairs. Aden bounced inside, examining a chair like it was the most interesting thing in the world. Lexa stood in the doorway and extended a hand to greet Clarke's mother.

"Lexa Woods," she said, firmly shaking the older woman's hand. "I believe that you know that already, though, being the vice principal and all."

"Clarke's told me all about you, actually." Clarke scrambled to her feet as she hoped that Lexa couldn't see her red cheeks.

"Okay!" Clarke yelped, waving to Aden before snatching her bag from the coffee table. "I'll be back in a few hours, Mom!"

"It was a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Griffin," Lexa added, seemingly as an afterthought as Clarke practically dragged her out the door.

"I'm, uh, glad that you could make it!" Clarke stammered.

"Your mom seemed nice," Lexa noted, nonchalantly strutting ahead. "I knew her already, of course, seeing as she's the vice principal, but it was nice to see her in a non-academic setting."

"Yeah, she's a good mom. Aden's probably wearing her out right now, though." Clarke heard the sound of a table knocked over and an indecipherable screech from the porch and started to walk faster.

"I don't really remember my parents," Lexa murmured. Clarke stopped in her tracks, guiltily looking down at the pavement. "It's fine, you can continue walking. I've lived with my uncle for most of my life, but he's rarely around, so I pretty much raised Aden by myself."

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault, Clarke." Lexa's steps had become stiffer, more strained, and Clarke wondered how many people she had told about this before. "I still have vague memories of them, snippets, but Aden was only a few months old. He never knew them."

"What happened?" Clarke's voice was barely at a whisper, now, but Lexa spoke openly, as if she was challenging the world to say something back.

"Car crash. I was six, I don't remember the details." Lexa said the words bluntly, her eyes glassed over and unfocused. Clarke decided to drop the subject.

"Anyway, I've heard that the restaurant we're going to tonight is really good."

"Have you been there before?"

"Nope."

"Oh."

"You'd expect me to know all of the romantic date spots, having lived here for my entire life, but . . ." Clarke stopped mid-sentence as the gravity of what she had just said began to sink in. Lexa began to stare intently at a sign advertising half-off laundry detergent. "I mean, places to go with friends!" _Nice save, Griffin._ "Octavia and Lincoln went here for their second date, that was why I was thinking of it as a romantic date spot, but those two could honestly just stand in the middle of a forest and it'd be romantic. They're smitten, in case you haven't noticed."

"Believe me, Clarke, I've noticed. We go to a small school, it's difficult to avoid anyone."

"Yeah. Honestly, they're so cute that sometimes it pisses me off. I mean, who gave them the right to be that adorable? Did the universe try to set them up or something?"

"You believe in soulmates, then?" Lexa gingerly touched the back of her neck, and Clarke couldn't help but imagine what she was hiding.

"On some level, yeah. They're a cool concept, but I don't think that _everyone_ has a soulmate, because otherwise what would be the point of life beyond romance? It's pretty messed-up thinking, really, that we've all got this other half and we're _incomplete_ without them. Nah, I'm pretty sure that the _otherworldly forces_ just try and shove a couple of choice pairs together for all of time and they just keep on meeting forever until their souls ascend or whatever. What about you?"

"Love isn't an area of expertise for me, to be quite honest." Lexa's hand was still behind her neck, looking up at the sky as it began to turn hues of purple and orange. "I was taught to focus on being . . . alone, to remain concentrated on my studies instead of on finding something only truly found in storybooks. Of course, I didn't listen." Lexa bitterly chuckled, clenching the ends of her sweater in her hands. "I should have."

A painful silence fell over the two, after that, and neither girl dared to speak until Clarke saw the restaurant come into view.

"Hey, we're almost here!" she blurted out.

"So we are," Lexa murmured, following Clarke as she ran to the entrance.

***

Lexa didn't know quite what to make of the restaurant, to be honest. It was fancier than she had expected - somewhere in her mind, she supposed that she had marked Clarke down as someone who preferred a more easygoing place than this uptight mixture of chandeliers and people in suits, but she managed to shrug off the thought with relative ease. Clarke had that easiness about her, some strange ability to make any situation seem like a party. No amount of carefree aura could change the fact that Lexa's heart was thumping at what felt like a hundred miles an hour, however.

"Cool, huh?"

"Yeah."

**~the dream meme team~**

**SWORD WOMAN: listen, raven, just listen**

**SWORD WOMAN: if i lived at your house, it'd be like a sleepover**

**SWORD WOMAN: but all the time!**

**the literal bomb: you would explode probably.**

**the literal bomb: my house isn't exactly the safest place.**

**the literal bomb: and i already have like five roommates, even if i don't really know their names and talk to them like twice a month.**

**the literal bomb: it's one of the...disadvantages, i could say, of living technically alone but not being completely alone because of some weird construction project.**

Clarke blankly stared at the messages blinking their way onto her screen while Lexa sat down at the table.

**the literal bomb: the others are pretty rad though.**

**the literal bomb: wells jaha knows how to throw a party and by "wells jaha knows how to throw a party" i mean wells jaha has no idea how to throw a party i've literally never seen him go outside**

**the literal bomb: help him.**

**the literal bomb: anyway, your brother's gonna be gone in like two days anyway.**

**the literal bomb: i'll just help you wait it out, calm the storm, all that crap.**

**the literal bomb: i'll even blow off building the microwave made from junkyard scraps and let you crash here for a couple of hours.**

**the literal bomb: would that work?**

**SWORD WOMAN: yep!**

**SWORD WOMAN: thanks raven!**

"Your friends text each other a lot, don't they?" Lexa airily noted, wrapping her sweater around her body as a protective measure against the unnecessarily cold air blowing through the restaurant.

"Is that a problem?" Clarke clenched her fists as she slid into a booth, and Lexa quickly realized that she had misspoken.

"No. It's not a problem at all."

"Good, because that would've been the end of this night otherwise. They're pretty much my family, Lexa, I care about them more than . . . well, more than I care about most things."

"I can tell. And the one with the sword's brother? Does he mean anything to you?" Clarke laughed, and Lexa noticed the way she threw her head back, the way her teeth seemed almost pointed, like the fangs of a cat, her eyes closed shut in laughter but undoubtably sparkling behind her eyelids.

"Bellamy? I know him, he's not exactly the greatest man to ever exist. He's overprotective, condescending, and usually more than a little rude. His heart's in the right place, I think, but nothing else is."

"Hmm."

"Really, I'm pretty sure that he's going to call me any moment now, asking if I've seen Octavia."

"Have you?"

"Nope, but she's probably near Raven's house right about now. Those two live pretty close to each other."

"In any case, this restaurant seems . . . pleasant." Lexa shifted in her seat, looking anywhere but in Clarke's direction as she tried to push away any thoughts of how _suffocating_ it was.

"You don't like it, huh?" Clarke abruptly picked up her menu and hid her face behind it, and Lexa was struck with the feeling of having done something wrong for the second time that evening.

"No, it's just that it's a bit more . . . upscale, than I'm used to, that's all." Clarke peered over the menu and raised an eyebrow.

"Isn't your family really rich or something? I kinda thought that this would be your forte." It took Lexa a moment longer than she would have liked to admit to realize what Clarke meant.

"Well, yes, but . . . wait, that's why you brought me here as opposed to any other place? That's . . . sweet, Clarke, you didn't need to do that." _This is not going particularly well, is it? She isn't giving me a reason, no reason at all, to turn her down. There's something of a curse in perfection, I suppose, if you'd like to be dramatic about it. The image of her that I've inadvertently built up in my head somehow hasn't crumbled yet, but it will, and it might devastate both of us if it ever leaves this room._

"Lexa?" Clarke snapped her fingers (or tried to, at least) in front of Lexa's face, pulling her from the spiral of thoughts. "Are you okay? You seemed a little lost in thought for a minute there."

"I'm fine."

"You look pale."

"It's the lighting. I think that it might be throwing everything off a bit."

"Are you sure? We could go outside or something, if you want."

"No," Lexa insisted, a bit sharper than she had intended. "I'm fine, Clarke, you don't need to worry about me."

"Fine, fine. If you're really okay, then maybe you'd wanna hear the weirdest thing I did in middle school."

"Okay. Go for it." Lexa wasn't particularly willing to talk much herself - the realization that she wouldn't be able to villainize Clarke, no matter how hard she tried, had soured her mood to a certain degree. Clarke took a deep breath, and Lexa wondered what unexplainable secret horrors the girl in front of her was about to unleash.

"I watched all of _Sailor Moon_ in a week." Lexa blinked.

"All of it?"

"Yep. I didn't sleep at all for four days. It was great." Lexa paused for a moment before saying anything else.

"But . . . _why?_ " Clarke shrugged.

"She was kind of a role model to me as a kid. Y'know, dorky bisexual saving the world, that was pretty cool to see when I was younger even with the godawful dub."

"So you watched the _entire show_ in practically one sitting?"

"Yeah. I dragged . . . _someone_ over to watch it with me, but he left after the tenth episode without another word." Clarke's voice faltered, and she hid behind the menu again, keeping her tense grip on the faded leather as she bent down to avoid Lexa's gaze. Lexa wondered who the someone was, and if she could potentially ask Anya to hunt him down and tell him to appreciate Clarke more.

"I would watch all of _Sailor Moon_ with you," she said. Clarke dropped the menu.

"Are you sure? I mean, it's like three hundred episodes. I wouldn't really wish that onto anyone, to be-" Clarke stopped mid-sentence as Lexa, in a rush of courage, held her hand under the table, "-honest."

"I'd do it in an instant," Lexa murmured. Clarke stared at her for a moment before letting go of her hand and breaking out into a fit of laughter.

"Has anyone ever told you that you get really overdramatic sometimes?" she chuckled. "You should take theater, I swear, you'd be perfect for it." Lexa hoped that she was just imagining the heat creeping into her cheeks.

"I hate crowds," she muttered. "Running for the student election, that's one thing, but I would never be able to perform such exaggerated characters in front of a live audience."

"So you're still doing the election thing, huh?"

"I don't see any reason why not to. This is a perfectly nice school, but it could use some improvements."

"Raven says it's a puppet government."

"She ranted about the lack of tampons to you too, then?" Lexa sighed.

"You know, she told me that she ran back when she was a freshmen - er, ninth grader. Apparently her boyfriend, who was also mine at the same time because he was a pile of garbage, took the blame for some big screwup that happened and she's hated them ever since."

"Her boyfriend, or the student government?"

"The student government. She didn't start having troubles with her boyfriend until . . . well . . ." Lexa managed to connect the dots, looking away from Clarke when she realized what she meant.

"Oh."

"We've moved past it now. He's gone, anyway, and good riddance to the guy, honestly. He was gross."

"I don't particularly enjoy the company of any guys."

"I don't blame you."

***

The dinner was surprisingly easy, after that, at least in Clarke's opinion. Lexa laughed at her jokes and stories about her friends, telling her about things from her old town - Anya, the usual places she would stay, and Aden's never-ending love for that same movie.

"His primary concern about the move was that he was convinced that people didn't like the movie in Virginia. I had to explain to him that it's not something only relegated to the west coast, and I don't think he believed me for a while."

"He must really like it, huh?" It was all Clarke could think of to say.

"More than you like _Sailor Moon?_ " Lexa teased. Clarke huffed indignantly. "You're one to talk."

"Hey, it's actually a good show! Not to mention the fact that I had the hugest crush on the tall one when I was a kid. Crap, I forgot her name again."

"You'll have to show me sometime, then."

"Not before you see _High School Musical._ It's a classic, Lexa, you wouldn't believe how much Raven and Octavia have been getting on me for it."

"For . . . your friend not watching a movie?"

"Bingo!" Clarke grinned, pointing two finger guns at Lexa with a lopsided smile. " _'Oh, Clarke, how could you be_ dating _this girl if she's never even seen it! It's a_ travesty!'" Clarke wondered if Lexa had caught on to what she had just said. Considering the fact that she was now the one hiding behind the menu, Clarke figured that she had, and it was in this moment that she felt something akin to a surge of adrenaline through her veins. "Hey, do you want to see something cool?"

"I don't see why not. Lead the way, noble warrior Clarke Griffin." Clarke was already halfway out the door before Lexa had even stood up. Night had fallen, the cold air of wintertime already seeping its way into the breeze as stars struggled to be seen against the glowing streetlights. Lexa shivered.

"I'm guessing that you didn't get this kind of weather back home?"

"Not at all," Lexa breathed, retreating further into her sweater.

"Hey, do you need my jacket? You look cold."

"That's somewhat of an understatement, if we're speaking honestly. It feels as if a nation of ice has crawled into my body and won't leave." Clarke blinked.

"What?"

Lexa took the jacket.

***

Clarke seemed to be glowing, Lexa thought, pointing out places she had enjoyed going to when she was younger and places she had never been to.

"You really like it here, don't you?" Lexa murmured. Clarke shrugged.

"It gets a little stifling, sometimes, living in the same place my whole life. I don't plan on staying when I go off to college, but I'll miss it."

"You have plans for college already?" Lexa had tried to put off thoughts of it for as long as she possibly could.

"Art school. That's really all I care about, that it's an art school. Anyway, I think we're at just the right spot."

"Wait, the right spot for _wha-_ " Clarke had taken hold of Lexa's hand again, racing up the stairs of a plain-looking building with a grin on her face. The stars twinkled in the sky, blurry spots of light as Lexa squinted her eyes against the wind.

"We're here!" Clarke announced with a flourish, gesturing to the top of a crumbling outdoor parking lot.

"No offense, Clarke, but I don't see anything particularly special about it," Lexa deadpanned.

"You have to look closer." Clarke's voice softened as she gently led Lexa to the railing at the edge, gazing down at the people wandering through town below. "It's hard to see the beauty in it at first, I know, but it's there." Lexa stared down, and it was only when the streetlights began to turn on in such a way that the pavement seemed to be practically radiant, bathed in a soft glow - much like Clarke herself, she realized - that she understood what the other girl meant.

"It's beautiful," she breathed.

"Mm-hmm," Clarke hummed. "I figured that you'd like it. It's a pretty good place for stargazing, too."

"Thank you, Clarke." Lexa was barely inches away from her, now, so close that she could feel Clarke's breath against the cold air, and _no,_ she _couldn't,_ not after Costia, not after everything she had been taught, but the air was so _right_ and the atmosphere so _perfect_ that it would be a crime not to kiss her in this very moment, and Clarke was just about to close her lips against Lexa's own when a rather loud rendition of what sounded like _Bring Me To Life_ screeched by several children blared from Clarke's pocket.

"Crap, it's _him,_ " Clarke muttered.

"Ontari listens to that song sometimes," Lexa idly noted, attempting to mask her disappointment as she looked away. "Who's _him?_ "

"Octavia's brother. Here, look." Clarke held the phone up to Lexa's face, and she had to blink to adjust to the sudden artificial glow.

**baker barney bloke: PHONE won't find YOUNGER SISTER who is GONE she is GONE I AM WORRIED HELP**

**baker barney bloke: HOW do you USE a PHONE to TEXT YOUR PALS HELP?**

**baker barney bloke: ...wait this isn't google...**

**baker barney bloke: oh clarke!**

**baker barney bloke: Hello.**

**baker barney bloke: i...apologize...for that...**

**Clarke: She's away with a friend.**

**baker barney bloke: wHO?**

"I didn't know that her brother was a baker," Lexa said, mildly concerned for the man on the other end of the line.

"He's not," Clarke chuckled. "It's, uh, kind of an inside joke between me and O."

"Why?"

"Well, for starters-" Clarke was cut off by another string of badly singing children from her phone.

**baker barney bloke: i didn't KNOW that i would've set the candle shop on FIRE, clarke, maybe if you had BEEN THERE,**

"Wait, he set a candle shop on fire?" Lexa asked.

"Yep. It got _way_ more awkward after he found out that I had very briefly dated the girl who worked there."

"How briefly?"

"An hour."

"Oh. That's somewhat weird, there must be more candle shops around here than I thought. I know a girl who works at a nearby one too."

"No, there's only one within a twenty-mile radius, candles aren't exactly in high demand around here." Realization dawned on Clarke's face as Octavia's brother continued to send what looked like increasingly agitated texts.

"Niylah!" Clarke and Lexa both yelled.

"Wait, _you_ were her extremely mysterious and tragic one-night stand?" Lexa asked, now vaguely accustomed to Clarke's ringtone.

"Oh, god, is that what she told you?" Clarke groaned. "We ordered takeout and kissed a few times, that's it."

"She's not bad company, to be honest. She's really been one of the nicest people I've met here, aside from you and Raven. I would trust her."

"Yeah, well, Bellamy set the shop on fire 'by accident' so now she kinda has a grudge against our whole friend group."

"How do you _accidentally_ do something like that?"

"The same way that characters on TV commit really bad crimes and then get forgiven for them two episodes later, I guess."

"That makes sense."

**baker barney bloke: is she at LINCOLN'S?**

**baker barney bloke: CLARKE, please, i NEED YOU**

**Clarke: Octavia can take care of herself, she's close by, don't worry.**

**baker barney bloke: but what if she gets hurt?**

**Clarke: She won't, and if she does, I'll take full responsibility.**

**Clarke: Deal?**

**baker barney bloke: ...deal**

"Sorry about that," Clarke chuckled. "I guess he, uh, put a bit of a dent in our date night, huh?"

"Yeah." _I can't. I can't do this, I can't, this must have been a sign that I absolutely cannot do this._ "I need to leave," Lexa blurted out abruptly, stiffly walking off in the opposite direction. "It's getting late."

"Lexa, your brother's still at my mom's house."

"Oh. Right."

***

The walk back to the house was filled with silence, and Lexa gave Clarke her jacket back halfway through despite the cold biting at her exposed, mitten-less hands and creeping through her flimsy sweater. Clarke knew better than to ask questions about what had happened atop the building, but that didn't stop her insides from flip-flopping around every time she thought of how _close_ she and Lexa had been, how desperately she had wanted to slip into her embrace. It was tantalizing, cruel, how close they had been. She didn't know if Lexa felt the same way, however, and some part of her was afraid to find out. It was a relief for both of them when they reached Clarke's house, where Aden was eagerly bouncing on the porch with a tired-looking Abby in tow.

"Hi, Mom," Clarke said. "How was Aden?"

"He's got a lot of energy," her mother yawned. "I remember when you were like that, Clarke. All . . . young and excited."

"Thank you for taking care of him, Ms. Griffin," Lexa added. "Aden, what do you say to the nice lady?"

"Thank you!" Aden squeaked, bounding down the porch to fling himself into Lexa's arms. "This was really fun, we've gotta do it again sometime! Cool friend lady, your mom's awesome!"

"She is," Clarke chuckled. "I'll see you later, Lexa, okay?" Lexa curtly nodded before walking off to find a taxi. Abby quirked an eyebrow. "Okay, what now?"

***

The taxi ride home, despite being only a few minutes, felt like an eternity.

"Cool friend lady's mom is super nice, Lexa," Aden chirped. "You've gotta go on more dinner playdates with her, so we can hang out more and stuff. Of course, I wanna hang out with cool friend lady too, but y'know!"

"I don't," Lexa sighed. "I'm sorry, Aden, but do you think you could try and lower your voice a bit? I have a headache."

"Oh, a friend from school taught me a cure for that. Pain, pain, go away!" Aden tapped on Lexa's leg three times in succession before spreading his arms as far as they could go in the cramped space of the taxi.

"Thank you, Aden," Lexa murmured. "I don't think that'll be enough, though."

***

"You have a crush on her, don't you?" Clarke resisted the urge to slam her face against the wall.

"Mom, please, it's late and-"

"You're looking at her like she's the moon and you're the stars, Clarke, and I know my own daughter better than I know anyone else. You like her." Abby stated it like a fact, an indisputable argument that couldn't be gone against.

"I'll talk about it with you in the morning, okay? Tomorrow's Saturday, we can have one of those mother-daughter feelings talks or something." Clarke made her way upstairs with heavy feet, halfheartedly waving to her mother as she did so.

"I'll be looking forward to it!" Abby called. Somewhere in the far reaches of her mind, Clarke thought about how cliche it was to flop herself onto her bed and scream into a pillow, and she wondered if Lexa was doing the same, wherever she was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> baker barney bloke is the wonderful creation of lexacares on tumblr


	9. Sing Us A Song (You're The Piano Man)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> high school musical is a treasure

Lexa remained unmoving in her bed the next morning, tightly wrapped underneath her covers with a thousand thoughts running through her brain.

_I almost kissed Clarke Griffin last night. Clarke Griffin almost kissed me last night. If it hadn't been for that baker, we would have kissed. I can't talk to her about it, because it's fairly likely that I misjudged the situation to such a degree that talking about it could prove disastrous._ Light had started to stream through the window, and Lexa pulled the covers over her head to block it out. _I can't ever mention it, because it could cause a misunderstanding, and then Raven would probably stop talking to me as well, and knowing my luck Niylah would somehow go away after that._ Lexa had gained enough energy to wriggle around, now, and she covered her ears with her hands as if that could block out the thoughts. _Anya's busy, too. I can't risk this, I can't risk losing everyone._ If she had been just a tad more awake, Lexa would have chided herself for being so dramatic. As she was, however, all she could focus on were worst-case scenarios screeching themselves at her with such ferocity that she tried to go back to sleep, just to get the thoughts to go _away._

They didn't.

_"Lexa!"_ Aden was standing in the entrance to her room with an action figure in his hand, full of energy despite the early hour. _How early was it, in any case?_ "It's almost _noon,_ aren't you gonna wake up?" Lexa stiffened.

"It's . . . noon?"

"Almost noon, yep!" Lexa flung the covers off of her bed, dashing out of her room as the blanket fluttered down on Aden's head. "Hey, what's the big rush?"

"Homework," Lexa replied as she ran downstairs. "I need to get a head start on homework, the date- the _dinner_ with Clarke last night cut a significant chunk out of my work time, and on top of the student election . . ." She trailed off. Aden, now wearing Lexa's blanket around his shoulders like a superhero's cape, shrugged innocently.

"You'll be okay!" he chirped. "Homework's not that scary, is it?"

"The youth live in such bliss," Lexa muttered. _I'm starting to sound like Anya._

"Anyway, I'm gonna go and watch TV." Aden strutted off, still wearing the blanket and humming a theme song from something Lexa thought that she might've watched in passing when she was younger.

***

Clarke woke up at the crack of dawn that morning, hoping to get as much as physically possible done before the mother-daughter feelings talk took place. The previous night with Lexa felt like it had happened a million years ago already. Clarke desperately wished to hold onto it, and this could only mean one thing for her morning - it was going to be filled with at least twenty drawings. Sitting up in her bed with Heda squashed between the blankets and the wall, she flipped through the closest sketchbook until she found a blank page and got to work.

Yet, as hard as she tried, it was impossible for Clarke to focus on drawing, and it was even more difficult to capture Lexa's features. Something always felt _off,_ and Clarke hated it. She couldn't get her eyes, or that small smile, or the way she used that red sweater as a suit of armor more than anything.

After what felt like an hour, Clarke gave up drawing Lexa entirely and instead decided to focus on the nearest subject, which happened to be Heda. She propped up the stuffed raccoon, loosely sketching her familiar cartoonish outline. Heda had been a present from a distant relative when Clarke was too young to remember the event. The stuffed raccoon was a constant companion, even if she was never much for conversation. In any case, she had helped Clarke out of many an art block, and today didn't seem to be any different.

"Was it the _Sailor Moon_ thing?" she muttered aloud as she started to draw Heda's fluffy tail. "Was it because I tried to kiss her? I must've thought that she wanted to when she was just being nice about my stupid parking lot. I'm an idiot, aren't I? I probably scared her off, I'm such an idiot, of _course_ she isn't-"

"You're not an idiot," a voice called from the other room. "But you _are_ loud." Clarke sighed.

"Mom?"

"Yeah?"

"Could we maybe . . . postpone the mother-daughter feelings talk for a bit? I'm not feeling too great right now."

"That's fine, honey, as long as you quiet down a bit and let me sleep."

"Deal."

***

_beep-beep-beep_

"Anya?" Lexa awaited a response with baited breath.

_beep-beep-beep_

"Anya, are you there?" _Nothing. Of course she wouldn't respond, of course-_

_beep-beep-beep_

"Anya, I need-"

"Lexa? It's really early, remember the damn timezones." Lexa looked at the clock.

"It's eleven where you are."

"Time functions differently when you're in college. Anyway, what'd you wanna talk about?"

"Clarke."

"Oh, yeah, her. How's she?"

"Well, there's a fair chance that she doesn't return my feelings and I've made a complete fool of myself, so I think she's doing well. As for myself-"

"Don't finish, I already know what you'll say. 'Oh, I've destroyed every single chance of happiness in my life ever.' Listen, Lexa, you'll be _fine._ If this Clarke girl doesn't return your feelings, then screw her! She sucks! Anyone would be an idiot to not fall for you, you're great! You're an absolute nerd who can't play chess or remain at a party for more than half an hour before passing out, but you're great. Believe in yourself, kiddo. You can't tell, but I'm sending you a virtual affirmative clap on the shoulder. Right now, as I'm saying this, I am affectionately patting this bed as if it's your shoulder."

"Thank you, Anya."

"Don't mention it. My roommates are almost awake now, so I'd better run. Good luck on the crush situation!" Lexa could hear the sound of Anya's phone clattering to the ground as she presumably stomped over to her roommates. " _Listen,_ you asshats, if at least one of you could just _replenish the milk_ for once, instead of selling it all to the fraternities, then maybe we wouldn't be out of milk, but guess what? None of you ever do that, you just slack off and throw parties that _I_ have to clean up, and for what? What do you ever give me in return, huh? Honestly, I could just-"

"Anya? You didn't hang up the phone."

"Crap. Okay. Bye." Anya hung up with a _click,_ and Lexa was once again left alone with a pile of homework and no idea how to face Clarke.

***

As it turned out, the mother-daughter feelings talk never came to fruition. After several hours of sitting alone in her room with Heda and quite a few text conversations, Clarke had finally mustered up the determination to go downstairs and tell her mother about the extent of her feelings for Lexa, only to find the house eerily silent.

"Hello?" she whispered. "Is anyone there? Mom? Mom, have you been kidnapped?" Clarke was greeted not by a kidnapper, but by a note stuck to the fridge with a chipped magnet, scrawled in pen.

_C-_

_emergency at ark! pipe burst, vp needs to be there. food is in the fridge. love u._

_-mom_

Clarke smiled at the note before turning to the crumpled worksheets sticking out of her backpack.

"Great," she muttered. "This is just great."

"What's just great?" Clarke let out a sound something along the lines of _"yeek!"_

"Who's there? Is it the kidnapper?"

"Geez, relax. It's just me." Raven stood at the window, the same grin on her face as always, as Octavia trailed behind her. "Abby said that you might be kinda lonely and 'struggling with your emotions' so she asked me if I could come over! I figured that I should bring O, too, since she's, uh, what'd you say earlier?"

"Had enough of my brother to last a lifetime," Octavia muttered. "I know he cares, deep down, but he's really just a butt most of the time."

"If we're going to talk about stuff, could you two . . . maybe come inside? It's hard to talk like this." Octavia seemed to take that as a cue to jump through the open window directly into the kitchen, bowing to an invisible audience when she landed.

"I'll just take the front door," Raven said. "Leg. Doesn't do well with being flung through people's windows. Clarke nodded in understanding as Raven shuffled around the house to get to the door.

"Boring!" Octavia set her sword down on the kitchen table and grabbed a Pop-Tart from the nearest cabinet. Raven opened the heavy wooden door across the house, carrying a pile of seemingly disjointed parts in a backpack. "Can your microwave do _this?_ " The younger girl tossed the Pop-Tart in the air and sliced it in half.

"Pointless, but admittedly pretty cool," Clarke noted. Octavia took a bow again.

"Don't fuel her ego," Raven muttered.

"That's a microwave, then?" Clarke asked, pointing to the heap of metal.

"It will be. The landlord said I'm not allowed to build anything that could explode anymore, so-"

"So, your response was to build something that functions on _nuclear energy_?"

"Yep!" Raven practically beamed with pride. "Technically, anything can explode if you mess with it enough, that's what I told the guy, so now I'm trying to make this thing in an attempt to save money on an actual microwave. It's sort of a pet project."

"Does it work?"

"Not yet. I still need a bunch of stuff, and _hey,_ do you by any chance need that egg beater?"

"Probably."

"Dammit."

"Raven, you promised that we'd be stand-in moms," Octavia piped up. "What'd you mean by that?" Clarke slid into a chair and groaned.

"Oh, boy."

"It _means,_ " Raven said in a sing-song voice, looping her arm around Clarke, "that Clarke's going to tell us about her _date_ with Lexa."

"Oh, right. Her. I had kinda forgotten about that in the midst of the whole ordeal with Bell."

"It wasn't a date," Clarke muttered.

"Are you _sure?_ " Raven teased, dragging out the word _sure_ as if she was the host of a game show. "From what Abby's told me, it fit everything you need to consider it a date." Clarke would have spat out her drink if she had been drinking anything.

"My mom told you about my date?"

"Well, yeah, but you just admitted that it was a date anyway, so I guess that doesn't matter."

"It's too early for this, Raven."

"It's two-thirty."

"My point still stands."

"Okay, fine, I'll tell you what happened." Raven perked up, leaning forward in her chair. "We went to dinner, I showed her the nice view from the parking lot, and then we went home. That's all that happened."

"You wouldn't have been so mopey if it had just been as simple as that," Octavia pointed out.

"How do you know that?"

"Raven told me on the way over."

"How much did my mom tell you?" Clarke asked Raven through gritted teeth. Raven shrugged.

"Everything she knew, which admittedly wasn't much. You went out with Lexa, left her brother here, and then came back in a bad mood and hardly said anything to her this morning. Pretty basic stuff." Octavia sliced another Pop-Tart in half as Raven dropped her microwave-in-progress onto the table. It was in that moment that Clarke realized that perhaps being so secretive wasn't helping anyone.

"I messed up," she muttered, almost too quiet to hear.

"Well, that'd explain the early-morning drawing session Abby told me about. You don't usually have those unless something's stressing you out."

"I almost kissed her, and then Bellamy texted me and she started acting awkward and then we talked about Niylah from the candle shop and-"

Octavia, having given up on her pastry-fighting endeavors, patted Clarke on the shoulder.

"My brother's a complete moron," she murmured solemnly. "I completely understand."

"I still don't know why you're worrying about this so much," Raven added. "Lexa won't hate you forever because the two of you almost kissed. Here, I'll even text her right now."

"Please don't do that."

"Too late." Raven held up her phone with a triumphant smirk.

"Raven, don't you _dare-_ "

"Octavia?" Octavia perked up upon hearing her name.

"Yeah?"

"Could you hold her back? I need to text her _one true love._ " Clarke suddenly found herself being lifted in the air by someone half her size, the breath knocked out of her by the sudden movement. "Don't worry, Clarke," Raven sighed. "I'm not gonna say anything embarrassing."

"I don't believe you," Clarke countered, struggling to be released from Octavia's iron grip and managing to snatch the phone for only a second before Raven got it back.

***

**Raven Reyes: hi lexa.**

Lexa turned at the sound of the _doot-doot-doot,_ wondering who could be texting her in the middle of the day. _It's Clarke, isn't it? It must be Clarke, she's probably telling me that last night was merely a fluke and she doesn't want to see me again._ Lexa took a deep breath before picking up the phone, only to see about a dozen messages that seemed to get more and more garbled.

**Raven Reyes: listen i don't wanna**

**Raven Reyes: Kdmcms e**

**Raven Reyes: seem weird or**

**Raven Reyes: anything**

**Raven Reyes: but clarke told me**

**Raven Reyes: N O she DIDN'T lexa stop reading this plz**

**Raven Reyes: that you two**

**Raven Reyes: did nothing! have a nice day nerd**

**Raven Reyes: hung out with her last night.**

Lexa twiddled her thumbs as she waited for the stream of messages to stop, wondering what was exactly happening with Raven at the moment.

**Lexa: i did**

**Raven Reyes: ok so just LISTEN**

**Raven Reyes: i'm hiding in clarke's bathroom saying this right now and she's only being held off by our tiny yet muscular mutual friend.**

**Raven Reyes: so, i'll just say it without any more introduction.**

**Raven Reyes: don't you dare hurt her.**

***

"I'm done!" Raven called. "Clarke, I promise I didn't write anything bad, so you don't have to kill me. Octavia, you can stop suplexing her now." Octavia set Clarke down as one would with a rather clingy cat.

"Okay, Raven, you've done enough snooping for one day, could we maybe . . . do something else now? Please?"

"Yeah, I'm with Clarke on this one," Octavia said. "It's not easy to hold someone up for that long, you know. I'd rather do setting soft and relaxing now."

"You didn't _need_ to be carrying me," Clarke muttered.

" _High School Musical_!" Raven blurted out, fanning the air as if to distill any tension that had formed. "Why don't we watch _High School Musical_ tonight? Maybe it'd, uh, help us all calm down a bit."

"Fine," Clarke and Octavia muttered. Raven left her phone on the coffee table, Lexa's replies flooding the screen.

***

**Lexa: raven**

**Lexa: raven i promise i won't hurt her but it's difficult to hurt someone when they're presumably ignoring you**

**Lexa: raven where are you**

**Lexa: i don't know what you meant**

**Lexa: promises are supposed to go both ways**

**Lexa: promises are meant to be taken together**

**Lexa: i don't doubt that i'd give up everything for her at some point in the foreseeable future**

**Lexa: but right now i can't even muster up the courage to call her**

**Lexa: you're the person expert**

**Lexa: not me**

Lexa set down her phone with a sigh, the sun having long since gone down. The stack of homework hadn't seemed to grow any smaller, and Lexa was no less stressed then she had been at the beginning of the day. She couldn't talk to Clarke, it could go terribly, and Raven wasn't responding. Aden excitedly jumped around the house in anticipation of the newest episode of his favorite show, but Lexa had placed herself in self-imposed exile in the dining room, blankly staring at equations until they swam in front of her eyes.

"I'm going to do it," she muttered. "I'm going to call Clarke." Picking up her phone and clicking on Clarke's name with the intensity of a war general about to charge into a decisive battle, Lexa tensely awaited Clarke's response as the infuriating _beep-beep-beep_ of her phone seemed to fill up the entire dining room, swirling around her until it felt as if it had engulfed every single one of her senses.

"Clarke?" She wasn't going to let desperation creep into her voice, she _couldn't._

"Clarke, are you there?"

"Lexa?" Aden's excited yelling was the only thing tethering Lexa to reality. This, she thought somewhere in the deepest corners of her mind, might have been the reason why she didn't register Clarke's voice at first. "Lexa, is that you?"

"Oh, yes, Clarke. It's me. Lexa. From school." _That was terrible._ "Would it be alright if I went to your house?" _That was even more terrible._ "There are some . . . things that I would prefer to talk with you about in person."

"Raven and Octavia are here, it wouldn't exactly be the most-"

"That's fine," Lexa interrupted, afraid of losing the courage she had mustered up if she refused anything at this point. "I'll be right over there."

"Cool friend lady?" Aden squeaked. Lexa hadn't even noticed that he was there.

"How did you know that I was talking to Clarke?" Lexa asked, weakly attempting to mask the suspicion in her voice.

"Your voice gets all soft and mushy and stuff," Aden replied matter-of-factly. "Usually, when you're around other grown-ups, your voice is hard and kinda scary, but whenever you're talking to her, it's like a teddy bear, but it's a voice. Sounds kinda weird, saying it like that, but you sound weird around her, so I guess it's even." Aden shrugged and scampered away.

"Aden!" Lexa called.

"Yeah?"

"Do you think you'd be able to handle yourself for a few hours?" Aden's face lit up, and Lexa could practically see the cartoonish stars twinkling in his eyes.

"You mean you're letting me stay _home alone?_ "

"Yes, Aden. You'll call me if there's any trouble, though, alright? And if I send you a text, you need to respond immediately."

"Yes, ma'am!" Aden chirped, dutifully nodding,

"I'll be back in a little while, then." Lexa felt a sense of urgency creep up her spine as she grabbed her bag from the table, pulled on her sweater, and ran out the door for the first time that day. It was cold, the wind nipping at her exposed hands, but she didn't care. There was something exhilarating and terrifying about high school crushes, tiny things that could go everywhere or nowhere. In any case, it was enough to fill her with the determination to drive all the way to Clarke's house, the car tense and silent as she focused on the darkening road.

"She's with her friends," Lexa spoke aloud to the too-empty car, keeping her white-knuckled grip on the steering wheel. "Most likely, we'll have dinner, do some homework, and I'll exchange a few words with her that can determine whether she hates my very being or wants to remain friends. Nothing more."

The driveway in front of Clarke's house was a welcome sight when Lexa arrived after a twenty-minute discussion with herself, accompanied by bad pop music playing on a station she couldn't be bothered to switch. The journey to the doorbell felt like a thousand miles, but Lexa steeled her resolve and rang the doorbell, closing her eyes and trying to steady her breathing. Clarke opened the door, bundled inside an oversized flannel shirt.

"Lexa," she said, gesturing for the other girl to come in. "Hi. I, uh, wasn't really expecting you to be here this early." Lexa could see Raven and Octavia shuffling around in the living room, carrying bowls of popcorn and whispering incomprehensible things. "We're about to watch _High School Musical._ " Raven seemed to take notice of Lexa for the first time, waving eagerly as she set down her leg brace next to the couch.

"Hey! Lexa! You've _finally_ decided to come and watch the pinnacle of American cinema with us, huh?"

"I didn't even know that you were planning on watching it," Lexa replied as she found her way to the living room. "I just needed to . . . talk to Clarke about some . . . things, and this seemed to be the ideal time to do it."

"Sure, Jan," Raven sighed. Lexa couldn't see her face from where she stood, but she was almost certain that Raven was facing the glowing television with a smirk. Octavia sat perched on the arm of the couch, fiddling with her phone.

"Clarke, are you sure that the movie's even going to play? You've had the disc for a while now."

"We're all in this together, Octavia," Clarke replied, with a completely deadpan expression. "It'll work." Not a second later, the three burst into laughter.

"Is this how you always spend your weekends?" Lexa inquired. Clarke shrugged.

"If you mean making bad jokes and watching weirdly entertaining dumb movies, then . . . yeah, pretty much."

"Hmm." Lexa wanted to pretend that she was uninterested, that she was above it all, but some part of her knew that it would be a useless attempt. Clarke could see right through her, and besides, _why_ would she do that? This, whatever it was, seemed like it could be _fun._ Lexa slid onto the couch, still weakly trying to maintain the air of elegance, and Raven immediately flicked off the house's lights.

"Are you ready for this, Woods?" Octavia yelled. Lexa covered her ears - Octavia was hardly a foot away from her, and she was practically screaming. "This is pretty much an initiation ritual, y'know. The first time watching this movie, it marks you."

"It marks me as what?" Lexa was completely and utterly perplexed, in all honesty. If she had been able to see in the near-complete darkness, she would have seen Raven give an overdramatic shrug of her shoulders.

"Just go with it," she sighed. "You won't want to miss a second." Clarke plopped down next to Lexa, and she tried to focus on the trailers for movies that had already come out a decade ago instead of how _close_ Clarke was, how she practically radiated warmth. A too-small blanket lay in a crumpled heap on the floor, and Lexa picked it up, hoping to keep herself warm without someone to help her.

"Hey," Clarke said. The movie's main menu had shown up, now, but nobody made a move to play it. "I used to play with that blanket all the time when I was a kid. We keep it up here for some reason, but I haven't seen anyone use it in years."

"Is that a problem, then? I could just-"

"No, Lexa, it's _fine._ " Lexa breathed a sigh of relief and wrapped herself in the blanket, Clarke's body heat still glaringly _there._

"Hey, are we gonna watch this movie or not?" Octavia groaned. "I wanted to see whether or not they actually thanked the guy at the end." Raven elbowed her and whispered something in her ear - Lexa could only make out the words _no - date - couch._

"What are they talking about?" Lexa asked. Clarke shrugged - that seemed to be this trio's primary form of communication, she thought.

"Actually! I think! I have to go!" Octavia blurted out, accentuating every few words as if she was reciting a strange poem. She grabbed her sword - _she really does have one,_ Lexa thought - and ran to the door like her life depended on it. Not a second later, Raven yelled a similar excuse as she hobbled away, joining Octavia at the door.

"Sorry, Clarke, I just need to, uh, fix some things! At my house! Yep!"

"Enjoy the movie, you two!" Octavia called. Clarke rolled her eyes.

"They're probably trying to set us up on an impromptu date or something," she chuckled. Lexa awkwardly laughed along, hoping that Clarke didn't notice how she had started to lean against her.

_It's the way the couch leans,_ Lexa thought. _Nothing more._

"You're tense," Clarke noted. "Are you okay?"

"You ask that a lot," Lexa muttered, a bit more defensively than intended.

"My mom's the closest thing the dropship has to a nurse. You learn to check people for symptoms of problems, y'know? She's taught me a bunch about medicine, too, so if you . . . I dunno, suddenly got shot in the stomach, I'd probably be able to save you." Lexa ignored the last part of the comment the best she could.

"Why do they call it the dropship?" she asked instead.

"I don't actually know. I think it's meant to be sort of a passive-aggressive jab at how it's like, an experimental hippie school or something. We're the test subjects, the lab rats, and Arkadia's the vessel? I've never really understood it myself, to be honest."

"Huh."

"Anyway, I guess we should stop chatting and watch the movie. Troy and Gabriella aren't going to start singing themselves." Lexa nodded in agreement as Clarke fumbled for the remote.

"How many times have you seen this?" Lexa asked, the words New Year's Eve flickering across the screen.

"At least twenty. Probably more, if we're being honest."

"We are."

" _We are_ what?"

" _We are_ being honest. This _is_ the talk we seemed to mutually agree on having, isn't it?" The guy - _Troy, probably,_ Lexa thought - was complaining on the screen about being dragged to a party. Lexa sympathized with the feeling, but not a second later the film switched to a view of the girl - _Gabriella?_ \- curled over on a couch, holding a book with a title obscured by her hands.

"She's cute, huh?" Clarke said. Lexa nodded. The girl on the television didn't want to go to the party either, it seemed, and Lexa already knew what would happen next. A light, cast onto the two reluctant teenagers, was the thing that pulled them together.

"He's certainly talented for someone who says he doesn't sing," Lexa noted. Clarke shrugged.

"It's a cheesy movie, you're kinda supposed to suspend disbelief for ninety minutes of song and dance."

"Hmm. I'll get you some snacks, if you want. It's late, we should be prepared for a long night ahead of us."

"It's an hour and a half, Lexa."

"My point still stands." Lexa stood up and headed for the table, only to see something move out of the corner of her eye. "Clarke?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you have a cat or something like that?"

"Nope. We're not allowed to have pets, Mom's allergic." Lexa dismissed the sight as a figment of her imagination and decided to focus on gathering the popcorn abandoned by Octavia and Raven.

***

"This is based on _Romeo and Juliet,_ right?" Lexa asked, about a third of the way through the movie.

"Yeah."

"Who's supposed to be Mercutio, then?" Clarke thought deeply for a moment before answering.

"Chad, probably."

"That makes sense." Lexa, somehow, hadn't noticed how Clarke had started to lean on her for warmth.

_Don't make her uncomfortable, you idiot,_ Clarke thought to herself. Lexa was raptly engaged in the world of the movie, humming along to the tunes of the songs whenever she could figure them out fast enough. "Do you like it so far? The movie, I mean."

"Yeah. It's not the kind of thing that I usually watch, but it's . . . nice. Peaceful."

"What stuff _do_ you watch, then?"

"Documentaries, mostly. Sometimes the occasional indie film, and of course Aden often drags me along to watch cartoons with him."

"There's nothing wrong with cartoons!" Clarke yelped indignantly.

"I never said that there was." The students onscreen were starting to sing about the status quo, now, seemingly desperate to keep it intact after some tiny actions had rocked their world.

"I love this part," Clarke whispered.

"Why?"

"You'll see." As if on cue, the exaggerated dance moves around the tables began as the entire lunchroom broke into a chorus.

"That's . . . elaborate. All because a brainiac and a jock decided to join a musical? This school's social hierarchy must have been pretty rigid until these two came along. Nobody else attempted to rebel against the arbitrary system shoved in place by the queen bee?"

"It's _High School Musical,_ Lexa, not an intricately woven film about . . . anything, really. You're not supposed to take it seriously. Now, shh, you're about to miss the best line."

_"I play the cello!"_ Immediately, the table erupted into chaos. Clarke burst out laughing. A small smile spread across Lexa's features, and her hand rested on Clarke's hip for half a second, but it was enough to send warmth through her body.

"Okay, I'll admit that was funny."

"Y-yeah, it was. Funny. Yep." _This isn't going to be easy, is it?_ Confessions, Clarke found, were even more difficult when the time to confess loomed closer and closed as the girl she had fallen for sat right beside her, laughing at the overdramatic actions of the characters onscreen.

"Lexa?"

***

"Yeah?" The song had ended with a scream, and that was more or less how Lexa felt inside as Clarke turned to her with a determined expression.

"If it hadn't been for Bellamy interrupting us, would you have . . . you know . . ."

"Probably." Lexa couldn't form a more detailed response than that.

"Oh."

***

The events of the movie had never felt slower, dragging on and on until it felt like Clarke was being pulled through molasses by strangely well-choreographed dance numbers. Neither girl had been willing to speak after Clarke's "confession" - if she could even call it that - but Clarke noticed the amount of distance Lexa had put between the two of them.

"Would you?" Misunderstandings were resolved all too easily as the two protagonists stood on a balcony together.

"What?"

"I'm asking you the same question, Clarke."

"Well-" Clarke's answer was cut off rather abruptly by the beginnings of yet another song.

***

_I'm pushing my luck. I've already asked her once, I can't just do this._ Clarke was grinning as what was most likely this movie's version of an action-packed finale began to play out in front of her. It seemed like Lexa's subconscious managed to do it for her, hands gently touching Clarke's as if that was all they were ever meant to do.

"Lexa?" Lexa took a shaky breath as the characters began their tentative duet.

"I like you, Clarke. It might not be an all-consuming love, the soulmate story for the ages, but that's fine. We . . . we can find all of the energy for the soulmate part later, if it works out, but for now I just like you. A lot." The song picked up in tempo, and if it hadn't been for the emotionally draining confession, Lexa might have wondered how Troy didn't get sweaty while dancing around the stage in a thick jacket. Lexa awaited Clarke's response with baited breath - a response, it seemed, that just so happened to be a kiss.

Or, at least, it would have been a kiss if Lexa hadn't gotten tangled in the blanket and practically tripped over herself in surprise after Clarke leaned in.

"Oh my god," Clarke snorted. "That was really cute." Lexa could feel her cheeks turning red.

"Could we try that again?" Lexa muttered, and answered her own question by closing the distance between her lips and Clarke's. It was not an explosion, that was Lexa's first thought. It was soft, like stardust and youth and the feeling of adventure, gentle and warm and the most incredible feeling Lexa could hardly put to words.

"We're missing the last part of the song," Clarke murmured between kisses, laughing and vibrant and _happy._ "'S a good song."

"We can rewind the movie later," Lexa said. "It'd be nice if we could just . . . stay like this for a while."

"Mm-hmm."

"I _knew_ it!" Clarke and Lexa both jumped at the sudden noise. Octavia sprung out from behind an armchair, a smug grin on her face. Lexa couldn't help but think of the image of a cat with a knife pointed at it that Raven sent her sometimes. _Raven. She's probably here too._

"Crap, Lexa, why couldn't you have waited a few more days?" Raven groaned, practically on cue. "Now I owe this asshole ten bucks."

"You two were _betting_ on us?!" Clarke yelped.

"Yep. I said no, they wouldn't do it during the movie, but it'd help them get closer and we'd be hearing an _official girlfriend announcement_ a few days later. This hopeless romantic-" Raven jabbed a finger in Octavia's direction "-said _of course_ they'll make out on the couch during _Breaking Free,_ because that's what _all_ couples do, apparently."

"And I was right!" Octavia chirped. Lexa stood up abruptly.

"Lexa?" Clarke said. "Lexa, where are you going?"

"Home. Thank you, Clarke." Lexa left with the door still wide open, a cold draft blowing through the house. Raven and Octavia followed suit, and Clarke was left alone.

"They were _watching_ us," Lexa muttered to the car. "It couldn't have been a setup, because Clarke was just as surprised as me, but that doesn't make it any less unsettling. On that subject, we kissed. We actually kissed this time, too, instead of being interrupted. I don't know what I'm supposed to do about this."

Lexa slammed the door to the car and ran inside as fast as she could, somehow convinced that her bedroom held the key to every mystery she was currently trying to solve in her head.

It didn't.

***

Clarke's clock blinked midnight when her phone buzzed - she had muted it after declaring herself too tired for the sound of airhorns at ungodly hours.

_It's Lexa,_ she thought. _It can't be anyone other than Lexa. She's probably going to tell me that this was all a fluke, that it meant nothing, that-_

**~the dream meme team~**

**SWORD WOMAN: sING US A SONG YOU'RE THE PIANO MAAAAAAANNNN**

**the literal bomb: octavia.**

**the literal bomb: i can't believe i'm saying this, but now is not the time for memes.**

**the literal bomb: clarke's probably looking at this chat right now, expecting the text to have been from her sort-of gf.**

Clarke was too tired to tell Raven that _yes,_ that was actually exactly what she was doing.

Really, all she wanted was to slip into a peaceful slumber and wake up to resolved conflicts in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so octavia sending that text came to me as if it was a prophetic vision really early on during the writing of this fic so it's a relief for it to finally be published
> 
> someone please help these poor kids


	10. The Great Cornmander

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: hey! so, sorry for not updating this fic for like a month, life got in the way of things and i hit a really bad bout of writer's block, but i managed to finish this chapter (somehow) so. uh. yeah. i honestly don't know where this fic is going.
> 
> also, the polis project was actually something i had to do in school, it was seriously called the polis project and the cornmander thing was Based On A True Story. it was like 90% of the reason why i even decided to write this fic and three months later i actually accomplished that goal.
> 
> (polis, for those unaware, is the ancient greek word for city. polis was literally a city called city. lexa lived in the city equivalent of moon moon)

Monday came by all too fast, and Clarke practically sprung from her bed in a hurry to get to school.

"How'd the broken pipe go, Mom?" she asked as she raced to pack her things.

"I think it went well," her mother replied. "How did the movie night with Raven and Octavia go?"

"I think it went well." Clarke shot her mother a grin before snatching her lunch from the counter and grabbing a piece of toast for breakfast, halfway out the door before a response could be heard.

***

It occurred to Lexa, as she dropped Aden off far earlier than usual, that he had no idea why she had woken him up at the crack of dawn to rush to school. Or, she thought, perhaps he _did_ know, and just refused to say that he did. In any case, Lexa arrived at Arkadia's locker area before most of the other students - most of them, it should be mentioned, aside from Clarke.

"Was Saturday night another fluke?" she breathed. "If it was, that's completely fine, I hope you understand that. I value your friendship above all else. Nothing could change that, and if it's what you need then I would pretend Saturday never happened in an instant. You're special, Clarke, you make people laugh and you're likable and I don't think I've ever met anyone whom I would rather spend the rest of my time in high school with and-"

"Wait, Lexa, did you just say _whom?_ " Clarke seemed to be on the brink of tears, though whether it was from barely-held laughter or true emotion, Lexa couldn't tell.

"Yes, I did."

"You're such a dork," Clarke chuckled, stepping closer. Lexa did the same, and it felt almost like a small dance, something fragile and personal despite the fact that anyone could spring in at any time. This moment belonged to the two of them and the two of them alone, and nobody could ever interrupt it. "And no," Clarke added. "It wasn't a fluke." To prove her point, it seemed, Clarke leaned forward, and the second kiss felt just as powerful and soft and wonderful as the first.

"You're sure?" Lexa murmured.

"As sure as any idiot in high school can be." Lexa felt secure, warm, _safe,_ in Clarke's arms, and she wondered if the other girl felt the same.

***

Being held by Lexa felt like nothing else, Clarke thought, resting in the arms of someone who held such caution in every step and yet was holding her as if they would never see each other again.

"You know, Raven gets here early a lot too," she noted. Lexa immediately stiffened and stood back. "Hey, hey, don't worry. I talked to her about the movie night yesterday, she apologized."

"What about the other one? With the sword and the baking brother?"

"Octavia? She pinned the blame on Raven and then Bellamy, which I guess is her own version of apologizing, so you don't have to worry about either of them."

"Thanks." Clarke took a moment to look down at the carpeted floor, covered in crumpled worksheets and half-eaten breakfasts, before composing her thoughts and staring right back into Lexa's green eyes.

"Listen, Lexa, I know that you're probably not used to this kind of thing, considering the fact that you've been opting to sit on the roof with a bunch of plants for three months, but neither of them really mean any harm. Did that go a bit too far? Yeah, it did, but Raven and Octavia . . . they're good people, okay? They're weird and they act like butts half the time, but you could say the same for me. If . . . this, whatever it is, is going to work, then you'll need to deal with them too."

"I understand," Lexa murmured.

***

"Hey, you two!" Lexa nearly jumped out of Clarke's arms. Raven stood in the hallway, her bag of metal scraps resting on the ground beside her. "Don't mind me, I'm not trying to screw up your romantic moment or anything. Our good friend O did enough of that on Saturday."

"I thought that was _your_ idea," Clarke deadpanned. Raven shrugged.

"Depends on who you ask," she sighed. "Anyway, I just came here to work on my little friend here. Say hi to Lexa, Charlotte!" Raven held up the object - whatever it was - and mimicked waving to Lexa.

"You named your microwave after the weird kid who used to follow Bellamy around?" Clarke asked, raising an eyebrow. "Didn't she get in a fight with Wells or something?" Raven set down the microwave and nodded.

"I mean, it's not like she actually managed to do any harm. She was a little kid, it wasn't like she had a knife or anything. It wasn't so much a fight as she just yelled at him for ten minutes until he went back inside and called his dad."

"You knew one of Raven's flatmates?"

"Yep. We used to be best friends when we were kids, actually. Kinda drifted apart, but he still lives around here. I see him once in a while."

"That's nice." Clarke smiled, and Lexa could feel her heart melt a bit more. _I am not going to make out with Clarke Griffin again in front of her explosive-obsessed friend. I am not going to make out with Clarke Griffin in front of her explosive-obsessed friend. I am not-_

"So, I guess you two really are dating now?" Raven interrupted Lexa's stream of thought with the question. Clarke looked to Lexa for confirmation, and Lexa gave her a nod, trying as hard as she could to hide the smile spreading across her face.

"We are," Clarke answered with an affirmative squeeze of her hand.

"I'm happy for you two, then." Raven leaned in to whisper into Lexa's ear. "Remember my warning," she muttered. "If you hurt my friend, you can expect the rest of this year's calculus classes to be very miserable." Lexa nodded, and Raven's voice returned to its usual chipper tone. "Well, I'll see you two lovebirds later! Crap, there are two couples in this friend group who're dating now. This is going to be hard to figure out . . ." Raven walked away as she continued talking to herself.

"Is this considered an official confession?" Lexa wondered. Clarke blinked.

"Wait, is this the first time you've been with someone? What about the girl you talked about a while ago, the one from middle school?" Lexa stiffened.

"We . . . the two of us, we never really told anyone," she murmured. _Clarke deserves to know at least this much._ "It would have proven disastrous, that was the argument she used."

"You don't have to tell me the rest if it's making you uncomfortable."

"No, it's . . . it's fine." Lexa adjusted her posture, still trying to seem as regal as she could in the middle of the sophomore locker area. "Her name was Costia. We did everything together, but somehow nobody noticed that we had a relationship that went a bit deeper than-"

"Gal pals?" Lexa raised an eyebrow. "Sorry. Just trying to lighten the mood a bit."

"Yes, actually. They just assumed that we were close friends, nothing more. It wasn't until a family reunion dinner, which my uncle had reluctantly allowed Costia to join, that people found out. Namely, the student who goes to this very school and is obsessed with destroying me."

"Ontari."

"Yes. She saw us and told her stepmother, who in turn told my uncle. I've mentioned the Nightblood Corporation before, right?"

"Yeah."

"Well, my uncle believes that Nia - Ontari's stepmother - will bring ruin to it if she somehow manages to place Ontari into the position of power. It's something of an unspoken rule that we don't cause any trouble, don't create any scandals, nothing that could reach the front page of a trashy magazine. He refused to allow me to see her again, told me that Nia was already plotting to overthrow us with something as small as two middle schoolers kissing."

"That's terrible."

"It is. I never saw her again after that."

"I'm sorry." Clarke leaned against Lexa's shoulder in an attempt to comfort her, hesitation clear on her face. She was treating her like something fragile, Lexa realized, and the small bit of regret that had started to surface was tossed away as Clarke gently squeezed her hand with a reassuring smile. _She cares,_ Lexa thought, squeezing her hand back. _She cares about me, even though we've only been 'officially dating' for twenty minutes now, she cares enough to be so gentle when we didn't even know if we were dating less than half an hour ago._

"I don't know why you're doing this," Lexa finally said. Clarke looked up.

"Doing what?"

"Being so nice. You still don't know me very well, hardly anybody does, yet you're holding me like I'm such a gentle, precious thing. I told you something not very many people know, but that . . . _god,_ Clarke, you're too nice." Clarke laughed, tilting her head back so that the dim lights of the room caught her in such a way that her hair positively glowed, and in that moment she seemed just a bit like an otherworldly goddess.

"Listen, Lexa, if I decide that someone's worth caring about, I'm more or less willing to protect them with my life. My mother, Raven, Octavia. You're a part of that, now - for lack of a better word, you're my people."

"You sound like the protagonist of a terrible sci-fi novel," Lexa chuckled, pressing her lips to Clarke's cheek. "One where the teenage girl is forced to carry the burden of everything and everyone she's ever known." Clarke traced the back of Lexa's neck with her fingertips, the touch sending shivers down her spine, and she came to the realization that she really didn't care if Clarke knew about the small tattoo that rested there.

"I hate those," Clarke breathed. "They're all just kids, they shouldn't need to have that stuff weighing them down." Lexa pulled her in for another kiss. "We should be allowed to live, enjoy the time we have. I don't know about you, but I think the world would be a lot better off if they realized that a _High School Musical_ is just as valuable as a _Romeo and Juliet._ We don't always need to end in tragedy." There were little giggles between her words, and Lexa wondered how long she had held onto this thought. "Happy endings are pretty special, Lexa."

"I agree."

"Of course you do, you nerd."

"If I'm a nerd, then what does that make you?" Clarke flashed a smile, her eyes twinkling.

"Well, I guess that makes me the co-leader of my nerd people."

***

Clarke wished that she could say that there was some problem within the next few weeks, something small enough to remain under the surface but big enough to cause her at least some concern. Nothing of the sort occurred - it was some kind of perfect, she thought, really - Lexa was the most wonderful girlfriend anyone could ask for, and Clarke felt like she was walking on air. That, in itself, caused her more worry than any sharp-edged glance or sudden change in demeanor ever could. Everything was going so well, she was so _happy,_ yet the knowledge of _nothing lasts forever_ rang in her mind every time she was alone. It was a fear held by many, she knew - being afraid of losing the happy times that came so unexpectedly wasn't exactly uncommon - but she was worried nonetheless.

"You're nervous," Lexa noted one day, leaning against Clarke on a bench alongside several plants on the rooftop. Clarke had found it easier to go to Lexa than to convince her to join her small group, and so they spent many of their days eating lunch together in Lexa's spot.

"The student election's coming up," Clarke lied. _What else could I say? 'You're so amazing that I'm legitimately worried about this being too good to be true?'_ "I don't want you to lose."

"I'm not particularly worried about it," Lexa admitted. "It'd be nice to help the school from the 'puppet government,' as Raven calls it, but if I lose, it wouldn't be terrible."

"Isn't your cousin running too, though?"

"Ontari? Yes, she's running, and that is a bit concerning, but I'm under the impression that this position is more of a figurehead than anything. The school wouldn't let a power-mad freshman bring it to its knees, that's how I view it."

"You're optimistic."

"I understand how these things work. They pretend that part of our crowd, the _cool teens,_ has actual power, but they delegate us to organizing carnivals and Friday morning snacks. We can't truly affect anything, Clarke, and if you want the truth, the only reason why I ran for this position in the first place was in order to take my mind off of . . . certain things."

"What kinds of 'certain things?'"

"You, for one." Clarke blinked, her cheeks flushing red.

"Oh."

"In any case, if the student government really held any influence, we would already have the free tampons that Raven has been complaining about ever since I met her."

"Hey, if you can make that happen, I'd be more than willing to do _anything_ to help."

"How long have people been asking for the free tampons, anyway? It seems to be in high demand."

"Well, Raven came here two years ago and people were already clamoring for it by then, so I'd be willing to bet that they've wanted them for a while now. I'm surprised, really, that they - the school board - hasn't at least tried to make that happen, considering how unnecessarily rich this school is."

"They refuse to hire an official nurse, as well," Lexa noted, tilting her head up as if the sky would provide the answer to Arkadia's lack of medics. "There was a boy in my history class who fell on his face in the middle of class and he needed to go home because your mother was having a sick day and there wasn't anyone who could actually treat his injury." Clarke shrugged.

"They've got skewed priorities, but at least they try. I'm okay with no nurse and no tampons if it means that the teachers care and the school's pretty welcoming."

"What do you mean by that?" Lexa's eyes sparkled a brilliant green in the sun, and Clarke could feel the warmth swell in her chest, the knowledge that she was _dating_ this girl an unbelievable occurrence.

"It's a nice place. It feels lived in, if that makes any sense. It's not just a bunch of cold hallways and white brick walls."

"I think I understand," Lexa murmured. "It's more of a home than a school, is that what you're saying?"

"Yeah."

"I think . . ." Lexa began slowly, deliberately, as if every syllable held great importance. "I think that I'm starting to see that, too. It's truly a lovely campus, and the teachers - most of them, in any case - really do seem to respect us. I'd probably be in a very different place than I am now if I had been able to attend a place like this when I was younger." Clarke wondered what was running through Lexa's mind at that moment, what things she had seen. She wanted to know, she wanted to help, but at the same time she feared that Lexa could fall apart before her eyes, the dark past buried beneath the cool exterior taken out and put on display. Clarke was worried about Lexa breaking, and she feared that she wouldn't be able to help piece her back together again.

"We should talk about stuff at my house sometime," Clarke said, feeling the comfortable weight of Lexa's hand in hers. Lexa tilted her head in confusion.

"We're already talking about stuff. Why would it be any different at your house?" Clarke shrugged.

"It'd be more private, I guess. Not to mention the fact that we wouldn't be limited by weather." As if in response to Clarke's comment, a few drops of rain began to fall from the sky. "See?"

"I understand your point, Clarke. Would tonight work?" Clarke scrunched up her face in concentration for a moment, trying to remember if she had any prior plans.

"Yep, I'm pretty sure that'd work."

"I suppose we should consider it a date, then."

***

Lexa had just barely managed to sit through an excruciatingly dull history class, during which the irritable teacher had given them a group project to be completed in the next two weeks, when her phone let out a _doot-doot-doot._ Curious, she dug the phone out of her bag, wondering who it could be.

**the best gf in existence: Hey!**

**Lexa: hi clarke**

**the best gf in existence: So, did you get that assignment too?**

**Lexa: the polis project?**

**Lexa: yes**

**Clarke: It's kind of ridiculous, how far some of my classmates are already taking it.**

**the best gf in existence: Octavia, for example.**

**the best gf in existence: Everyone has started chanting "anarchy! anarchy! anarchy!" and saying that they can do whatever the hell they want.**

**the best gf in existence: We're going to fail.**

**Lexa: that actually isn't as bad as mine**

**the best gf in existence: How?**

**Lexa: well**

**Lexa: the class decided that their main export is corn**

**Lexa: and they decided that i should be the cornmander**

**Lexa: commander of the corn**

**Lexa: please don't change my contact name to cornmander**

Clarke chuckled at Lexa's messages as she walked down the hall.

**Clarke: Okay.**

**the great cornmander: i'll see you tonight**

**the great cornmander: please tell me that you didn't do what i think you did**

**Clarke: Whatever you say, Cornmander.**

**the great cornmander: you are a nerd**

**Clarke: I'm /your/ nerd.**

Raven peered over Clarke's shoulder at the messages, rubbing her chin thoughtfully. After what looked to be a moment of deep pension and thought, she broke into a grin.

"You two," she began, "might be the most disgustingly cute couple I've ever laid eyes on, and that's saying something, considering the fact that O and Lincoln went to a pet store and played with puppies together for a solid three hours. Seriously, it's like all four of you are _trying_ to make me suffer."

"We're trying to do what, now?" Octavia piped up, casually hoisting her sword behind her back as if it was simply a bag and not a deadly weapon.

"When did you get here?" Clarke and Raven asked in unison. Octavia shrugged.

"I've been trailing you for about thirty seconds. Figured that I wouldn't push my luck. I think that's a new record, actually."

"A new record for _what?_ " Clarke asked, suddenly concerned once again for her friend's safety.

"I've been working on my stealth."

"Does that mean you're going to start jumping on us in the hallways?" Raven deadpanned. Octavia looked up in earnest.

"Maybe."

"That's not the kind of thing you say with an honest face like that!"

***

Lexa stood in the gymnasium in her usual spot, awaiting Clarke's arrival as she nervously looked back and forth. As things were, however, she found herself face-to-face with a smirking Raven, leaning on one of the bleachers as she set down her microwave, which was actually beginning to somewhat resemble a microwave at this point.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't the cornmander herself?" Raven looped an arm around Lexa, and she quietly resolved to tell Clarke to never speak of her exploits to Raven again. "If you're wondering, Clarke didn't tell me. I heard that ninth grader-"

"Freshman."

"Whatever. I heard her snickering to a couple of her friends about that. She thought it was hilarious for some reason. I mean, it _is,_ but she was acting like it was the funniest joke in all of human history. She's a weird kid."

"I'm aware of that." Lexa paused for a moment, unsure of whether to tell Raven of something this important. "If I tell you something, will you promise to keep it a secret?" Raven dutifully nodded. "This may seem somewhat ridiculous to you, but Ontari-"

"Hey, Lexa!" Lexa and Raven turned to see Clarke running through the gym with her backpack slung over one shoulder, panting heavily. "Sorry I'm late, one of my crappy teachers stopped me to talk about why my essay was lacking in substance and how I needed to stop doodling."

"He sounds like an asshole," Raven breezily commented. "I'm glad I didn't have him back when I was your age."

"You're hardly even a year older than me!" Clarke yelped indignantly. "Speaking of which, do you have any tips for the, uh, Polis Project? We all got assigned to it today, I'm not really sure how to handle some of my classmates."

"The Polis Project? The history thing? Man, that was an experience. I'm pretty sure that I still have my team's flag lying around somewhere. Really, all I can say about tips is _for the love of god, please have backups for the hula hooping contest._ "

"There's a hula hooping contest?" Clarke said. "Why?" Raven shrugged.

"The ancient Greeks invented the Olympics. They're using this as an excuse for sports, I guess. Anyway, we lost because half of our team didn't show up and someone who had never hula hooped had to suddenly hula hoop for a prize." Lexa had pulled out a notebook, scribbling details as fast as she could. "What kind of wacky things have you guys come up with? Lexa's the cornmander, I know that, but your city can't not have weird crap in it, Clarke, otherwise it kinda defeats the purpose of letting a bunch of sophomores loose in designing a political system."

"Ours is a city in the sky," Clarke muttered, almost too quiet to be heard.

"What?"

"I said, ours is a city in the sky filled with anarchists who don't take this seriously. I don't know how the teacher approved it, but she did, and now we're a flying city that doesn't have a real government." Raven didn't even try to hold back her laugh.

"Oh my _god,_ " she guffawed, tears practically leaking out of her eyes from laughing so hard. "That, my friend, is the greatest thing I've ever heard."

"I'm glad you like it," Clarke muttered. "Now, do you think you could help me out with the actual political system tomorrow? My classmates are all a bunch of idiots."

"I gathered that from the - pfft - sky village thing. Sure, I'll do it. I guess I should leave you and your _girlfriend_ to talk, though." With that, Raven slipped away, humming to herself.

"We may be dating now," Lexa began, "but I still stand by my opinion that your friends are rather strange."

"That's fair."


	11. A Dog Called Fish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> closet weeb clarke griffin, heda the stuffed raccoon, and ontari all make triumphant returns in this chapter as the author desperately attempts to tie up loose ends in order to keep the story going at a regular pace in preparation for the final two chapters

"So," Lexa said, sitting down on the Griffin family's worn-in couch. It was the first time, she realized, that she had ever actually been past the front of Clarke's house at a reasonable hour - _High School Musical_ didn't count, since most of the lights had been off. It seemed small, messy, honestly a bit cramped, and yet there was a charm to it that Lexa rather enjoyed. Abby - she had insisted on being called Abby, stating that the school board was going to start asking students to refer to the teachers by their first names as a way to connect with them - seemed to be having fun teaching Aden about medical terms (in the case of an emergency, she had said). "What was it that you needed to talk to me about?" Clarke looked up from the cookie in her hand to face her.

"What?"

"You said that we should 'talk at my house sometime.' I may be wrong, perhaps this is some difference between us and how people on the east coast talk compared to where I'm from, but-"

"You're from California, Lexa, not Mars. I was hoping for some small talk or something before we went right into it, maybe some innocuous hand-holding that could . . ." Clarke waggled her eyebrows. ". . . become something more once Mom finds a way to get Aden upstairs, but yeah, I needed to talk with you about something." Lexa's mind would have immediately assumed the worst had it not been for Clarke's easygoing smile and reassuring squeeze of her hand. That seemed to be a large part of how she communicated - shrugs and smiles and hand-squeezes, a tiny language all spoken in movements like that. Lexa had never figured herself to be the kind of person to find someone's body language endearing (and attractive), yet here she was. Still, her heart took the wheel from her head and pushed out the first fearful thought that popped into her thoughts.

"I'm completely fine if you believe that I'm not a good person and we should break up," Lexa blurted out without thinking. "I wouldn't want to be a bad influence on your life, nor would I mind if you told me what was wrong." She took a shuddering breath, resting against the couch's cold fabric. Clarke simply stared. "I apologize for that," Lexa said, not a second later. "I may have overreacted."

"You think that I would break up with you?" Clarke nearly laughed, barely managing to maintain a serious expression. _"Why?"_ Lexa shrugged.

"I tend to think in worst-case scenarios," she admitted.

"Well, that makes two of us. Three, if you count my mom, who's probably trying to child-proof this entire house right now in case Aden runs into a table."

"Clarke. What was it that you wanted to say?" Clarke took a deep breath, clearly pensive, and Lexa let her be as she relished the feeling of relief that swept through her body. Clarke wasn't going to break up with her. Clarke found the idea of breaking up, even, to be ridiculous. That in itself provided a sense of pure, unadulterated joy that made Lexa vaguely tempted to jump off of the couch in excitement. She probably would have tripped over her own sweater, laying at her feet while she sat.

"You're too perfect," Clarke mumbled, barely audible - though whether that was because of her tone of voice or the fact that Aden's sudden yelling from upstairs drowned out most other noise, Lexa couldn't be sure.

"I'm . . . what?" Lexa hardly even tried to hide the fact that her cheeks had turned rosy pink.

"Don't make me say it again, it sounds like something the protagonist of a crappy preteen romcom would say."

"No, I feel like I misheard you."

"Did you hear 'you're too perfect?'" Clarke said, her voice unusually snippy. Lexa flinched. "Because that's what I said."

"Oh." A heavy silence fell over the two girls for a few moments before Clarke broke it with a rather dramatic groan.

"I'm being crazy, right?" she said, laughing humorlessly. "That's a ridiculous thought, that I'm worried because we're too happy. People would kill to be in our shoes, and I'm sitting here scared of some inevitable, terrible thing happening in the future." Lexa tentatively scooted closer to Clarke's spot on the couch, resting a hand on her shoulder.

"What do you mean by that?" she asked, although she understood the overall idea of what Clarke was trying to say. She had felt the same way too, once upon a time. Now, she was mostly just trying to enjoy what time she had with as little worry as possible.

"You know about the law of equivalent exchange, right? You know, equal value, trying to bring back your dead mom results in losing half of your limbs and your brother's body, that kind of thing?"

"Er, yes."

"I've always sort of thought that it applied to life, too. If you were having a really bad day, for example, maybe you'd have a really good day pretty soon afterwards."

"That's all just based on chance, though."

"Yeah, that could be true, but it's a nice hope to hold onto, that it'll all even out in the end." Lexa knew what Clarke was getting at, now.

"And it goes in the other direction, too," Lexa murmured, letting herself sink further into the couch. She hadn't noticed it during the movie night, but that couch was _soft._ Nothing in her house was that comfortable, that relaxing. She made a mental note to ask Abby about where she had gotten it later.

"Yeah." Clarke looked off to the side, supposedly very interested in a bird outside her window. "We're living in such a great time, I can't help but wonder if there's some great evil on the horizon or something."

"Ontari's stepmother recently joined the PTA, apparently," Lexa quipped. "That could be considered a great evil."

"She's that bad?" Clarke had turned away from the sparrow, now, lips turned upwards into a smile.

"I've been lucky enough to never attend school anywhere near Ontari - she moves around quite a bit, but never close to us until now - but I've heard rumors. Legends, supposedly."

"Like what? She poisoned the brownies at the annual bake sale?"

"Yes." If Clarke had been drinking something, she probably would have spit it out at that moment.

"T-that was a joke!" Clarke sputtered. "You're telling me _she really did that?_ "

"It was supposedly meant to take down Helen, her arch-nemesis," Lexa replied dryly, maintaining a completely neutral expression. "She had insulted Nia's minivan."

"Geez, between that and the electronics company thing, Ontari could have her own reality show."

"I hate reality shows."

"Me too." There was another awkward pause in the conversation, this time broken by Lexa.

"Your mother makes good cookies," she said, unwilling to hear only the whir of the vents and Aden's distant yells of excitement (only a ten-year-old could take joy in learning the Heimlich maneuver, Lexa thought).

"Yeah."

"She cares about you, you know."

"Yeah."

"You should thank her for that."

"Are you worried about the student election?" Clarke asked, seemingly attempting to change the subject. "I could help you with that."

"No," Lexa admitted. "I've told you before, this is mostly a show. Nothing is truly at stake - my life is in no danger, and the student government holds no power. It'll be fine either way."

"What do you mean by that?" Clarke drummed her fingers along the edge of the couch impatiently, waiting for a response, and it occurred to Lexa that the girl next to her cared more about Lexa winning than Lexa did herself.

"If I win, then Ontari will admit defeat and leave us alone, hopefully." Lexa hoped that Clarke couldn't hear the slight waver in her voice, the uncertainty held behind her words. "If I lose, then Ontari dangles her victory in front of me and becomes too wrapped up in her pretend position of power to actually do any harm."

"I'd have expected you to hate her," Clarke said, the drumming of her fingers now stopped and replaced with a tight hold on Lexa's shoulder. "After what she did to you."

"She did as her stepmother told," Lexa replied simply, attempting to hold onto a solid façade. In truth, she couldn't stand Nia - Ontari was a pawn, a rather young pawn, but only a pawn nonetheless. She had no opinions that weren't firmly based in her upbringing, and for that, Lexa pitied her. Still, she worried, but the label of _too perfect_ that Clarke had suddenly thrust upon her minutes ago hung heavy. "I think it'd be shooting the messenger, if I decided to focus my anger on her. No, this election doesn't matter very much, and I think that it'll be healthy for both of us once it's over."

"By 'both of us,' do you mean you and me, or you and Ontari?"

"This doesn't concern you, Clarke."

"Like hell it doesn't!" Clarke snapped. Lexa nearly fell off the couch. "We're _dating,_ Lexa, we should be able to tell each other things like this. Let me _help,_ at least."

"The election is in two weeks. I'm not going to spend all of my time coming up with campaign slogans and stapling posters to walls. It's all a show, Clarke, it's-"

"What happens if she wins? What happens then?" Clarke's voice seemed frantic, almost, and Lexa didn't know how to stop the desperation in her tone.

"She gets her useless victory and hopefully leaves us alone."

" _Hopefully._ You keep on saying that, _hopefully._ You're not as sure of yourself as you pretend you are, Lexa."

"Am I no longer _too perfect,_ Clarke?" Lexa hated the sarcastic tone that crept into her voice, the bitterness of it. She didn't want to hurt her. She didn't ever want this to stop, she didn't want something as petty as a student election to be the thing that drove apart her and the girl she had fallen for. That would be stupid, she thought, not to mention the fact that she wouldn't be able to recover from a blow to her feelings like that. Considering the way Clarke had scooted back when Lexa had said _too perfect_ in that horribly mocking tone, it seemed as if she dealt with the same problem. Raven had said something about this, Lexa remembered. Second loves were so much more fragile, so much more carefully dealt with, and yet here she was on this couch yelling at Clarke (being yelled at by Clarke, too) over this tiny thing.

"I'm . . ." Lexa looked up, half-expecting Clarke to already be on her way out the door despite this being her house. "I'm sorry, Lexa."

_Oh._

"I'm sorry, too," Lexa mumbled. "We've both set unrealistic expectations for this, haven't we? We're still young, Clarke, young and imperfect, just like Ontari and Raven and everyone else we know. High schoolers are idiots, most of the time, I don't get why we would be the exception."

"That's a pretty long-winded apology," Clarke chuckled. "Not to mention the fact that you sort of called all of my friends idiots, but I'll accept it."

"It's a backhanded compliment."

"Sure, Jan."

"Raven said that once, too. What does it mean?"

"Oh my god."

***

The evening passed by far too quickly, Aden still cheerfully exploring the Griffin household as Clarke and Lexa talked and snuggled on the couch, sometimes blurting out terrible puns for campaign slogans. The tension, it seemed, had eased to a manageable amount.

"Your eyes are the greenest eyes I've ever seen," Clarke said, nestling her head on Lexa's shoulder. "I don't think anyone else has eyes like that."

"Do you always see the world in artistic thoughts like that?" Lexa asked. "Do you look at a tree and think 'that holds an ancient, indescribable power,' and then draw it?"

"Sometimes, yeah. I draw people for the most part, though. Landscapes, when I'm in the mood for it. I could draw you some posters for the student election, if you want."

"Back to that again, hmm?" Clarke looked down at the carpet.

"Well, I guess you could say . . . uh . . . I'm out of crappy puns."

"Wood-n't you vote for someone who promises to make a change in the school?" Lexa said, completely straight-faced. Clarke burst out laughing.

"How long have you been saving that one?"

"About five minutes. I was trying to avoid mentioning the subject again if I could help it."

"That one was pretty bad, I'll give you credit for that. Like, sitcom-bad. The kind of thing that would have a forced laugh track played after it."

"I thought it was somewhat clever, actually."

"You're a dork." Clarke planted a kiss on Lexa's lips.

"You're dating a dork," Lexa responded, returning in kind.

"You're both keeping it PG-13, I hope," Abby said, standing above the couch with Aden hanging from her hip. "There's a kid here, Clarke, I wouldn't want you two doing anything inappropriate." Clarke very desperately wished for the couch to swallow her whole and dump her into another dimension where her mother wasn't making allusions to her daughter and Lexa doing non-PG-13 things on the family couch. Lexa seemed unaffected, however, and instead only waved to Aden.

"We're doing fine, Ms. - I mean, Abby," she said, very subtly scooting away from Clarke.

"Well, as long as you're staying safe and having a good time." With that, Abby walked away, Aden trailing behind her like a baby duckling. Clarke had curled up into a ball, trying her best to bury herself under every pillow available in the room.

"She's surprisingly calm about all of this," Lexa noted, plucking a pillow off of Clarke's head. Clarke let out an indignant squeal and snatched it back.

"What do you mean?" she said, her voice muffled underneath the impromptu pillow fort. Lexa lightly swatted her with one of the pillows.

"I showed up to take you to dinner a few months ago, then we started dating not much later, and now she's ready to assume that we're going to do it in the living room, in the middle of the day, yet she's extremely nonchalant about it. It's . . . nice, if a bit unsettling at times."

"Yeah. She's a cool mom."

" _Cool_ doesn't begin to describe it. She's a goddess."

"Well, that makes two people I know and deeply care about who see my mom as an ethereal being. Weird."

"Who's the other?"

"Raven. The two of them struck up some kind of friendship back when I was still in middle school. I think she was happier than she let on that I became friends with her the next year, even if we met in detention."

"Raven did something worthy of detention? That's not unexpected at all."

"Actually, she didn't. She was hanging out in the classroom where good ole' Pike held me and Octavia after school, and seeing how we didn't have much else to do, we started talking to her, and soon enough, the three of us were eating lunch together and sharing everything with each other, even after the . . . Finn Incident. Or the Finncident, as Raven calls it." Clarke smiled at the memory. "Lincoln showed up about halfway through freshman year, and it didn't take much for him to join us, too."

"It was that easy?" Lexa incredulously asked. "You didn't . . . you didn't have any kind of hesitation or fears associated with suddenly becoming part of this group?" Clarke blinked.

"Why would I? I already knew Octavia beforehand, Raven's the nicest person ever once you get to know her, and Lincoln is a giant teddy bear. They're a pretty cool group of people, really. We're a small family, I guess. It's nice."

"That sounds wonderful," Lexa murmured, and Clarke decided not to comment on the fact that Lexa's usual neutral expression had been replaced by a big, dopey smile. "I didn't have very many friends at my old school, admittedly." Lexa twiddled her thumbs nervously. "Would it . . . would it be alright if I joined you and your friends tomorrow? I mean, I would, uh, I'd hate to be keeping you away from them."

"I thought you'd never ask."

***

Lexa had not expected to feel such a rush of excitement as she woke up the next morning, absentmindedly grasping at a pillow. Aden seemed somewhat confused (and fairly tired, considering the fact that the sun hadn't even risen yet) but accepted Lexa's sudden change in demeanor with surprising grace.

"Are you gonna hang out with cool friend lady again today?" he asked on the bus as the elementary school came into view. A swift breeze blew through the bus, and Lexa nestled further into her sweater.

"Yes," she replied.

"Cool!" Aden squeaked, pumping his fist in the air. "She's awesome! Her mom's awesome, too! She says I'm cute and ruffles my hair sometimes! And she knows what a cartoon is!"

"I know what a cartoon is!" Lexa yelped, somewhat indignant.

"Yeah, but she _watches_ 'em. Apparently cool friend lady's really into these special ones, I think they're called . . . annie-somethings? I kinda forgot."

"I'll be sure to ask her," Lexa said, knowing exactly what Aden was talking about.

"Okay! Hey, this is my stop! See ya, Lexa!" Aden scampered off the bus with a gap-toothed grin on his face, lunch box swinging back and forth in his grubby hands, and Lexa felt the need once again to protect him from any dangers the world could hold. Her phone _doot-doot-doot_ ed in her pocket, but she ignored it.

"Stay safe!" she called. Aden was already halfway inside.

***

Clarke had barely managed to get out of bed, let alone get dressed, fear weighing heavily in her stomach as her phone felt as if it were burning a hole in her pocket. By the time she had left the house, the bus was already just about to leave, and she just hardly got on, sluggish and exhausted. She had forgotten to leave Heda in her room, and would have fallen asleep again on the bus with the stuffed raccoon in her arms had it not been for the driver's utter refusal to pay any attention to potholes. Arkadia came into view, and Clarke stumbled inside with the contents of her backpack spilling out behind her.

"Stay safe, kid!" the bus driver yelled. Clarke grunted in response, holding up her mug of coffee to acknowledge that she had heard him.

"Why do I feel so _crappy?_ " she said aloud, resting her hand on a staircase's sleek metal railing. "It can't be because I'm worried about Lexa, right?"

"Oh, _of course_ it's because you're worried about Lexa, coward!" Clarke groaned as soon as she heard the voice, that grating tone with such vanity held in it that made Clarke want to scream. "She needs an army to protect her, after all, the sweet princess - or should I say _cornmander_ \- who only cares about herself."

"What does that make you, then?" Clarke muttered, taking a long swig of her coffee. "Some kind of goddamn hero? What do you even have against Lexa, huh?" The sky was gray outside, rain pouring down and heavily pattering against the school's windows. "Did _she_ destroy something important to you?"

"I'll be pleasing Nia if I manage to knock her down one way or another," Ontari growled. There was venom in her voice, a coldness that made Clarke flinch despite the fact that Ontari wasn't intimidating in the slightest. "We all want to please someone, don't we, _Clarke?_ " Ontari spat out Clarke's name as if it were an insult.

"You're a spoiled teenager." Clarke wasn't about to trade insults with a freshman this early in the morning.

"You're a wannabe artist who pretends to hold the world on her shoulders in order to keep yourself grounded."

"Wait, how did you-"

"Zip up your backpack once in a while, Griffin. Your crap's everywhere." Ontari dangled a drawing of a field of flowers in front of her. "You're pathetic."

"You're expecting me to be hurt by that?" Clarke said. "You _do_ realize that I'm too tired to care, right? You're not even really a bully, you're just a-"

"Oh, this is cute. Kinda dumb-looking, like something a _dork_ would have around, but I guess it could be . . . fun." Clarke was just about to storm out before she saw the gray mass Ontari was holding in her other hand.

"Heda," she breathed. Clarke silently cursed herself for being so careless as to bring the stuffed animal to school, where this self-obsessed freshman held some kind of actual power. She cursed herself again for actually _caring_ about said stuffed animal.

"Oh, that's its name?" Ontari dangled Heda in front of Clarke's face before snatching her back, button eyes glinting in the dim light of the school. "Sounds pretty dumb, if you ask me."

"Give it back," Clarke said, feeling an odd hope that Ontari _would_ perhaps hear the wavering tone in her voice.

"Oh, and what if I-" Ontari's taunt was abruptly cut off by a glint of what could have been metal flashed in front of her, and Clarke silently fist-pumped.

"I bet you didn't see _that_ coming, huh?" Octavia drew the sword back and swung it behind her head, a cocky smirk on her face. "Seriously," she whispered. "Did you see me coming? I've been working on my stealth, y'know." Ontari's eyes flicked to the glinting sword.

"You wouldn't . . . you couldn't use that! Something like that can't be used in a school environment! They'll throw you out!"

"Oh, this?" Octavia held up the sword again. "Fake, as far as you and the school board are concerned." Ontari simply stood, her mouth agape.

"Was this all a big setup? Was it just some way to ensure a victory for Woods?"

"Not really," Clarke admitted. "Raven told me that Lexa had said something about how you didn't really have any morals-"

"Thanks."

"-and how you would probably try to personally target her friends. I think she was expecting something more like a fistfight, but this came close enough. I told Octavia here that coming to school early might, uh, help both of us with certain things."

"In this case, my stealth skills," Octavia said proudly, a hint of arrogance creeping into her voice.

"This is madness," Ontari growled, beginning to back away. "Complete, utter madness. My stepmother will have your heads, you know! She'll hear about what happened to her _dear little heir_ and then-"

"Oh, you mean how you stole a sophomore's toy and then another sophomore played around with a pretend sword? Yeah, super terrible. Speaking of which, I'll be taking that off your hands now." Octavia plucked Heda from Ontari's hands and tossed her to Clarke, who caught the stuffed animal with ease.

"Fools! All of you, you'll all regret it!" With that, Ontari dashed down the hallway, quietly cackling to herself.

"I'm not the only one who thinks she's bonkers, right?" Octavia whispered.

"Nope."

"Did I miss something?" Lexa asked, shuffling her feet on the carpeted floor. Clarke blinked. "I heard some commotion and-"

"Everything's fine, Lexa," Clarke said.

"Your wacko cousin tried to steal Clarke's stuffed raccoon," Octavia interjected. "I think we dealt with it, though." Lexa blankly looked from her to Clarke to the sword lying on the floor.

"Is that a real sword?" she asked. Octavia let out a nervous chuckle.

"Maybe."

"Your friends are still extremely strange, Clarke."

***

Lexa was excited, despite having every reason not to be, to spend her lunch period with Clarke and her friends.

 _I'm no longer feeling the burden of keeping Clarke away from others she cares about,_ she thought, trying to rationalize the light feeling in her chest. _My girlfriend - because she_ is _my girlfriend, unbelievable as that may seem - doesn't feel obligated to me anymore, which will hopefully get rid of any remaining tension from the talk about the election yesterday._ Lexa could feel her lips curling into a smile as she approached the spot on the grassy hill. _That's all. Nothing more._

"Hey, Lexa!" Raven yelled. "It took you long enough to join us, huh?" Clarke scooted over to make room as Octavia and Lincoln whispered what Lexa could only imagine were sweet nothings to each other.

"We don't bite," Octavia added. Lexa found her seat next to Clarke, smiling softly.

"They're kind of scary at first," Clarke said, "but I think you know by now that these people are actually the greatest group of _absolute nerds_ anyone could ask for."

"You've mentioned that before," Lexa murmured, letting herself lean against Clarke for warmth. "I've always known, you know. Your people . . . they seem trustworthy. I simply wasn't ready for them." Clarke kissed the crown of her head.

"Yeah, I figured." The sky overhead was still downcast, gray and dreary, yet Lexa felt a strange warmth within her, though whether it was from the feeling of being with the girl she was in love with or the little family that seemed to sit in this circle, she had no idea.

She had no idea at all, and she loved every second of it.

***

The group had more or less dispersed by the end of the lunch period, going their separate ways to classes, before Clarke saw Lexa whisper something to Raven.

"I'll see you later, Clarke," Lexa said, waving as she walked away with Raven. Clarke gave her a wink in response and was once again reminded of the fact that her girlfriend and her best friend had calculus together, and yet the fact seemed to sit fine with her. Lexa seemed to be having the time of her life alongside Clarke's friends, and she wasn't jealous in the slightest. No, she was happy - Lexa wasn't alone anymore, no longer sitting on rooftops with only plants to keep her company, and Clarke began to wonder if maybe her fear of things going wrong, the law of equivalent exchange, was simply an unfounded thought of paranoia.

"Yeah," she said aloud to the dark sky. "Yeah, maybe things are alright."

***

 _Aden is either entirely ignorant of any changes in demeanor, or he's just trying to be nice and not say anything regarding the matter._ Lexa mulled over which it could be as Aden skipped ahead of her on the short walk home, the bus speeding away behind the two.

"I heard about this super cool thing that's happening next year!" Aden chirped.

"What thing?" Lexa asked.

"You know my favorite movie, right?"

"Yes. How could I forget?"

"Well . . . it's getting a cartoon! Some kid at school said that was true, at least, but I dunno if she was telling the truth."

"It'd be best if you don't believe-"

"Dog!" Aden abruptly stopped in his tracks, excitedly pointing out something on the sidewalk ahead.

"I thought the movie was about a robot."

"No, look! There's a dog right there!" Sure enough, a large golden-furred dog sat several feet ahead, its pink tongue lolling out of its mouth.

"Careful, Aden," Lexa said, cautiously approaching the animal. Aden shared no such apprehension and raced ahead to pet the dog. It barked joyously, tail wagging so fast that Lexa wondered if a dog's tail could fall off.

"He likes me!" Aden squeaked. The dog licked him as if to confirm this. It seemed to be a stray, from what Lexa could see - no collar in sight, fur matted in places, ribs showing through - and yet its eyes shone brightly, still barking with joy. Aden began to walk ahead, giving the dog a farewell pat, and it immediately followed him. Lexa was at an utter loss as to what to do. The quiet _doot-doot-doot_ of her phone failed to snap her out of her thoughts until it had practically vibrated out of her pocket, and it was only then when she decided to finally check it.

**the best gf in existence: Lexa!**

**the best gf in existence: You left a bunch of your books at school.**

**the best gf in existence: Should I come over and drop them off?**

**Lexa: my brother has fallen in love with a stray dog**

**the best gf in existence: ...Okay.**

**Lexa: it won't stop following him and soon he's going to ask me if we can keep it and i won't be able to refuse**

**Lexa: please help**

**the best gf in existence: How does your uncle feel about pets? Maybe Aden /could/ keep it. It could teach him about responsibility and stuff.**

**Lexa: i doubt it**

**the best gf in existence: What do you want me to do about it?**

**Lexa: help**

**the best gf in existence: Specific.**

**Lexa: maybe you could also bring those books and that way it wouldn't just be you showing up on the sidewalk for no reason**

**the best gf in existence: I'll be there in fifteen minutes.**

***

"You're just going to drop everything and run to your girlfriend because she's experiencing a small problem, huh?" Raven said, leaning over Clarke's shoulder.

"The bus hasn't come yet," Clarke replied matter-of-factly. "It's not like I'm missing anything. I'll just get the next bus to Lexa's side of town and take a taxi home."

"You don't even _take_ the bus!" Octavia yelled, exasperated, as she threw her gloved hands in the air. Clarke and Raven turned to face her. "Your mom works at the school! She drives you home!"

"She needed to stay at school for a meeting," Clarke said. It wasn't a lie, in any case, but it also helped stop Octavia from protesting more. "I'm caught up with my homework, so it won't be a problem if I go out of my way for an hour to help Lexa with an unexpected stray dog."

"Do what you want," Octavia sighed. "All I can say is that you owe me, Clarke." Raven looked at both of them with confusion.

"Did I miss something?" she asked.

"That sword-obsessed maniac tried to kill me!" Clarke jumped at the sudden yell. Ontari stood with a scowl on her face, two seniors looming behind her.

"It was a fake sword," Octavia deadpanned. "If it had been real, you probably wouldn't be standing here."

"You'll pay for this!" Ontari spat.

"So you've said."

"I'm serious! You're all crazy! All of you!" Ontari seemed to tremble, nearly, though Clarke got the feeling that it wasn't really anger she was shaking from. She felt a strange pang of sympathy for the girl. "You pretend to be living in some ideal utopia, but what is it _really?_ Life's going to catch up to you someday, and then you'll be sorry! You'll be sorry that you ever hoped it'd be any good! We're all just pawns, you know, pawns in the plans of some crazy ruler who hangs above us."

"Now, now, aren't we quite the philosopher?" Raven said dryly. One of Ontari's cronies started chuckling, and she silenced him with a glare. "You're a weird kid, you know that?" Ontari gave Clarke one last withering glare before stalking off, head held high.

"I feel bad for her," Clarke murmured. Raven blinked.

"Why? Didn't she do some terrible thing to Lexa?"

"Yeah, she did, and I can't forgive her for that, but . . . she seems lonely." Clarke could still hear Ontari stamping on the ground, yelling unintelligible things to her two followers. "I don't think she really likes being all high-and-mighty. She's still a kid."

"We're all still kids," Octavia pointed out. "Lexa's the only one out of this entire friend group who even has a driver's license. Speaking of Lexa, you'd better get going. I doubt that dog's going to wait forever, y'know." Clarke nodded, giving Raven and Octavia a quick wave before setting off in the direction of the bus.

"She really is smitten, huh?" Raven sighed.

"Oh, she's a hopeless dork. I know one of my kind when I see one."

***

Clarke reached Lexa about twenty minutes later, out of breath and sweating despite the cold weather.

"Is the - _huff_ \- dog still - _hah_ \- here?" Lexa pointed ahead, where the dog now lay on the sidewalk with Aden petting it.

"He really does seem to like it," Clarke noted.

"I would let Aden bring it home if we were allowed," Lexa said, somewhat defensive.

"Uncle said that I could get a pet if I worked super hard in school!" Aden squeaked. "I've been working super hard, so maybe he'll let me keep him!"

"He meant a goldfish, not a gigantic dog." Aden looked at the dog again for a moment, apparently deep in thought, before perking up.

"I'll name him Fish, then!"

"I can't take him to the pound, can I?" Lexa whispered. "It would break Aden's heart."

"He's known the dog for two minutes," Clarke said, squeezing Lexa's hand reassuringly. "I think he'll live."

"He's lonely," Lexa countered. "A companion, even of the furry sort, could be good for him."

"You're going to just hide the dog for . . . uh, let's see, it's an adult golden retriever which means that it'll probably live for about eight more years? Eight years?"

"Our uncle doesn't spend very much time in the house. As long as Aden doesn't say anything and uses a good portion of his allowance on food and bedding and other such necessities, it won't be a very large problem."

"You just brought me here to witness your plan, you nerd." Clarke leaned in closer. "I guess I could help you bring Fish here back to your house."

"Are you two gonna do the kissing now?" Aden asked, practically slumped over the dog at this point. Lexa turned red.

"Yes," Clarke replied, and kissed Lexa on the cheek. "Now, I think there's a dog in need of a home." Fish let out a quiet _woof_ in what could have been agreement.

***

Lexa's house, Clarke soon realized, was significantly further away than she had first thought. At least, it seemed that way at the moment, with Aden stopping every few steps to give Fish a pat on the head.

"If this doesn't work out," Lexa whispered, "do you think your mother could be convinced to keep him, Clarke?" Clarke shook her head.

"Nope. She's allergic. Raven might, though."

"She would most likely blow the dog up."

"True."

"We're here!" Aden cheered, spreading his arms out in front of the Woods family's rather large house. "This is your new home, Fish!"

"You can come inside," Lexa offered. "It's the least we can do, considering how I dragged you here to help out with the dog situation."

"Yeah, c'mon, cool friend lady!" Aden was already halfway into the house, letting Fish bounce around his legs. Clarke shrugged.

"Oh, what the hell."

The dining room was eerily silent as Aden ran into the backyard with Fish at his heels. Lexa drummed her fingers on the wooden table.

"I heard about what happened this morning," she said. Then, after a pause, "in detail."

"Raven told you?"

"We attend a school comprised of about three hundred students, Clarke. News travels fast. Besides, I suppose a few of the freshmen have been . . . enjoying themselves, in regards to this supposed 'war' between Ontari and myself. Not very much happens at this school, from what I've seen. It's lovely - incredible, even, how caring of an environment it is, but sometimes people can't exactly appreciate that, and so they set out to create drama."

"They're idiots," Clarke muttered. She noticed idly that the house didn't have very much in the way of comfortable furniture - most of it seemed either shiny and brand-new or taken from an antiques shop in pristine condition. Metal chairs gleamed beside old grandfather clocks, and the only things that even indicated that a kid might live there were the occasional toy left on the spotless floor and the video games stacked around the television (unused, right now, on account of the fact that Aden was still playing with Fish in the backyard). Clarke shivered. "Who would _want_ problems to come up? It's not even a terrible thing, you're just running against-"

"I'm just running against a power-hungry freshman who cares about no one but herself, and she will leave us alone one way or another." Lexa's voice grew sharper, more commanding, and Clarke flinched. "It's not as big of a deal as people are making it out to be, so I don't think we should continue to bring it up in every conversation."

"You were the one who brought it up!"

"As pointless as this all is, as little power as Ontari holds, I don't want you to get hurt, Clarke." Lexa's voice softened, unclenching her fist from where it lay on the table. Clarke relaxed in her seat.

"I don't think she really wants to do this," Clarke murmured.

"What?"

"There was something . . . hesitant, in the way she was yelling at us today. Like she was afraid of us."

"Octavia threatened her with a potentially false sword. I would be afraid too."

"No, it wasn't really like she was afraid of us as people . . . more like the repercussions."

"She doesn't want to lose her reputation."

"She's a lost little kid."

"You change sides quite a bit, Clarke."

"I don't like seeing people get hurt."

"I've grown up, for as long as I can remember, knowing that I would someday inherit a corporation that nobody but my immediate family cared about. I don't care about it either, if you want the truth, but . . ." Lexa trailed off, voice shaking, and Clarke stood up from the ornate chair to wrap her in a hug. "I can't push that burden onto Aden, I _can't._ I wouldn't even wish it upon Ontari, as terrible as she can be sometimes." Clarke could see Aden nudging Fish into a shed, giving him one last pat on the head before closing the door.

"You bear it so they don't have to?"

"Something like that, yes."

"Who runs that company right now, anyway? I mean, you're still in high school, so . . ." Clarke began to absentmindedly run her fingers through Lexa's hair, suddenly feeling somewhat sleepy.

"At the moment, it's-"

Whatever Lexa was about to say was cut off by the creaking of the house's front doors as a looming figure stepped through. Clarke squinted, trying to figure out where she had seen the person in the doorway, before being abruptly shoved underneath the table by a shaking Lexa.

"What the hell?" Clarke whispered. "Lexa, what's going on?"

"Shh."

"Where is Aden?" the newcomer asked. Clarke's eyes widened.

"He's in the yard, Uncle," Lexa replied.

_Uncle?_

"I should see to him, then." Clarke caught a glimpse of the figure leaving the room, confirming her theory.

_"Mr. Chips?"_


	12. The Student Elections Arc

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> second-to-last chapter Heck Yeah. this fic never really had a coherent plot but it's gay and fluffy so that's ok i guess. this could sort of be considered the last chapter while the next one is more like an epilogue maybe? idk all i know is that this fic is a mess
> 
> also spot the anime references

Lexa felt guilty for pushing Clarke under the table, waiting for her uncle to leave, but she knew that it was needed on some level. After he had made his way upstairs, Lexa held her hand out to Clarke, who took it graciously.

"What was all of that about?" she sputtered. "Why did you hide me like I'm Aden's dog? Why doesn't he notice that I exist? More importantly, _your uncle is one of my teachers?_ "

"Yes."

"He's called me a delinquent! He hates everyone! You're telling me that guy is your _uncle?"_

"Yes, he is my uncle," Lexa said dryly. "Titus Fleim, legal guardian of Lexa and Aden Woods. He's rarely home, hence the reason why Aden clings to me as if I'm his mother. I don't resent him, he tries his best, but he hardly pays any attention to us unless it's regarding the future of the company."

"And the reason why you hid me from him was . . . what, exactly?"

"I haven't spoken to Costia in three years." Lexa let the words speak for themselves.

"I'm sorry."

"If it's not too much of a bother, do you think we could go to your house after school, in the future?"

"Yeah. You don't need to worry about it, Lexa. My mom likes you."

"Still, I wouldn't want to take advantage of her hospitality." Clarke laid a hand on Lexa's arm.

"You're _fine,_ okay? Don't forget that." Lexa looked out the window, where a light rain had begun to patter down.

"Do you need me to drive you home?" she asked. "I've heard that it gets cold around this time of year, I wouldn't want to cast you out in this weather."

"It's fine." Clarke dismissed the idea with a wave of her hand. "I've spent more time here than you have, I know how to get home." Just then, a flash of lightning lit up the dining room for a split second.

"I don't feel safe leaving you alone in a thunderstorm, Clarke."

"We hardly ever get thunderstorms, it's probably really far-" A deafening crash of thunder sounded at that moment, and Clarke let out a sigh. "Okay, okay. My mom wouldn't want me out in this weather either, I guess."

***

Lexa's car - or, her uncle's car, Clarke figured, though she couldn't be sure on account of how _filthily rich_ the Woods family seemed to be - was surprisingly cluttered, littered with Aden's toys and bent tissue boxes.

"We're not meant to use this unless it's an emergency or the weather is dangerous," Lexa explained, as if voicing Clarke's confusion. "It's not difficult to sneak it away, admittedly." Clarke rubbed at an unidentifiable stain on the dashboard.

"Mr. - uh, your uncle, he doesn't seem like the kind of person who'd leave all of his stuff around. Is this all yours?"

"I don't bother cleaning it," Lexa replied, adjusting the mirror. "Aden says that it makes the car a bit more . . . homely. I suppose I can understand where he gets that from."

"Huh." Clarke was silent for a moment as Lexa turned on the car and it screeched to life with a sudden slide out of the driveway. "Wait, Lexa, do you have a driver's license?" Lexa blinked.

"Of course I do, Clarke. Why would I drive if I-" A squirrel dashed into the road, and Lexa swerved to avoid it as Clarke held onto her seatbelt for dear life. "As I was saying, why would I drive if I didn't?" Clarke wasn't entirely convinced. "Anyway, Aden was telling me about those cartoons you enjoy. I've seen a few of them, you know." The car was still going unnervingly fast.

"Which ones did he-" _scree_ "-mention, exactly?" Lexa shrugged.

"I don't remember the exact titles, but I understood what he was talking about."

"Okay, just don't let him watch any of _oh my god there's a pole right there, Lexa!"_

"I know how to drive, Clarke," Lexa said calmly, narrowly avoiding the pole with a placid expression on her face.

"Maybe I should just take the bus or something, it's really rainy out here and it's probably clouding your vision or something."

"No, I'm actually just a terrible driver."

"That's not the kind of thing you're supposed to comfort people with!"

***

Lexa had, in fact, been on edge for the entire car ride, hoping and praying that she wouldn't cause any injury to Clarke. She tried not to let it show, but she got the feeling that Clarke knew how frightened she was, and she wondered for a moment if this would affect the relationship between the two of them - Clarke had just learned a secret that she, for whatever reason, was deeply unsettled by, and Lexa immediately jumped to the worst conclusion as gray rain poured from the skies outside.

"I'm sorry," she said, dodging avoiding another pole.

"For what?"

"For the . . . dangerous driving, as well as for keeping my uncle a secret."

"It's fine." Clarke loosened her grip ever-so-slightly on her seatbelt. "I never asked, so it's not like you were lying."

"Are we almost at your house?" Clarke peered ahead, a thick mist making it difficult to see anything.

"I think so. Keep going straight on this road." Lexa snorted.

"What?"

"You said _straight._ Neither of us are."

"Well, I can't argue with the facts." Clarke had let go of the seatbelt entirely, though the imprint of it still showed on her hands. "Okay, slow down here."

"Have we arrived?" Clarke looked ahead again.

"Yep. You can, uh, just drop me off here." Lexa slowed the car to a stop, breathing a sigh of relief at having successfully driven both of them through the storm.

"Did you pack an umbrella?"

"My house is ten feet away, Lexa. I'll be okay."

"If you insist." Lexa leaned in to give Clarke one last kiss on the cheek before she ran back to her front porch, hoisting her backpack over her head in an awkward attempt to stay dry. _She runs strangely,_ Lexa thought.

***

Clarke laid in her bed for a long time after that, her hair still dripping wet from the rain.

"It's normal to be worried, right, Heda?" she murmured. "Lexa's going to run some huge company when she's older, and where's that going to leave me?" Clarke rolled over to face the stuffed raccoon, the button eyes seeming to bore into her own. "I like her a lot, but this kind of thing can't last, can it? She was so nervous during that car ride, there must be something on her mind."

"Clarke?"

"Yeah, Mom?"

"Is everything alright? You've been cooped up in your room for the past few hours, I'm starting to get a little worried."

"Yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry." Clarke promptly slammed her face into a pillow.

***

Lexa was tired. The weekend, she thought, was an unexpected blessing - it gave her time to mull over things, time to try and decide what to do. The date of the student election loomed nearer, as did the holidays, but she couldn't be bothered to care.

"You've been super quiet lately," Aden noted one day, taking Fish out for a walk while Titus was away at some nondescript school board meeting. "Is everything okay?" Lexa looked down at the sidewalk, still damp from the rain.

"How old am I, Aden?" she murmured.

"You're sixteen! Uncle says that you're only two years away from . . . oh."

"It's such a small thing," Lexa chuckled. "I won't even be doing anything, not really - just overseeing useless numbers, nothing important. It's not a huge burden to bear, but I don't . . . I don't really want it."

"Hey, Lexa!" Aden wrapped his arms around Lexa in a sudden hug from behind, momentarily dropping Fish's leash. "It's okay! You've still got two years, and you don't even really have to do it!" Lexa blinked back tears.

"I don't?"

"Not if you really, really, completely don't want to!" Fish, surprisingly, didn't run away and instead stood at Aden's heel, thumping his tail excitedly. It occurred to Lexa that the dog had absolutely no idea what was happening.

"It's a family business. I'm the next in line. It seems fairly straightforward to me, Aden."

"Yeah, but you kept going on and on about how cool lady friend and her friends are like a little family, too!"

"Uncle calls them delinquents."

"Well, if he really thinks that, then Uncle's a . . . he's a . . ."

"Take your time."

"He's a super-duper crazy goofpants!" Aden squeaked. "Cool lady friend's _awesome!_ I'm sure that her friends are, too! The company'd be lucky to have one of 'em running it! Who cares if they're _dee-lin-kents?_ I actually started watching one of those annie-somethings about one, it was super cool! The main girl yelled a lot and-" Aden was stopped mid-sentence by Lexa holding him in a tight hug.

"Thank you, Aden," she murmured.

"I just said what was true!"

"And please, do me a favor and ask me before you watch any more shows that Clarke's recommended."

"Sure thing!"

***

The weekend, and the two weeks following it, passed in a blur. Before Clarke even really knew it, the Thanksgiving holidays had passed and news of the student election was pinned to the bulletin boards with technicolor thumbtacks.

"Your girlfriend's gonna kick Ontari's ass," Octavia noted, pulling down one of the flyers. "Those two are the only ones running, right?"

"Yep," Raven replied. "Neither of them seem to have set up much of a platform, though, so it seems like the speeches are gonna be the things that decide who the students vote for. Ontari's got the ninth grader vote, and Lexa's got . . . us, I guess?"

"She's practiced her speech at my house," Clarke said. "I'm no expert on public speaking, but Lexa could hold an entire room in silence from the very first word, if our living room sessions are anything to go by."

"Ah, looking at the beckonings of your demise?" Clarke didn't even need to turn around to know who it was.

"'Beckonings' isn't even a real word!" Octavia snapped.

"Oh, but does that really matter?" Ontari still wore a cocky sneer, though Clarke couldn't help but notice that there was some kind of hesitation behind it. It was difficult for her to seem intimidating with a platter of muffins in her arms, but she still stood as if she held the entire world in that muffin tray. "I'm going to _destroy_ Woods, do you understand that?"

"You can try." Clarke, at that moment, _really_ wanted to knock the muffin tray out of her hands.

"I _will_ try. And I _will_ win. I'm going to _break_ her, do you understand that? Then, _then,_ she'll hand over the Nightblood Corporation and it'll finally be _mine!"_

"You can have it." Clarke looked up to see Lexa standing at the top of a flight of stairs, her eyes downcast. "That is, if you're prepared to take on the responsibility. It's an outdated system, in any case. The next in line, firstborns, it's all somewhat ridiculous. They should really judge by who's the most competent."

"There's some trickery involved here, I can smell it!" Ontari snapped. "You wouldn't give it away so earnestly, not when your entire family has been building it for generations!"

"I don't care." Lexa descended the stairs with surprising grace, considering the fact that she was holding a casual conversation at school early in the morning.

"Look at her, watching us peasants from up high," Octavia muttered. Raven elbowed her. "What? She's nice, I just get pissed when people stand like that."

"Your uncle won't stand for this! He knows that you're the best for the job, or whatever garbage it is that you people use to excuse us getting left out of it!"

"I don't want it," Lexa said, her voice steely and unfeeling. Clarke shuddered, despite herself - it was difficult, she realized, to see this woman atop the stairs as the same girl who analyzed _High School Musical_ and blushed every time Clarke held her hand.

"If I beat you in the election, will you hand it over? Will you admit defeat, Woods?"

"I've told you, Ontari, you can have it either way. I don't . . . I don't have any interest in the responsibility it holds." Lexa's voice wavered for a moment, and Clarke wondered exactly _why_ she was doing this. "I'd like to think that my life holds other things in store, things that don't involve sitting in a stuffy office somewhere in a high-rise without much else to fill my life."

"Growing desperate, now, are we?"

"I'll go get the popcorn," Raven whispered. Clarke glared at her.

"If it affects your ego one way or another, then you can pretend that I 'admitted defeat.'"

"That's cheating!" Ontari shot back. "How can I be sure that you're not just lying?"

"You want this, don't you? I'm handing it over, or at least to the extent I can at this point. Titus - my uncle - he has no idea that this is happening, and you'll need to keep it a secret. Once I'm an adult, it'll belong to you. Two years, and it'll belong to you. Would that be alright?" Lexa's voice was beginning to lose its edge, softening as she looked at the younger girl. Ontari fumed in her spot, thumping a booted foot on the carpet.

"We'll talk about this after I've beaten you into the ground at the election," she muttered, beginning to shake again. "I'm not letting you get away with this, whatever it is!" With that, Ontari stamped away, her shoes thudding against the floor. Lexa sat down on one of the steps.

"What was all that about?" Octavia asked.

"I'm the next in line to inherit a rather large company. I don't want it, and she does. That's all there is to it." Clarke could see that Lexa was sweating, and she quietly tried to wave Octavia and Raven away.

"Hey, O, why don't we go . . . somewhere else?" Raven blurted out. "Wouldn't want these two lovebirds distracting us from our schoolwork, right?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever." Clarke waited until the two of them were out of earshot to talk to Lexa again.

"Seriously, Lexa, why did you do that?" she whispered. "Are you okay? Do you need me to take you to my mom?" Lexa shook her head.

"I don't want a future like this."

"Like what?"

"There's something alluring about power, something that draws Ontari and her stepmother to it against all reason, but what does it really _do,_ in the greater scheme of things? The Nightblood Corporation doesn't do anything. It's not important, not really, it's merely a computer company that got lucky and ended up with a rather large sum of money. I thought that I'd be fine with running it when I was older, I figured better me than Aden or even Ontari, but . . . I just don't want that anymore. It's lonely. You're expected to stay in your lane, away from the limelight, away from everyone. You don't see the word Nightblood in newspapers because it goes by the book and never causes scandals."

_She's talking about Costia,_ Clarke realized, though she remained silent. Lexa looked over at Raven and Octavia, who stood at the vending machine several feet away as they lightheartedly argued over which bag of chips to buy. Lincoln had shown up at some point, and Octavia held his hand.

"You were right, Clarke. Ontari is just a child. Perhaps she doesn't fully understand it yet, but I suppose she'll figure out soon enough that power isn't all that matters in this world." Octavia was trying to pry something out of the vending machine with her sword, now, while Raven held up her microwave to show to Lincoln.

"Won't your uncle be mad?" Lexa shrugged, allowing herself a brief crooked smirk. Clarke had never been more in love.

"Well, in the words of Aden - if he is, then he's really just a super-duper crazy goofpants."

***

**Lexa: anya**

**Lexa: i did something horribly reckless and by all accounts somewhat troubling**

**Anya (cell phone): I don't even know what you did but I'm proud.**

**Lexa: there is a chance that i have destroyed my future because i am an emotional high schooler**

**Lexa: i have given up everything because i don't want a well-paying office job**

**Lexa: don't congratulate me**

**Anya (cell phone): Dude, if I had /half/ the courage you had, I probably wouldn't be hiding in the corner of my own dorm while my roommates threw the SEVEN MILLIONTH PARTY THIS GODDAMN SEMESTER**

**Anya (cell phone): I am going to fight every single frat bro, I swear to god, and then I am going to fight my roommates, and then I am going to ask the dean for new roommates next semester because otherwise someone is going to die and it won't be me.**

**Anya (cell phone): Anyway.**

**Anya (cell phone): What did you even /do/?**

**Lexa: i handed over the nightblood corporation to ontari**

**Anya (cell phone): That weird cousin of yours?**

**Anya (cell phone): The one who outed you to your uncle?**

**Lexa: yes**

**Anya (cell phone): ...why**

**Lexa: because i realized**

**Lexa: it would be lonely**

**Lexa: people say i'm a natural-born leader**

**Lexa: but she's the one who's rallied people behind her despite being absolutely terrible**

**Lexa: all i do is scare people when i don't mean to**

**Lexa: there are things more important than power**

**Anya (cell phone): This sounds like a goddamn Lifetime movie.**

**Anya (cell phone): Let me guess, someone's going to get a puppy next.**

**Lexa: aden adopted a stray dog a few weeks ago**

**Anya (cell phone): I WAS MAKING A JOKE**

**Lexa: i would be lying if i said i wasn't worried**

**Anya (cell phone): No dip, Sherlock.**

**Anya (cell phone): You just gave your family's legacy to an emo kid with no morals.**

**Anya (cell phone): Still . . .**

**Anya (cell phone): I can't help but be proud.**

**Anya (cell phone): It's cheesy, I know, but all of the best things in life are.**

**Anya (cell phone): The power of love, the power of friendship, it's all so dumb and yet there's something great in it.**

**Anya (cell phone): Live your life, you tiny useless lesbian.**

**Anya (cell phone): If your uncle wants to force you to run the company, he'll need to go through me first.**

**Lexa: thank you**

Lexa held the phone to her chest as she took a deep breath, waiting for the signal to begin her speech. Clarke gave her a thumbs-up from the back of the small auditorium.

"Now," the principal - a tall, kindly man with a scruffy beard who acted as somewhat of a father to the students - said, his voice casting across the room. "We only have two people competing for the position at the moment. Lexa Woods?" The principal stepped off of the stage. Lexa gulped, willing herself to pretend that there weren't three hundred people staring directly at her. The papers in her hand felt like boulders, the room was spinning, and yet she started her speech anyway. _They deserve that much, she thought._

"I began attending this school in the fall," she began. "I wasn't expecting very much, to be honest. I had heard that it was small, friendly, well-managed. Yet, all schools brag of things like that. There was no reason for me to expect Arkadia to be any more than a place to spend three tired years with people I hardly had a chance to know." Lexa could feel her hands dropping the paper with plans for free tampons and therapy dogs, letting it float and flop to the floor, though she wasn't entirely aware of her decision to perform the action - much like how one could do things in dreams they never would do in the waking world despite the dream seeming as real as could be.

"What's she _doing?"_ Raven whispered. Clarke shrugged.

"I was wrong." Something in her mind was screaming, _begging_ her to stop, to pick the paper back up, but she continued. "I was so very wrong, and since arriving here I've met some truly amazing people. I won't exaggerate and say that they taught me the meaning of being human, or anything as extravagant as that, because then I'd be lying. No, all they did was show me that high schoolers are idiots, and that they're the most incredible, heartfelt idiots anyone could ask for. I would be hard-pressed to remember anyone quite as incomprehensible back home, anyone who would bring a real sword to school or build a microwave from useless scraps or watch all of _Sailor Moon_ in one sitting." The students all looked to each other in confusion, most likely wondering what this strange girl was rambling about.

"I thought that I could make this school better, perhaps, by joining the student council, but there aren't many foreseeable ways in which I could make it better. I deal with the future, long-term planning, not the frantic, wonderful spur-of-the-moment type things we have here." Lexa took in another deep breath. "That's why I'm choosing to step down from this election. There are other things I care about a bit more."

_"Yes!"_ Ontari sprang from the crowd, the happiest Lexa had ever seen her. "Oh, you'll all soon feel my wrath! I've won! I've finally, finally won!" Lexa smiled, patting her on the shoulder before joining Clarke and her friends in the corner.

"You quit?" Clarke whispered. Ontari was beginning to give her acceptance speech, a strange ramble about how she was about to have 'absolute power,' but Lexa was too absorbed in the moment to care. Suddenly, without hesitation, she took Clarke's face in her hands and kissed her. She felt as wonderful as always, like fireworks and blue skies and warmth in the middle of winter, and Lexa thought that nothing could ever top what she felt in that very second.

***

"Clarke?" Clarke looked up from her homework to see her mother standing over her, carrying a stack of folders.

"Yeah?"

"I wasn't expecting your girlfriend to do something like that. She had it in the bag, you know. We had to review the speeches beforehand, to make sure that the students didn't plan on crowdsurfing or anything like that, and the freshman just handed in a bunch of nonsense, promising that she was playing by the rules and writing in her 'secret language.' She's an ambitious kid, though. I don't doubt that she'll do well on the council."

"Are you proud?"

"Of course I'm proud, Clarke. Lexa's brave. She's a good person, I think you two are going to be very happy together. Not to mention the fact that Aden isn't the worst son-in-law a woman could have."

_"Mom,"_ Clarke groaned, feeling her cheeks turn red. "It's not like we're getting married or anything."

"Just wait, Clarke. The two of you are smitten, I can tell. Now, I think I heard your phone buzzing upstairs. You might want to check it before it vibrates itself off the table." Clarke didn't need another excuse to dash upstairs, picking up Heda from where she had fallen on the floor before checking her phone.

**~the dream meme team~**

**the literal bomb: so.**

**the literal bomb: how about lexa's speech?**

**SWORD WOMAN: i was just stunned by the fact that none of the teachers said anything to me about my sword afterwards!**

**SWORD WOMAN: guess that means i can bring it around**

**SWORD WOMAN: whenever i want!**

**SWORD WOMAN: }:)**

**SWORD WOMAN: hell yeah**

**the literal bomb: they were probably more concerned about the ninth grader winning the highest position of power in that puppet government of theirs.**

**the literal bomb: oh well.**

**the literal bomb: i'll be out of there in a year and a half, anyway.**

**the literal bomb: unlike you two.**

**Clarke: Hey.**

**the literal bomb: oh hi clarke.**

**SWORD WOMAN: we were just talking about how RAD your girlfriend is!**

**SWORD WOMAN: :P**

**Clarke: Yeah, I saw.**

**the literal bomb: speaking of which, did you ask her about the whole nightblood corp thing?**

**Clarke: Yep.**

**Clarke: It's fine.**

**Clarke: She's fine.**

**Clarke: More than fine, actually.**

**Clarke: She's happy.**

**SWORD WOMAN: well, if our dear friend kidz bop bring me to life doesn't end up liking the position of nightblood corp ceo, then i'm always here!**

**SWORD WOMAN: ;)**

**the literal bomb: i'm also here, with actual knowledge of economics and how to build things.**

**SWORD WOMAN: we'll both be ceos then, how about that?**

**Lexa: that sounds like a good backup**

**the literal bomb: wait.**

**SWORD WOMAN: LEXA?**

**SWORD WOMAN: when did you let her in here clarke?**

**Clarke: Earlier this afternoon.**

**the literal bomb: great, now i get to listen to you two being all adorable and cuddly over text, too.**

**SWORD WOMAN: you never complained about adding lincoln on the chat!**

**the literal bomb: he never talks!**

**the literal bomb: one time i asked him if he needed a ride home and he said 'yeah' and that is literally the extent of our text conversations!**

**the literal bomb: if you two acted half as cute as you do at school on here then i would not hesitate to block both of your asses.**

**Lexa: is this how they always text**

**Clarke: Yep.**

**Lexa: ...**

**Lexa: it's nice**

**Lexa: i like it**

**Lexa: a lot**

**Lexa: thank you, clarke**

**Clarke: I love you too.**

**the literal bomb: it's starting already, isn't it?**


	13. An Epilogue, Perhaps?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> maybe the real high school musical was the friends we made along the way

Lexa had not been expecting the question when she stayed over at Clarke's house for the night after a long day of studying. Really, she should have expected it - Clarke was the type to do these things without much warning - and yet she was still surprised.

"Lexa?"

"Hmm?"

"Would you . . . would you want to go camping over writer break?"

"My closest- my _only_ friend from back home is coming down here for the holidays. I can't just abandon her." The lights were off, Lexa couldn't see anything but Clarke's form loosely moving around in her bed.

"You could invite her along, too," Clarke mused, her voice heavy with sleep.

"Anya? I doubt that she would enjoy being the third wheel to our relationship in the middle of the woods."

"I'm asking the rest of the group, not just you and her. She wouldn't be alone in being the third wheel, at least."

"You make a compelling argument, but what about Aden? I can't leave him alone."

"Hell, bring him too. The more the merrier, that's how I see it." Lexa hadn't noticed it before, but Clarke had dozens of glowing plastic stars on her ceiling, casting the room in a sort of dim, surreal light. She figured that they would be shining more brightly if Abby hadn't insisted on keeping the door open.

"I'll ask my uncle."

"Mmf . . . cool . . ." Clarke let out a snore, and Lexa smiled to herself. Heda fell off of Clarke's bed a few moments later, landing squarely on Lexa's head, but she simply set the stuffed animal aside, gingerly giving her a small pat before drifting into sleep herself.

***

Clarke awoke the next morning with her blankets thrown askew, half of them covering Lexa and the other half tangling Clarke in her own bed.

"Crap," she whispered, hoping not to wake Lexa as she slowly pulled herself from the nest she seemed to have made in her sleep. Lexa quietly stirred, making a muffled hrm. Clarke's expression softened, watching Lexa sleep in peace. This moment of peace was abruptly interrupted when Clarke moved forward slightly and suddenly found herself toppling onto Lexa. "I'm sorry!" she yelped. Lexa blinked.

"Clarke?" Lexa, surprisingly, seemed unaffected by the awkward position she was in.

"I was just trying to untangle myself from the blankets," Clarke said in one breath, wondering briefly why she felt herself getting warmer and more embarrassed by the second when she and Lexa were _dating,_ when they had nothing to hide, when-

_"What are you girls doing?"_

_Oh. That's why._

"Clarke rolled over in her sleep, Ms. - erm, Abby," Lexa mumbled, pushing Clarke off of her sleeping bag with what seemed to be a forced smile. "We certainly weren't doing anything that could be considered non-PG-13. Not at all."

"She isn't convinced," Clarke whispered, nervously looking to her mother. Lexa didn't seem to hear her, though the fact that she was currently on the floor probably contributed to that.

"You're a great kid, Lexa, really, but please understand that I don't want Clarke getting into anything she's not ready for." Clarke was, to say the least, mortified. "You know, she just broke up with a guy a little under a year ago. I hated him, but still." Clarke snatched Heda from her spot at the edge of the carpet and smushed her face into the stuffed animal.

"Finn Collins?"

"Yeah, him. He was Raven's closest confident for _years,_ her best friend, and then he just up and cheats on her because he thought she had moved away. Unbelievable." Clarke wondered if it was possible for carpets to swallow people whole, and if so, if this one could do that right about now.

"Yes, she's told me that he wasn't a particularly good person."

"Ha, that's an understatement! Anyone who won't own up to the fact that they have a secret that could hurt people isn't the kind you'd want to be around, in my opinion."

_My mom and my girlfriend are discussing my love life. This can't be happening._

"In any case, Abby, I should probably get going. My uncle will be expecting me home soon." Lexa took Clarke by the hand, and Clarke practically dragged her downstairs as soon as the two passed her mom.

"I thought I was gonna die," Clarke muttered, blankly staring at the floor. "I think I'm traumatized now."

"Your mom didn't kick me out." Lexa sat down. "She wasn't even particularly mad."

"That's my mom for you. She's protective, sure, but she knows what's going on. She's a good person."

"Yeah." Lexa reached for Clarke's hand again. "I think . . . I think I'd like to go camping with you, if that's alright."

"That'd be great." Lexa, still seemingly half-asleep, leaned on Clarke's shoulder with a smile on her face. "That . . . that would be amazing."

***

**Lexa: anya**

**Anya (cell phone): You do realize that you don't need to say my name every time you're asking me for something, right?**

**Anya (cell phone): Nobody else uses my phone.**

**Lexa: do you have any plans for winter break this year?**

**Anya (cell phone): I'll check.**

Lexa sincerely doubted that Anya would actually go along with the plan, but she figured that it would be best to try anyway.

**Anya (cell phone): Nope.**

**Anya (cell phone): Aside from visiting you.**

**Lexa: that was what i was going to ask about**

**Anya (cell phone): What, you want quality time with your girlfriend or something?**

**Lexa: in a way**

**Lexa: but it wouldn't just be the two of us**

**Lexa: clarke is inviting me on a camping trip**

**Lexa: along with three of her friends and aden**

**Lexa: she said it would be fine if you came along too**

**Anya (cell phone): Well, that /is/ an appealing offer . . .**

**Anya (cell phone): Who's driving?**

**Lexa: i don't know**

**Anya (cell phone): They can't be worse than you, though.**

**Lexa: is that a yes**

**Anya (cell phone): Are you kidding?**

**Anya (cell phone): I wouldn't miss that for the world.**

***

The semester closed out with a sentimental speech from Principal Kane (he was on the brink of tears, Clarke realized once her mother had politely escorted him from the stage), and Lexa nervously looked out the window, down at the playing field.

"Are you worried about something?" Clarke asked after most of the students had left, yelling _"freedom!"_ and running for the buses with whoops of joy. Raven, Octavia, and Lincoln had already left, promising to save her a spot whoever they went to lunch.

"I've been thinking about what you said a while ago."

"You'll need to be more specific." Clarke hopped onto the cushion next to Lexa, watching tiny snowflakes float down outside.

"About the laws of equivalent exchange. What if something terrible happens soon, all because we've been happy?"

"Is this about Ontari? Because that was unbelievably brave, you know. You shouldn't worry about that."

"No, it's not just her. Things have been going so well, I'm beginning to wonder if someone's going to turn on us or I'll die or Aden will get hurt. It would only be fair, after all."

"Hey, so what if something bad _does_ happen? We'll still have the good times to look back on, and if there really is some invisible scale determining whether we'll be happy or not, then doesn't that mean we'll be happy again soon enough? You should save the worrying for the bad times, that's the way I see it." Lexa chuckled.

"When did you become a philosopher of the highest order, Clarke?"

"Probably around the same time you became the cornmander."

" _Please_ stop bringing that up, our group still hardly has any kind of functional government in place."

"Does anyone's, though?"

"Probably not."

The two didn't end up going to lunch, instead just talking the day away as the staff dropped off leftover folders and hats in the lost and found.

***

"Hey, did someone order a tired, jaded college student for the holidays?" Lexa perked up, dropping her worn-out copy of _The Price of Salt_ (now even more battered) to rush to the door. "It's cold as hell out here, you know." Lexa flung open the door to see Anya on the porch with a crooked smirk on her face, bundled in what looked to be at least two trenchcoats.

"Anya!" Aden shrieked, barreling past Lexa to hug Anya's leg. She ruffled his hair affectionately, setting down her bags.

"Hey, kiddo," she chuckled. "You've grown a ton since last time I saw you."

"Yeah, I'm getting super strong!" Aden squeaked. "Lexa says I'm gonna be taller than her soon!"

"I'll believe that when I see it."

"Just watch me!"

"Oh, yeah, I got you something." Anya dug through her bag to find a tiny box wrapped in old newspapers. "It's nothing fancy, but I think you'll like it." Aden didn't even pause to take off the wrapping, simply running through the house as he held the gift above his head in triumph. "That'll get him out of our hair for a while."

"It's a little cube thingy!" Aden yelled from the other room. "Thanks, Anya!" Anya plopped down on the nearest chair.

"Doesn't he ever wear you out?" she asked. "It can't be easy with someone like _Titus_ as his only other caretaker." Anya spat out the name _Titus_ with disgust, and Lexa couldn't really blame her.

"I'm all he has," Lexa murmured. "I don't want him to get hurt, and that's enough motivation for me."

"Yeah, well, give yourself some time to yourself once in a while, alright?"

"I do, and I will. Speaking of which, you haven't mentioned the camping trip once since you arrived."

"I've been here for five minutes, I was getting to that! But, yeah, the camping trip. If I remember correctly, you're going with your girlfriend, your brother, and three of your girlfriend's friends?"

"You're coming as well."

"Any adult supervision?"

"You're the adult supervision, Anya."

"And you're going _camping in the beginning of winter._ "

"Yes."

"You're not worried about . . . freezing to death, or something?"

"Clarke knows how to build a fire."

"When do we leave?"

"Well, I was just about to tell you that-" Lexa was interrupted, rather suddenly, with the loud screech of a car outside. She rushed to the door, praying that she wouldn't find Fish lying dead in a driveway. A silver minivan was haphazardly parked on the street, and Raven slowly got out. "We leave now, apparently."

"Hey, Lexa!" she yelled, waving frantically. "Are you ready? You're the first house I've stopped for, you know!"

"Who _is_ that?" Anya whispered. Lexa smiled.

"I suppose you could call her my friend." Aden was already halfway out the door with Fish running behind him, a small backpack on his shoulders. Lexa and Anya weren't far behind.

"The dog doesn't get a ride," Raven said.

"If he doesn't get to go, then I won't go either!" Aden squeaked.

"Aden, I'm sure that Fish will be fine without you for a few days," Lexa murmured. Fish thumped his tail on the pavement.

"I'm not going anywhere without him. What if Uncle finds him and sends him to the pound? He'd be really scared without us!"

"The kid's got a point," Anya flippantly said, still appearing somewhat stunned at how fast the trip was progressing.

"Fine," Raven muttered. "Only if _Fish_ here promises to behave, though, okay? _And_ he needs to sit in the back, I don't want dog fur on my seats."

"Yes, ma'am!" Aden hopped into the back of the car with Fish in tow. Lexa was just about to join them in the back when Raven grabbed her arm.

"I need to make sure that my brother is safe," Lexa hissed. "I'm sorry if I can't sit closer to the front." Raven blinked.

"What?"

"I figured that was the reason why you grabbed me, because-"

"Lexa," Raven murmured, looking Lexa dead in the eye. _"Why didn't you tell me about your attractive best friend before this?"_ Lexa looked to Anya, who was at the moment fiddling with the car's cupholders as she tried to shove three mugs of coffee down one of them.

"Anya?"

"No, your brother's dog. Of course I meant Anya."

"It never came up?" Lexa phrased it like a question, though she wondered why she had done that as soon as the words left her mouth.

"You could've said something like 'oh, my best friend happens to be _really goddamn pretty,_ some kind of warning, _anything._ I'm compromised, Lexa."

"I'm sure that you'll survive," Anya said dryly, clearly hearing everything. Raven didn't seem to take much notice.

"I want her to murder me with her cheekbones," Raven whispered. Anya had succeeded in shoving the mugs into the cupholder, and she let out a triumphant _hmph_ as Raven climbed into the driver's seat.

"You're the driver, huh?" Anya raised an eyebrow. Raven took a deep breath.

"Yep," she said. "I'm also the oldest of this group of nerds, so it'd be best if you stayed on my, ahem, good side." Lexa could hardly hear the conversation from her position at the back of the car, squashed between Aden and Fish, but she could figure out what was happening easily enough. "Next stop, the Blake residence!"

"I feel like I've heard that name before," Anya mused. Lexa was trying, unsuccessfully, to get Fish to stop licking her face as the minivan sped down the road.

"Who _hasn't_ heard of Octavia, honestly?" Raven sighed, and Lexa desperately wished that she was sitting just a bit closer so that she could tell Raven to stop dreamily staring at Anya and to keep her eyes on the road. "Anyway, what kind of stuff do you do?"

"Well, I'm a college freshman suffering through a group of roommates who might've been placed on this earth solely to annoy me, for one."

"Great! I'm only a year and a half away from that, so do you have any tips?" Anya stopped watching the road for a moment to look Raven dead in the eye.

"Don't die," she muttered. Raven blinked.

"Okay! I'll keep that in mind!" Lexa let out a sigh as Fish settled in her lap. "Hey, what do you know? We've reached O's house already. I'll go inside, wait here, okay?" Raven turned off the car and opened its door, carefully getting down onto the rough sidewalk.

"What happened to her leg?" Anya asked as soon as Raven was out of earshot.

"I don't know," Lexa truthfully replied. "We're friends, but she isn't particularly willing to tell me things about her life."

"Hey, O!" Raven yelled. Octavia shoved open the cracked glass window of her house, hopping out with a small knapsack and the ever-present sword hanging on her shoulders.

"I'm here!" Octavia yelled back, and Lexa wondered why the two were still yelling despite standing just a few feet away from each other. "Lincoln's here, too!" Lincoln stepped out the door, giving a small wave when he saw the car. Anya nearly fell out of her seat.

_"Lincoln?"_ she said. "You're here too?" Raven clambered back into the minivan as Octavia and Lincoln found their places in the backseat.

"Anya?"

"Wait, you two know each other?"

"Yeah!" Anya replied, surprisingly enthusiastic. "We used to hang out all the time when we were kids, remember? We've kept in touch over the years, but I haven't seen you in forever! How have you been?"

"I've been doing well." Octavia hadn't let go of Lincoln's arm since entering the car, casually tossing her things into the back. Lexa ducked to avoid the sword, only to get hit squarely in the face with Octavia's knapsack.

"I can see that," Anya sighed, adjusting the car's mirror. "And I'm guessing that the sword-wielding kid is the _legendary_ Octavia Blake, then?"

"Yep!" Octavia chirped. "The one and only!"

"Yeah, well, now that we're done with the introductions, I guess we should head to the last stop and finally get on the road, huh?" Raven said. Anya raised an eyebrow.

"The last stop? There are _more_ of you?" Lexa would have been insulted at the comment if she hadn't been busy keeping Octavia's sword away from Aden.

"Yep. Lexa's _dear, darling_ girlfriend, actually," Raven replied in a sing-song voice. "Oh, man, you haven't seen how smitten those two are. They're even fluffier than the strong pair back there, believe it or not." Octavia was resting on Lincoln's shoulder, occasionally letting out little noises whenever the car hit a bump. "It's a hard life, being single in a group of painfully adorable couples. It's hell, really."

"Oh, I can relate," Anya chuckled. "I can't tell you how many idiots my roommates have dated this semester _alone._ I've been keeping a whiteboard with an 'it has been this many days since Anya found a frat boy in her bed' counter on it, and the record is five days. I found someone hiding underneath the couch in the middle of that week, too."

"That's rough, buddy." Raven hit the brakes as Clarke's neighborhood came into view, and Lexa had to steady herself against Fish to not be knocked forward. Clarke was already sitting on the porch, waving goodbye to Abby as she headed to the minivan.

"I thought you didn't have a license!" she yelled to Raven, tossing her things into the back.

"I just told you that so you wouldn't ask me for rides all the time!" Clarke let out an indignant huff.

"I only would've done it if there was a real emergency," she muttered.

"Sure, Jan," Anya deadpanned. Lexa stared at her. "What? I hear that dumb meme every other day, I figured I could at least claim it for myself." Clarke jabbed a finger in Anya's direction.

"Who's she?" Anya bristled.

"I'm Lexa's best friend, and if you hurt her, I'll take you to the tallest building this side of the country and buy you a private tour to the top so that I can _kick you off."_

"Nice," Raven whispered. Lexa managed to reach far enough to hold Clarke's hand, blushing when she squeezed it. Octavia had woken up and was starting to readjust her position, curling into Lincoln's oversized coat. "So, that's everyone," Raven continued. "Ready?"

"Aye aye, captain," Clarke said. Lexa gave her a nod, Aden pumped his fist in the air, Anya grunted, and Lincoln pointed to Octavia, who seemed to be trying to go back to sleep.

"Let's go, then!"

***

Raven really should have expected this, Clarke thought as the minivan inched forward in the wintertime traffic. It was the beginnings of the holidays, of _course_ there would be people traveling to visit their families, to go on vacations and leave their homes. _Of course._ Octavia was still fast asleep, Lexa had been holding onto Clarke's hand for so long that it had gone numb (not that she was complaining) and Anya and Raven seemed to be the only people actually enjoying themselves, in their own way.

"What happened to your leg?" Anya asked about a half-hour into the midst of the traffic jam. Raven shrugged.

"Accident. Nothing horrible. I try not to let it bother me too much."

"That's admirable." The car would return to complete silence for a while after that. It continued like this for about three hours, and Clarke was very close to snapping.

"Hey!" Aden squeaked, pausing in his efforts to telepathically communicate with Fish. "You guys have phones with you, right?" Clarke nodded. "What if we watch one of those _ann-uh-mays_ that cool lady friend likes and-" Anya turned around to fix Aden with a death glare. Clarke couldn't help but be reminded of an owl.

"There will be no anime in this vehicle," she whispered hoarsely.

"I'm going to marry this woman someday," Raven said, almost too quiet to be heard.

***

Lexa would have been lying if she had said that she wasn't unbelievably relieved when the traffic let up and the minivan soared down the highway, snow lightly falling outside.

"How long do you think it'll be until we arrive?" she asked, nearly yelling in order to be heard by Raven.

"Another hour!" Raven yelled back. "The good news is that nobody goes into the middle of the forest in the winter, so we'll have the whole place to ourselves!"

"Do we have tents?" Clarke asked, significantly quieter so not to wake Octavia. Raven snorted.

"Of course we have tents," she scoffed. "Why wouldn't we have tents?"

"You forgot the tents, didn't you?" Anya muttered.

"Well . . . yes and no."

"That's not ominous at all."

"Okay, so I _might_ have tried to test whether they were fireproof . . . by lighting one on fire . . . and it wasn't fireproof. On the bright side, we still have one tent that's unscathed!"

"Ah, yes, that makes _everything_ better," Anya retorted. "Seven people and a dog in one tent. That won't be a problem at all."

"They're big tents!"

"Some of us could sleep in the car," Lincoln suggested.

"I volunteer," Anya said. "I'd rather be kind of uncomfortable than end up wedged between six other people."

"Does anyone else want to join our brave, selfless leader here?" Raven asked.

"Can I volunteer Fish?" Lexa said.

"I don't see why not."

_"Lexa,"_ Aden whined. "I don't wanna sleep without Fish! What if he gets lonely?" Lexa rested a hand on her brother's shoulder.

"Fish will be fine," she said. "He'll have Anya with him, I don't think that anyone would be lonely with Anya." Aden seemed to mull over this for a moment before modding eagerly.

"Okay!" he squeaked. "It'd be like a sleepover for him, right?"

"Sure." Clarke let out a chuckle. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing, it's just . . . you're really cute, you know that?"

"I doubt I'm as cute as you."

"If I wasn't driving right now, I'd slam my face on the steering wheel," Raven muttered.

***

There was a collective sigh of relief from the car when it left the highway, suburbs and trees replacing walls and pavement.

"We're almost here!" Aden cheered. Fish licked Lexa on the cheek, earning him a glare from Clarke.

"I could do you one better," she whispered, giving Lexa a wink. Octavia was beginning to wake up, though she still wasn't moving very much - somehow, over the course of the ride, she had wrapped herself entirely in Lincoln's coat, giving the impression of a peaceful burrito. At least, a peaceful burrito until she gained full awareness of her surroundings and started frantically wriggling out.

"Are they always like this?" Anya wondered.

"Yep," Raven answered. "Regrettably."

"Hey, we're not _that_ bad!" Octavia snapped.

"Says the one cocooned in her significant other's coat." Octavia started burrowing again.

"Wake me up when we actually get to the campsite, okay?"

"Your wish is my command, great Ontari-slayer," Clarke muttered. "The second-in-command to the legendary cornmander."

"I thought that you were the cornmander's second-in-command," Lexa said.

"Is this some kind of weird roleplay thing?" Anya asked. Raven shrugged.

"If it is, this is the first I've heard of it."

***

As it turned out, Octavia didn't end up sleeping for very long. The minivan reached the campsite hardly ten minutes later, screeching to a halt at the entrance to the forest.

"Alright, everyone, we're here!" Raven yelled, flopping back into her seat. "God, that was stressful."

"You could've asked me to take over," Anya said.

"It's an honor thing." Aden pushed open the trunk, jumping out with Fish hot on his tail. Lexa followed, picking up some of the camping equipment as she did so. Octavia, still wrapped in Lincoln's coat, hopped out as she finally managed to untangle herself from it. Lincoln and Clarke left next, both carrying as much as they could, and Raven was the last to leave after Anya took her three coffee mugs from their place in the cupholder. "If I remember correctly, there's a pretty nice clearing up ahead. I'll lead, you guys can follow. Don't carry more than you can handle, we'll be coming back anyway!" Anya fell back, keeping pace with Clarke and Lexa.

"Your friend is pretty energetic," she said. "Especially considering the fact that she's been driving for four hours."

"That's Raven for you," Clarke sighed, taking a deep sniff as the scents of the forest wafted through the air. "She's never let anything get her down. It's pretty admirable, really. I'm more or less convinced that she would probably be the only one of us who could actually survive the apocalypse." Anya raised an eyebrow.

"That's . . . a very specific thing to think about."

"Oh, we've talked about it in depth."

"You've talked about what you'd do in the event of the apocalypse?"

"Yep. I would help rally people and heal injuries, Lexa would lead us, Raven would build bombs to defend us from the zombies or enemies or whatever the end of the world leaves, and Octavia and Lincoln would fight them off."

"Where would I be in this scenario?"

"We had always assumed that the apocalypse wouldn't reach California," Lexa said.

"Huh." Clarke reached for Lexa's hand, and she took it without hesitation. "Honestly, I'm pretty sure that the Nightblood Corporation would be the ones to cause it. From the way people talked about her, your grandmother seemed to ambitious for her own good, Lexa."

"Your grandmother?" Clarke asked.

"Yes." Lexa looked up at the gray sky, still snowing. "I never knew her personally, but she was a woman who was known to try out things that weren't considered safe by any means. She wanted to go to space, according to the books. She never did, but she really did try."

"She sounds like a badass," Raven commented, hefting at least three sleeping bags over her shoulder.

"She sounds like you," Anya muttered.

"That's fair. What do you think, Lexa, could I be a long-lost descendent of Granny Woods?" Raven flashed a grin before walking ahead to keep up with Aden.

"Your friends are a strange bunch," Anya said. Lexa smiled, and Clarke felt her cheeks warming up despite the cold.

"I used to think that, too," she murmured. "They are, but they're the most wonderful strange bunch I've ever met."

***

The clearing, thankfully, wasn't very far away from where Raven had parked the car, and the group soon found themselves more or less settled. Octavia had somehow managed to climb a tree and was perching on a thin branch while Lincoln nervously stood beneath her, piling up the sleeping bags in case she fell. Raven had brought a Bunsen burner to roast marshmallows (as well as a copious amount of the marshmallows themselves, which had somehow remained intact and untouched by Fish during the car ride) and Clarke was beginning to set it up. Anya had slipped away at some point, but nobody seemed to have noticed. The tent stood on a shaky foundation, and Lexa was understandably concerned about whether or not it would last the night.

"How can you roast a good marshmallow in this thing?" Clarke muttered.

"You guys should just set some sticks on fire!" Octavia said from her position on the tree. "That's how I'd do it!"

"Yeah, we should definitely risk causing a forest fire to toast marshmallows," Clarke retorted.

"Why don't you ask Raven?" Octavia flopped over on the branch so that her arms hung loosely off of the tree. "She's kinda the 'blowing-things-up' expert, maybe she'd know how to make a safe fire."

"I'll ask her." Raven, however, was nowhere to be found.

"I haven't seen her," Lexa said. "She might have gone back to the car to grab something."

"I doubt it. We have everything here."

"Still, maybe-"

"Fish! Hey, Fish, calm down!" Aden screeched as the dog in question yanked at the makeshift leash he had been tied to for the past twenty minutes, barking frantically. Fish managed to break free and ran through the bushes, followed by a nervous Aden.

"We should go after them," Lexa said. "I wouldn't want Aden to get hurt."

"I'm coming too," Clarke added.

"I'll stay here, thanks," Octavia sighed. "I don't know how to get down." Lexa didn't ask questions about that, simply taking Clarke's hand into her own and running after Aden and Fish. The sun had since gone down, and Lexa idly thought that the stars seemed to be more vivid out here, more clear and beautiful.

_"That one's the Big Dipper, you've probably heard of it already."_ Lexa skidded to a halt as the car came into view.

"Clarke? Did you say that?"

"What? No."

"Who did, then?" Clarke silently pointed to the roof of the car, where Raven sat next to Anya as the older girl pointed out more constellations. Fish circled the car, and Aden circled Fish.

"Hey, I brought my laptop. Wanna watch a movie?" Raven dug something out of her bag, though Lexa couldn't exactly see what it was from this distance.

"She said that we weren't bringing any electronics, the goddamn hypocrite," Clarke growled.

"I think it's kind of nice," Lexa murmured. "Do you think we should say something?"

"Nope. Maybe we should let them have this little private moment. I get the feeling that this could be the, ahem, start of something new." Lexa snorted.

"Have you ever _not_ referenced that film in a situation?" she chuckled.

"Again, nope." Clarke paused for a moment, looking up at the sky. "The stars really are pretty, aren't they?"

"Yeah."

"It feels . . . familiar, somehow. Like I've been here before."

"You believe in reincarnation?" Lexa was feeling as if this conversation had already happened at some point.

"Nah. I think it might just be a general feeling of happiness. Like I'm a little kid again, watching the grownups whisper to each other from afar. Except now I have you." Clarke leaned over to kiss Lexa on the cheek. Lexa, gently, turned her head just enough so that Clarke ended up kissing her on the lips instead, and it wasn't quite the explosion of fireworks it had first been - no, it was familiar and comforting, a feeling of _home_ and _safety_ that she couldn't quite describe. Clarke smiled between kisses, and Lexa had never been more in love.

"You know we can see you, right?" Lexa nearly fell into the bushes. Anya had turned her attention away from Raven, and even from this distance, Lexa could see that she was glaring at the two. "Ah, well, I guess the jig's up. It was fun while it lasted, Reyes." Aden had seemed to wait until that moment to actually notice that Anya was there, but his attention was entirely focused on the computer.

"Hey!" he chirped. "How about we all watch a super-cool movie together once we get back to the other friends?" Raven humored him, bending down to pat Fish on the head.

"What movie?" Aden smiled deviously.

"I know _exactly_ what movie," he said.

***

Twenty minutes and a somewhat awkward trip back to the clearing later, the five (and Fish) settled around a campfire built by a reluctant Anya while Octavia gracefully jumped from the tree directly onto the pile of sleeping bags. The scent of smoke and sugar drifted through the air, and Clarke felt an odd sense of peace stirring in her gut. She didn't have very much time to think about it, however, before Lexa's marshmallow abruptly caught fire. She shook the stick vigorously until the tiny flame had extinguished, leaving a burnt husk in its place.

"Lexa, you're the most beautiful flaming marshmallow I've ever seen," Clarke cooed. Lexa snorted.

"Are you two gonna do the kissing now?" Aden asked, looking away from Raven's laptop for a few seconds. Lexa might have started blushing, though Clarke wondered if it was just the light of the fire.

"This is grown-up stuff, Aden," Lexa called over her shoulder as she snuggled against Clarke. "I wouldn't want you to think about things that haven't happened yet. It may sound a bit cliche, but I think the best piece of advice I've ever received is 'live in the moment.' Perhaps things will go badly in the future, perhaps you'll be forced to grow up, but we're still . . . we're still kids, right now. That's something valuable, I think."

_This is happiness,_ Clarke realized. _This, this moment with my wacko friends and my girlfriend and my girlfriend's wacko friend, this is what we're supposed to strive for. This is living, this is some kind of perfect time in our lives. I'm not going to waste it._ With that thought, Clarke bent over and kissed Lexa for the second time that night, not wanting to let go of her for even a second. Octavia cheered from her position on top of the sleeping bags. Everyone smiled, looking to each other with shared grins on their faces. _This is happiness._

_And that was all there really was to it,_ Clarke thought, watching Lexa's smile set alight by the crackling fire, Anya's knowing nod from the corner, Aden's excited squeals as Raven loaded up the movie on her laptop, Lincoln and Octavia practically joined at the hip. Her life was not some great tragedy, and edge-of-your-seat ending filled with tense _I love yous_ spoken in desperation.

"There's no reception in the woods, you know," Raven muttered. Octavia had burrowed into Lincoln's coat again.

No, Clarke did not exist in a Romeo and Juliet, some tale of utter sorrow. No, she lived in this moment, in a Disney ending, in a blissful type of _High School Muscial._ It would be impossible for everyone to know this sort of wonderful time - Clarke thought guiltily of Costia, of Finn, of unspoken fears, and yet . . . and yet here she was, happy, with the girl she loved safe and leaning against her shoulder. The movie passed by in a blue of bright images, and the credits rolled before Clarke even knew it.

_we could be immortals_

Clarke Griffin was very tired, but oh, she thought, we really could.

_We deserve that much, at least._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey hey friends guess what time it is? it's _sappy end-of-fic reflection time!_ so, yeah. i started writing this out of spite towards jroth - if he won't give these kids a happy ending, i thought, then i will, and it'll be the sappiest happy ending ever and it'll be set in a high school because Why Not. and it was. it never got as much attention as my other multi-chapter fic (the kumirei coffeeshop au) but by god it was fun to write. and it helped give me closure, in a way. in this world, in this alternate universe, these kids had a happy ending. the high school musical motif wasn't something i started using until a while into the fic, admittedly, but i ended up becoming rather fond of during that time, and it sort of ended up representing my feelings towards this project as a whole. high school musical was someone's romeo and juliet au fanfiction, guys. don't be afraid to write your own happy endings, alright? we'll have better representation soon, just keep holding on. i love you nerds.


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